Once someone has given you a written 'to whom it may concern' reference?
are they allowed to ask for it back, simply because of a dispute over something unrelated? I worked very hard and very well for my ex boss, and she provided me with a glowing written reference. we later parted on bad terms as she refused to pay me holiday pay that i was entitled to. a couple of weeks later, after i no longer worked for her, i received an email from her requesting that i destroy the reference or send it back to her. is this legal?
Answers:
I don't know if it's legal or not, but it's certainly unethical, not to mention rude and unprofessional. I wouldn't send it back, and I wouldn't destroy it either. I'm not sure I would use it however, because if the new employer checks with her..??.who knows WHAT she would say.
Nope, just because she wants to doesn't mean she can take it back.
You don't have to destroy it or give it back, but clearly you won't want to use her as a reference anymore. Therefore, it's basically worthless.unless you want to use excerpts from it on your resume! :)
Don't know if it's legal, but reasonable. After all, if you use her as a reference, they're going to call her. That would make for an awkward conversation with the potential employer.
She cant ask for it back but she can and probably will give you a really bad verbal reference,
If I was you I would tell any possible future employees about it so they go on the written ref.
No..just keep it to prove her original intention to that date.
Then you can support your story re a later dispute to the prospective employer.
Honesty together with prudence should see you ok.
I am not sure if it is legal but i think she might be called and asked what u were like and she could tell them her opinion of your falling out. I am not sure.
dude what are you going on about , slow down man, if you think you have been insulted then get around to meeting them in person and sort thing out the right way. we have to take blame some times and stand up for our selfs to find out who you are.
She can choose to endorse you or not--her call --but to ask for the letter back is a childish move on her part--that is something else that is not normally done by someone--my suggestion to you is that you tell any prospective employers the exact explaination that you've given here and present them with that letter and let them take it all into consideration--they should know that somethings up with a person who would issue a glowing report on someone and then turn around on a dime to not endorse the person for someone else's employment
Even if you didn't give her the reference letter back, I don't think it would be wise to even consider her as a reference. Potential employers will want to contact her for her feedback on your performance and it could backfire on you. You can cross her off your list of people to use as reference.
I'm not a lawyer but I doubt it is legal. She's obviously bitter. Don't back down because why should she get the pleasure the cow? I had a similar experience. I had two weeks off work with my boss's blessing as I suffered something traumatic in my life and was told to come back to work when I was ready. Not long after that I had a chest infection for a week and when I returned I was told that my absence would go down on my record and she actually did tell my new employers about my absences (not including the fact that she had encouraged me to take the time off and working with children at the time I couldn't go into work and switch off). Luckily my new employers saw right through this and I've proved to them I'm a good worker (in all my life I've hardly had a day off sick). People like them think they are higher beings who can control your life. Hope you get professional advice. Good luck!
She has the right to request that you no longer use her as a reference. If you do continue to use her reference letter and someone calls her, she may not say good things about you. If it is possible to mend this relationship so that she would be willing to allow you to use her as a reference, I would do that. That may mean apologizing, even if you don't think you were wrong. A reference is a gracious personal gift, not a professional obligation, so there is no legal issue here.
Think about whether this woman's reference could be important to you in the future. If you think you may need her on your side, send flowers and apologize that what had been a good working relationship ended on a sour note. Tell her how much you learned from her, how much you respect her, etc., etc. (Yes, this is kissing butt!) Perhaps she will relent and agree to let you use her as a reference.
If you really don't need this reference in your portfolio, respect her wishes and send it back to her. I would still say that you are sorry things ended so badly and you wish her well. Don't burn bridges!
you have to ask yourself if you would really want to use this person as a reference anyway. If there is that much bad blood then the reference is probably worthless anyway.
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Answers:
I don't know if it's legal or not, but it's certainly unethical, not to mention rude and unprofessional. I wouldn't send it back, and I wouldn't destroy it either. I'm not sure I would use it however, because if the new employer checks with her..??.who knows WHAT she would say.
Nope, just because she wants to doesn't mean she can take it back.
You don't have to destroy it or give it back, but clearly you won't want to use her as a reference anymore. Therefore, it's basically worthless.unless you want to use excerpts from it on your resume! :)
Don't know if it's legal, but reasonable. After all, if you use her as a reference, they're going to call her. That would make for an awkward conversation with the potential employer.
She cant ask for it back but she can and probably will give you a really bad verbal reference,
If I was you I would tell any possible future employees about it so they go on the written ref.
No..just keep it to prove her original intention to that date.
Then you can support your story re a later dispute to the prospective employer.
Honesty together with prudence should see you ok.
I am not sure if it is legal but i think she might be called and asked what u were like and she could tell them her opinion of your falling out. I am not sure.
dude what are you going on about , slow down man, if you think you have been insulted then get around to meeting them in person and sort thing out the right way. we have to take blame some times and stand up for our selfs to find out who you are.
She can choose to endorse you or not--her call --but to ask for the letter back is a childish move on her part--that is something else that is not normally done by someone--my suggestion to you is that you tell any prospective employers the exact explaination that you've given here and present them with that letter and let them take it all into consideration--they should know that somethings up with a person who would issue a glowing report on someone and then turn around on a dime to not endorse the person for someone else's employment
Even if you didn't give her the reference letter back, I don't think it would be wise to even consider her as a reference. Potential employers will want to contact her for her feedback on your performance and it could backfire on you. You can cross her off your list of people to use as reference.
I'm not a lawyer but I doubt it is legal. She's obviously bitter. Don't back down because why should she get the pleasure the cow? I had a similar experience. I had two weeks off work with my boss's blessing as I suffered something traumatic in my life and was told to come back to work when I was ready. Not long after that I had a chest infection for a week and when I returned I was told that my absence would go down on my record and she actually did tell my new employers about my absences (not including the fact that she had encouraged me to take the time off and working with children at the time I couldn't go into work and switch off). Luckily my new employers saw right through this and I've proved to them I'm a good worker (in all my life I've hardly had a day off sick). People like them think they are higher beings who can control your life. Hope you get professional advice. Good luck!
She has the right to request that you no longer use her as a reference. If you do continue to use her reference letter and someone calls her, she may not say good things about you. If it is possible to mend this relationship so that she would be willing to allow you to use her as a reference, I would do that. That may mean apologizing, even if you don't think you were wrong. A reference is a gracious personal gift, not a professional obligation, so there is no legal issue here.
Think about whether this woman's reference could be important to you in the future. If you think you may need her on your side, send flowers and apologize that what had been a good working relationship ended on a sour note. Tell her how much you learned from her, how much you respect her, etc., etc. (Yes, this is kissing butt!) Perhaps she will relent and agree to let you use her as a reference.
If you really don't need this reference in your portfolio, respect her wishes and send it back to her. I would still say that you are sorry things ended so badly and you wish her well. Don't burn bridges!
you have to ask yourself if you would really want to use this person as a reference anyway. If there is that much bad blood then the reference is probably worthless anyway.
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