Do you work for a company that has a mission statement?
If so, is it a statement that makes any sense or is rather a collection of Dilbertian buzzwords randomly selected by throwing darts at a business dictionary?
If it is extremely funny, please amuse me by quoting it for me!
Answers:
Oh, god, yes. I work for an oil exploration and production company. They made $660 million dollars last quarter. The mission statement isn't full of buzzwords; it's just loaded with ENORMOUS amounts of BS.
From the mission statement:
Our mission is to build a dynamic, global exploration and production company to provide oil and natural gas for the purpose of advancing the quality of human lives.
We will conduct our business from a foundation of integrity and respect for people, their cultures and traditions.
We derive benefit from the Earth and take our environmental responsibility seriously.
Profit from our growing business is the glue that unites XXXXX employees, partners, suppliers and shareholders in the fulfillment of our long-term mission.
Values
Conduct business with honesty and integrity.
Respect and invest in our greatest asset: our people.
Conduct business with respect for people, cultures and traditions.
Foster an entrepreneurial spirit; expect and reward innovation and creativity.
Drive to succeed with a sense of urgency.
Hoe komt het toch dat je zó goed de engelse taal beheerst?
Ook door een amerikaans vriendje, zoals ik mijn amerikaans vriendinnetje heb?
Almost every company I have worked for has come out with mission statements stating how important the people are who work for them. This is almost always followed by a massive layoff.
LVPG was created to give physicians an opportunity to be part of a professionally managed and physician-driven organization that is tightly aligned to the Lehigh Valley Hospital network, and that participates in clinical excellence and innovation, education, and research. Our values include:
Preserving and nurturing the professional/patient relationship
Seeking to preserve the best of each individual LVPG practice’s character and culture.
Seeking to integrate optimal patient satisfaction with best clinical practice.
Collaboration both within the practice group and with the greater medical community.
Developing and sustaining a professionally satisfying environment that encompasses clinical care, education and research.
Not mine for the hospital but the one i could find for the Dr.s
Business mission statements are nothing more than feel good rhetorics to make the customer feel important. The bottom line is that business has always been, and always will be, about the almighty buck.
Used to do. Try to move on when that starts.
yes it made sense - (non)sense, full of jargon and you could pick it up and throw it at the nearest other "quality-centric" organisation and it would work just as well. It was so memorable despite working their for years i cannot remember! Just tie together lots buzzwords and you'lle hit it eventually
Very Dilbertarian.. enjoy (I've placed X's in a few places to provide anonymity to the innocent - that would be me)
MISSION STATEMENT
The mission of the XXX office is to provide strategic direction to our XXX and stakeholders with a passionate focus on increasing revenue, maximizing profit, and driving market share.
We are committed to:
•Offering accurate, quality & timely market intelligence
•Being accessible and responsive
•Creating an environment that fosters teamwork, innovation and imagination
One would think we were creating another Disneyland.
If you're truly interested in developing a mission staement devoid of banalities, trite catchwords, and platitudes, then get hold of Principle Centered Leadership by Dr Stephen Covey. Covey Institute if you look them up online. That is how a mission statement can be develpoed that accurately reflects your goals and attitudes to whatever the group situation is whether it be family or work or divisions within your workplace. You ought not spend your time poking fun at others' attempts to get themselves focused in the right direction even if they are going about it in the wrong way.
Jack Welch in his book the winning has mentioned the importance of Mission statement. I suggest that you should go through it
Yes in my place of work we do have a mission statement. It does make alot of sense, because of our residents in our Health Care Center.
H
I love the ones churned out by Dilbert's Mission Statement Generator (see link), such as -
"It's our responsibility to collaboratively engineer economically sound deliverables in order to enthusiastically initiate world-class content to set us apart from the competition"
Its fun to take phrases from dilbert's mission statement generator and see if any company has used them in real life.
Here's a real doozy from Callcentre Ltd. I found it by searching for 'proactively empower' on google -
"Do your existing service providers proactively empower your organisation with solutions, which directly assist your business in delivering its goals?
As a knowledge partner, Callstream brings an innovative and fresh perspective to the way in which organisations with contact centre environments communicate."
"You CAN do more evil --- if you stay on the right side of the law!"
iamonanutmission.Good heavens, you are intelligent!Don't let any one know on here or they'll start stalking you
Oh,uh,yeah I don't know what your question means.Well yes maybe I do.Our mission:to serve our customers with the pride that comes with knowing we are the best.Something like that?No, my company doesn't have a mission statement.Sorry
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If it is extremely funny, please amuse me by quoting it for me!
Answers:
Oh, god, yes. I work for an oil exploration and production company. They made $660 million dollars last quarter. The mission statement isn't full of buzzwords; it's just loaded with ENORMOUS amounts of BS.
From the mission statement:
Our mission is to build a dynamic, global exploration and production company to provide oil and natural gas for the purpose of advancing the quality of human lives.
We will conduct our business from a foundation of integrity and respect for people, their cultures and traditions.
We derive benefit from the Earth and take our environmental responsibility seriously.
Profit from our growing business is the glue that unites XXXXX employees, partners, suppliers and shareholders in the fulfillment of our long-term mission.
Values
Conduct business with honesty and integrity.
Respect and invest in our greatest asset: our people.
Conduct business with respect for people, cultures and traditions.
Foster an entrepreneurial spirit; expect and reward innovation and creativity.
Drive to succeed with a sense of urgency.
Hoe komt het toch dat je zó goed de engelse taal beheerst?
Ook door een amerikaans vriendje, zoals ik mijn amerikaans vriendinnetje heb?
Almost every company I have worked for has come out with mission statements stating how important the people are who work for them. This is almost always followed by a massive layoff.
LVPG was created to give physicians an opportunity to be part of a professionally managed and physician-driven organization that is tightly aligned to the Lehigh Valley Hospital network, and that participates in clinical excellence and innovation, education, and research. Our values include:
Preserving and nurturing the professional/patient relationship
Seeking to preserve the best of each individual LVPG practice’s character and culture.
Seeking to integrate optimal patient satisfaction with best clinical practice.
Collaboration both within the practice group and with the greater medical community.
Developing and sustaining a professionally satisfying environment that encompasses clinical care, education and research.
Not mine for the hospital but the one i could find for the Dr.s
Business mission statements are nothing more than feel good rhetorics to make the customer feel important. The bottom line is that business has always been, and always will be, about the almighty buck.
Used to do. Try to move on when that starts.
yes it made sense - (non)sense, full of jargon and you could pick it up and throw it at the nearest other "quality-centric" organisation and it would work just as well. It was so memorable despite working their for years i cannot remember! Just tie together lots buzzwords and you'lle hit it eventually
Very Dilbertarian.. enjoy (I've placed X's in a few places to provide anonymity to the innocent - that would be me)
MISSION STATEMENT
The mission of the XXX office is to provide strategic direction to our XXX and stakeholders with a passionate focus on increasing revenue, maximizing profit, and driving market share.
We are committed to:
•Offering accurate, quality & timely market intelligence
•Being accessible and responsive
•Creating an environment that fosters teamwork, innovation and imagination
One would think we were creating another Disneyland.
If you're truly interested in developing a mission staement devoid of banalities, trite catchwords, and platitudes, then get hold of Principle Centered Leadership by Dr Stephen Covey. Covey Institute if you look them up online. That is how a mission statement can be develpoed that accurately reflects your goals and attitudes to whatever the group situation is whether it be family or work or divisions within your workplace. You ought not spend your time poking fun at others' attempts to get themselves focused in the right direction even if they are going about it in the wrong way.
Jack Welch in his book the winning has mentioned the importance of Mission statement. I suggest that you should go through it
Yes in my place of work we do have a mission statement. It does make alot of sense, because of our residents in our Health Care Center.
H
I love the ones churned out by Dilbert's Mission Statement Generator (see link), such as -
"It's our responsibility to collaboratively engineer economically sound deliverables in order to enthusiastically initiate world-class content to set us apart from the competition"
Its fun to take phrases from dilbert's mission statement generator and see if any company has used them in real life.
Here's a real doozy from Callcentre Ltd. I found it by searching for 'proactively empower' on google -
"Do your existing service providers proactively empower your organisation with solutions, which directly assist your business in delivering its goals?
As a knowledge partner, Callstream brings an innovative and fresh perspective to the way in which organisations with contact centre environments communicate."
"You CAN do more evil --- if you stay on the right side of the law!"
iamonanutmission.Good heavens, you are intelligent!Don't let any one know on here or they'll start stalking you
Oh,uh,yeah I don't know what your question means.Well yes maybe I do.Our mission:to serve our customers with the pride that comes with knowing we are the best.Something like that?No, my company doesn't have a mission statement.Sorry
Global Top 10 by 2010
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