What is more useless than a chocolate teapot?
I'm after some funny, original analogies for something I'm writing, please.
(Those of you who were going to answer "you are" please feel free and have the satisfaction of knowing that you are absolutely right.
Answers:
Chocolate kettle...
Yes i did, means i'm one step ahead of you. Call me if you need more help.
If this is for something " you are writing " then why try to use other peoples ideas, get the drift - cheating or what.
Dont you like peoples answer " you are " . If you cant take it , dont give it out " dear "
Do you really live such a boring life that you have to write about useless things, whoever asked you to do it was probably, tongue in cheek asking for " tell me about you ".
" you want more dumbo, sorry donna..
I can sit here all day, im used to the mentally handicapped, so dealing with you is no probs.
Just for the record, im only on here as ive used all my 60 answer quota for today or i would not give you my time of day..
Not looking for an argument fatso, just giving you some hometruths, as i said if you cant take it dont fukcing give it ar*ehole...
I see , you only like to talk to inteligent people, is that why you have just left a message on one of my questions, am i getting to you..boo hoo..
bet you are fuming that im able to reply back to you so easilly, you know what, you'r as useless as a chocolate teapot..
Right , im taking bets that i get the ten points..
I've said earlier people spend too much time on here moaning about spelling and grammar..petty issues..i hope you have now realised that uncurtious comments like "dear" are uncalled for when someone is trying to give you an answer to your question. Now that im getting to you , then i appologise. I did answer your original question with good intent. You want me dont you ? your gaggin for it..
I know its not an analogy, but the expression i always like is .'its like trying to herd cats in a thunderstorm' i.e. very difficult
a chocolate fire guard
An ashtray on a motorbicycle.
My husband always says " about as much use as a dried up tortoise" he also calls his boss "chocolate teapot"!!
a spare dick at an orgy
A man without his "manhood"!
And to be fair.
A woman who can't cook!
A tart's knicker elastic
a chocolate toilet
a pin pricked jonny
Our Prime minister
slower than molasses in january (basicvally not moving at all)
a glass hammer
empy ink cartriges. at least a chocolate teapot is enteresting to look at, and it might taste good!
A pork pie in a synagogue
That what my hubby says also he says" its like rocking horse sh*t" when something is hard to find.
a fur lined fruit bowl
A one legged man in an a r s e kicking contest
a mobile wid a pin code , unless u no da pin code , u aint got a hope in hell of guessin da code
a lead parachute and a hand brake on a canoo.
inflatable dart board,
holy water bed,
a beef pig
A GLASS NAIL ( NOT A FINGERNAIL)
an ashtray on a motor bike, or as mad as a box of frogs
a chocolate microwave
He's that useless,he couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
About as much use as a watering can on a damp day
A chocolate fireguard
That tight He won't eat his peas in case he farts for free
A sun lamp in the dessert.
couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery
a company director ? you couldn't direct traffic !
the lights are on but there's no-one home
tartan paint
bubble for a spirit level
sky hooks
skirting board ladder
a FART in a SPACESUIT.
I think probably..an ashtray on a motorcycle..
a chocolate teacup.
or a chocolate spoon to stir the chocolate sweetener that you have just put into your chocolate tea in your chocolate teapot which you poured into a chocolate teacup.
T*ts on a bull
Your as much use as a fly on a cows Ar.e!!
Useless is as Useless Does.
Your as much use as a match without a striker.
If you cross a cow with a camel do you get lumpy milkshake?
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Does my being overweight upset you?This Q renders'being overweight' a noun.Is it grammatically correct to ask?
(Those of you who were going to answer "you are" please feel free and have the satisfaction of knowing that you are absolutely right.
Answers:
Chocolate kettle...
Yes i did, means i'm one step ahead of you. Call me if you need more help.
If this is for something " you are writing " then why try to use other peoples ideas, get the drift - cheating or what.
Dont you like peoples answer " you are " . If you cant take it , dont give it out " dear "
Do you really live such a boring life that you have to write about useless things, whoever asked you to do it was probably, tongue in cheek asking for " tell me about you ".
" you want more dumbo, sorry donna..
I can sit here all day, im used to the mentally handicapped, so dealing with you is no probs.
Just for the record, im only on here as ive used all my 60 answer quota for today or i would not give you my time of day..
Not looking for an argument fatso, just giving you some hometruths, as i said if you cant take it dont fukcing give it ar*ehole...
I see , you only like to talk to inteligent people, is that why you have just left a message on one of my questions, am i getting to you..boo hoo..
bet you are fuming that im able to reply back to you so easilly, you know what, you'r as useless as a chocolate teapot..
Right , im taking bets that i get the ten points..
I've said earlier people spend too much time on here moaning about spelling and grammar..petty issues..i hope you have now realised that uncurtious comments like "dear" are uncalled for when someone is trying to give you an answer to your question. Now that im getting to you , then i appologise. I did answer your original question with good intent. You want me dont you ? your gaggin for it..
I know its not an analogy, but the expression i always like is .'its like trying to herd cats in a thunderstorm' i.e. very difficult
a chocolate fire guard
An ashtray on a motorbicycle.
My husband always says " about as much use as a dried up tortoise" he also calls his boss "chocolate teapot"!!
a spare dick at an orgy
A man without his "manhood"!
And to be fair.
A woman who can't cook!
A tart's knicker elastic
a chocolate toilet
a pin pricked jonny
Our Prime minister
slower than molasses in january (basicvally not moving at all)
a glass hammer
empy ink cartriges. at least a chocolate teapot is enteresting to look at, and it might taste good!
A pork pie in a synagogue
That what my hubby says also he says" its like rocking horse sh*t" when something is hard to find.
a fur lined fruit bowl
A one legged man in an a r s e kicking contest
a mobile wid a pin code , unless u no da pin code , u aint got a hope in hell of guessin da code
a lead parachute and a hand brake on a canoo.
inflatable dart board,
holy water bed,
a beef pig
A GLASS NAIL ( NOT A FINGERNAIL)
an ashtray on a motor bike, or as mad as a box of frogs
a chocolate microwave
He's that useless,he couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
About as much use as a watering can on a damp day
A chocolate fireguard
That tight He won't eat his peas in case he farts for free
A sun lamp in the dessert.
couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery
a company director ? you couldn't direct traffic !
the lights are on but there's no-one home
tartan paint
bubble for a spirit level
sky hooks
skirting board ladder
a FART in a SPACESUIT.
I think probably..an ashtray on a motorcycle..
a chocolate teacup.
or a chocolate spoon to stir the chocolate sweetener that you have just put into your chocolate tea in your chocolate teapot which you poured into a chocolate teacup.
T*ts on a bull
Your as much use as a fly on a cows Ar.e!!
Useless is as Useless Does.
Your as much use as a match without a striker.
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