I went down the shops yesterday for about 45 minutes and left my 10 year old alone..?
.do you think that's ok?
It was early evening and he was parked in front of the tv. I left my mobile number for him in case there was a problem and told him exactly when I'd get back.
He was quite happy to be left and not worried at all.
I'd be happy to hear what other parents think about this? However, if you disagree, please don't be rude - I am far from being irresponsible, but I would be genuinely interested in your views.
What age do you think it's acceptable to leave kids for short periods? My view is that at some stage you have to give them a bit of independance, a little bit at a time. But do you think 10 is TOO soon.
(BTW: this is the first time he has ever been left).
Answers:
This is a hard one to call. Stop feeling guilty first of all, you are, I am sure, a very good, kind and loving mother. My eldest is nearly 8, the shop is 2 minutes from my house and yes there have been times I have wanted to just 'pop' to the shop, but with a 2 year old as well, there is no way I could leave them. At 10, he is older and wiser no doubt and you did all the right things before leaving him. As I am sure a lot of 30+ year olds will remember, we all seemed to have a lot more freedom to play, to be left alone etc. It's a very good question, but I don't know the answer, sorry. What age can we leave them alone? What age can we stop wrapping them up in cotton wool, and just let them have a little more trust and responsibility? If you get the right answer mail me! I wish I knew. What age do you let them go to the shop themselves!? the list is endless isn't it and as responsible, loving and caring parents I don't think we'll ever get the answers we need, or the reassurance we seek. However, what always makes me shudder is when I was little, about 7. The neighbour opposite us, popped to the shop for about 15/20 mins, leaving her kids apparantly 'safe'; in just that time her 3 yr old, who had been left with 2 other older siblings, the eldest age 11, decided to use the matches he found in the kitchen and set fire to the curtains. The house was an inferno in minutes, all the kids were safe and got out with the help of other neighbours, but i can still remember that woman screaming and hugging her kids when she got back and saw the fire engines and her windows blowing out at her house!! The house was wrecked, but fortunately everyone was safe and well. Sad but true. So I guess, we all have to think about it very carefully.
Sounds fine to me. You did all the right things - left the mobile no., only went for 3/4 of an hour etc. Your son sounds like he is mature enough to handle it - obviously it wouldnt be good for long periods of time each child is different and though 10 would be too young for some in your ons case I think its okay xx
when i was 6 and started to go to school i spent more than 4 hours alone at home 'till my parents came from work. 10 years it's not too soon but depends on the child.
i think its fine as long as he is fine with it. parents shouldn't have a problem with it unless the child is really young and in distress.
so don't panic he had entertainment and probably felt like and adult being left in the car
I think the legal age that a child can be left alone is 12. But it obviously depends on how mature and comfortable your child is with being left. It was OK in this instance but I'd maybe think twice about doing it again! :)
I think that's too young, as he doesn't yet have the ability to guage what to do in an emergency situation. I wasn't left home alone till I was at least thirteen, and then with an older sibling. Just my opinion though.
Actually the age depends upon the state you live in if you live in the states. Ages for kids being left home alone for ANY amount of time varies. When my daughter was about 10 she would get home from school before I got home from work, she was usually home alone for about an hour. She had all the numbers as well as the neighbor's numbers. Then she got interested in some afterschool activities so she was no longer left alone. I would never go out shopping and leave her alone though.
i think it is ok, but not for long periods until he is older.
remember he is a boy and boys will be boys and get into some sort of trouble
My brother and i were left alone when my mum went out but i think its different when there are two to look after each other
Your son may be very grown up for his age, but i really feel 10 is to young to be left home alone, what would have happened to him had you had an accident on the way to the shops, besides i think the law and social services would view this very dimly, he could have popped up stairs to the toilet, fallen on the way down and hit his head, what excuse would you have made for why it took so long to get him help. I am a mum and i certainly would not leave my children home alone until they are at least teenagers, even then it would not be for long
I'm a parent of a ten year old boy and i would not leave him in the house alone.where we see dangers a ten year old sees fun.it only take a second for disaster to strike.and what if the answer the door while we are not there.i know we can tell them not to ..but i bet a pound to a pinch of salt that if someone knocks on the door they will answer it.theres a lot of bad people on the streets now so just be careful
The problem with a child is that it has no sense of cause and effect, are not capable of serious rational thought and are into everything.
Any house is a potential disaster area, full of danger.
I can see your point that they will be left some time, but unitl they can recognise dangers around them, my take on this would be to get his/her's coat and take with you.
If the kid is generally pretty sensible and reliable, I don't see the problem. Less than an hour seems like something I dealt with alone even younger than that without a problem. And that was before the existence of cell phones.
if your child is sensable enough to be left and it was not for long then i think its ok! he had ya number and i assume you locked up i dont see it as a problem. it all depeneds and the child if they are mature enough. i have recently been told their is no age limit now for them been on their own but if anything happens its down to the parents! i dont know if its a true fact or not. dont worry about it you no whats best your his mum! take care
I think it is more than OK, here in Switzerland it is good to see children as young as 7 walking to school only with friends. I know it is relatively safe for them and it seems most parents send their kids to school alone but in groups. I think it all depends on the child, if they are intelligent enough there is no reason not to trust them to be sensible enough not go off with strangers.
That is too soon for you to leave your son alone at home. I wouldn't do it just b/c of the liability. It may be illegal in your state and you would not be able to forgive yourself if something ever happened. If there is an emergency - fire, child predator, etc. a 10 year old doesn't have the maturity to deal w certain situations. Wait a few years before you leave him alone or have a neighbor come over for an hour to watch him. Good luck!
it is always best to at least let a neighbor know so they can keep a distant eye, but depending on the maturaty of the child, i think it would be fine. especially if he knows how to use a phone. and it teaches him a sense of independence. i think the us army says that ten can be left alone, twelve can babysit, thirteen can babysit infants. i might be wrong. hope this helps
my mom leaves my sis alone sometimes (she's 10 also) she calls and checks up on her if she is gone more than an hour though. I agree with you..they have to be independent at some point..start "weening" them now.
You know your child better than any of us! It would probably be good if you could speak to a couple of neighbours, that way if something happens or he gets worried he could knock on a neighbours door.
I've been going shopping and leaving my son (for short periods) since about the age of 10 but he did get panicked one time so now he knows he can knock on any one of 4 doors if he wants to. He never has but its peace of mind for both of us!
Contrary to popular belief, there is no true minimum age for when kids can be left alone (Obviously we're not talking infant or toddler age here, folks.) --12 is just a general guideline. It depends on the child and their own maturity level. It depends on how long they were left and how they were left, etc. I've seen cases reported about 8 -10 year olds left alone for an hour or so have nothing done and I've seen Social Services step in for other children around the same age.
It sounds you were very responsible on how you left him. You said this was early evening? I hope still daylight.kids can get scared easily during the dark.
I honestly think 10 is too young to be left alone, how ever mature they may appear.
hi,i think no one knows their child like their mother does.i have 5 sons,ages range from 10 to 18.some responsibility's i wouldn't give my eldest but would give to my 14yr old.it depends on ow they are brought up to start with,i personally wouldn't leave my 10yr old,each to their own
my daughter is 11 and i also leave her home alone for short periods - we have a set of guidelines that she follows such as not answering the door or house phone, how to contact me and that i will only contact her via her mobile - we do have family in both neighbouring streets and a strong network of friends so i feel completely confident in leaving her - in fact she's probably safer home alone than when out playing , unfortunately - trust your instincts - you know your son capabilities and yes i think they relish the independence
Hi i believe it is legal to leave a child over 9 for short periods upon the parents decision to wether the child is responsible enough,,, however it leaves the parent responsible for any think that may go wrong,,,, if your son is responsible in your eyes then there is no problem in that for short periods of up to an hour or two i would say but only if you trust in your son to feel safe, be sensible etc.
For such a short period I don't think what you did was a massive problem but I wouldn't do it again just yet and bear in mind it isn't legal to leave your child unsupervised (do think it might be even older than 12) and I know if you were getting a babysitter they have to be over 14 to be left in charge. I would be sure he knows what to do if someone comes to the door etc. and (as happened with my nephew once) make sure he's not prey to so-called mates finding out you're not there (even for a little while) and then crashing the place!
I think it's invaluble to start teaching children responsibities in lots of ways gradually from an early age as I know it's a cliche but its true that if you coddle and tighten the reins too much they'll only rebel. I think it's good you're aware of this and doubt very much you're an irresponsible parent! I'm sure you're aware there are many who wouldn't have even thought twice about it all! If you talk to him about it all I think he'll respect you more for caring that he has his 'own life' and space.
I have a son and my mind goes loopy over what's best to do with so many things! I can see myself coming on here many times over the next few years for advice!
Good luck! :-D
As you have already stated there is no law in the UK stating the age a child has to be before being left unattended. I think it was fine for you to leave your son for a short while. You know your son best and felt you were able to trust him on his own. Me and my sister were left at home around that age while our Mum popped out. She always told our neighbour and if we had any problems we could knock on her door. I don't think 10 is too soon to be left alone for an hour or so. Anything longer I would get a babysitter especially in the evening.
We live on a military base and our community standards say that children can start being on their own for short periods of time beginning at age 10. Also, I back when I was 10 I was already babysitting for neighbors. I think there is nothing wrong with what you did. You left him a number. I assume he knows the rules. You were only gone for a short time. I don't think you did anything wrong.
It's alright, so long as your kid is responsible, ie. doesn't play with matches, or try and make fish and chips. I was going home at lunch for an hour and after school for about 3 hours when I was 7. Sandwiches in the fridge and cookies in the tin, don't touch the stove or play with matches or I'll beat you stupid, that's my dad used to say. Needless to say getting beat stupid didn't sound very appealing. I always called my moe when I got home too, so they knew I was there.
Legal age is actually 13 to be left unattended in the UK,same age as when they can be left baby-sitting and get a paper round etc.It`s not exactly unusual for some parents to do this though.Some even work and leave their kids at home off sick unattended.Nearly an hour`s too long,and it`s worse if they have younger siblings.Do what we all have to do and take Him with You.I bet He likes to be left alone.who wouldn`t ? That`s why He`s Your child/responsibility and Your His parent.Independence is letting Him go to the shop alone etc
I am assuming you are a single parent...if so...here is my answer
I was a single parent from my sons 2 month birthday....everything... I mean everything and EVERY decision I made...like such was based on my educated opinion on my sons current maturity level at the time. I raised my son to be fiercely independent..and armored him with the knowledge & education to make decisiions responsibley. I will cut this short...We ...My self and my son...were a very successful "LATCHKEY" Family..I Educated myself..on what to educate him about . AND I absolutely NEVER used this as convenient freee babysitting..You know you child..can he or shge take on the world all alone......Here let me get you started....You know your child ,,,, yourself, and the situation...DO you think YOU handled this first time test of independence and seperation as well as your 10 year old. ? Do you lack the confidence in tyoour childs abillity to be responsibley andsafely left alone..or do you lack the confidenxe iyoiur syccess in instilling responsibility and independence in you child. Both of you MUST act responsibley ,,,,,eacg abd evert time you make this decision. Remember...you are the parent.and the child is ...in fact..a child armed only with the ammo you supplied him with.. One day at a time..Sweety !!! Together.. !!!thats the way you will both make this work!
I think it's perfectly fine to leave a responsible 10 yo home for 45 minutes. Some kids that age may not be ready for it, but you know your own son and if you think it's ok, then it is.
i might leave my 10yr old but for no longer than say 10 mins, i personally wouldnt be comfortable with any longer..i would be thinking about what if someone comes to the door, /he has an accident/ his friend calls for him to play out etc.but like you say there is no legal age ,however if you leave someone under 16 alone ,you remain legally responsible for anything that happens
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It was early evening and he was parked in front of the tv. I left my mobile number for him in case there was a problem and told him exactly when I'd get back.
He was quite happy to be left and not worried at all.
I'd be happy to hear what other parents think about this? However, if you disagree, please don't be rude - I am far from being irresponsible, but I would be genuinely interested in your views.
What age do you think it's acceptable to leave kids for short periods? My view is that at some stage you have to give them a bit of independance, a little bit at a time. But do you think 10 is TOO soon.
(BTW: this is the first time he has ever been left).
Answers:
This is a hard one to call. Stop feeling guilty first of all, you are, I am sure, a very good, kind and loving mother. My eldest is nearly 8, the shop is 2 minutes from my house and yes there have been times I have wanted to just 'pop' to the shop, but with a 2 year old as well, there is no way I could leave them. At 10, he is older and wiser no doubt and you did all the right things before leaving him. As I am sure a lot of 30+ year olds will remember, we all seemed to have a lot more freedom to play, to be left alone etc. It's a very good question, but I don't know the answer, sorry. What age can we leave them alone? What age can we stop wrapping them up in cotton wool, and just let them have a little more trust and responsibility? If you get the right answer mail me! I wish I knew. What age do you let them go to the shop themselves!? the list is endless isn't it and as responsible, loving and caring parents I don't think we'll ever get the answers we need, or the reassurance we seek. However, what always makes me shudder is when I was little, about 7. The neighbour opposite us, popped to the shop for about 15/20 mins, leaving her kids apparantly 'safe'; in just that time her 3 yr old, who had been left with 2 other older siblings, the eldest age 11, decided to use the matches he found in the kitchen and set fire to the curtains. The house was an inferno in minutes, all the kids were safe and got out with the help of other neighbours, but i can still remember that woman screaming and hugging her kids when she got back and saw the fire engines and her windows blowing out at her house!! The house was wrecked, but fortunately everyone was safe and well. Sad but true. So I guess, we all have to think about it very carefully.
Sounds fine to me. You did all the right things - left the mobile no., only went for 3/4 of an hour etc. Your son sounds like he is mature enough to handle it - obviously it wouldnt be good for long periods of time each child is different and though 10 would be too young for some in your ons case I think its okay xx
when i was 6 and started to go to school i spent more than 4 hours alone at home 'till my parents came from work. 10 years it's not too soon but depends on the child.
i think its fine as long as he is fine with it. parents shouldn't have a problem with it unless the child is really young and in distress.
so don't panic he had entertainment and probably felt like and adult being left in the car
I think the legal age that a child can be left alone is 12. But it obviously depends on how mature and comfortable your child is with being left. It was OK in this instance but I'd maybe think twice about doing it again! :)
I think that's too young, as he doesn't yet have the ability to guage what to do in an emergency situation. I wasn't left home alone till I was at least thirteen, and then with an older sibling. Just my opinion though.
Actually the age depends upon the state you live in if you live in the states. Ages for kids being left home alone for ANY amount of time varies. When my daughter was about 10 she would get home from school before I got home from work, she was usually home alone for about an hour. She had all the numbers as well as the neighbor's numbers. Then she got interested in some afterschool activities so she was no longer left alone. I would never go out shopping and leave her alone though.
i think it is ok, but not for long periods until he is older.
remember he is a boy and boys will be boys and get into some sort of trouble
My brother and i were left alone when my mum went out but i think its different when there are two to look after each other
Your son may be very grown up for his age, but i really feel 10 is to young to be left home alone, what would have happened to him had you had an accident on the way to the shops, besides i think the law and social services would view this very dimly, he could have popped up stairs to the toilet, fallen on the way down and hit his head, what excuse would you have made for why it took so long to get him help. I am a mum and i certainly would not leave my children home alone until they are at least teenagers, even then it would not be for long
I'm a parent of a ten year old boy and i would not leave him in the house alone.where we see dangers a ten year old sees fun.it only take a second for disaster to strike.and what if the answer the door while we are not there.i know we can tell them not to ..but i bet a pound to a pinch of salt that if someone knocks on the door they will answer it.theres a lot of bad people on the streets now so just be careful
The problem with a child is that it has no sense of cause and effect, are not capable of serious rational thought and are into everything.
Any house is a potential disaster area, full of danger.
I can see your point that they will be left some time, but unitl they can recognise dangers around them, my take on this would be to get his/her's coat and take with you.
If the kid is generally pretty sensible and reliable, I don't see the problem. Less than an hour seems like something I dealt with alone even younger than that without a problem. And that was before the existence of cell phones.
if your child is sensable enough to be left and it was not for long then i think its ok! he had ya number and i assume you locked up i dont see it as a problem. it all depeneds and the child if they are mature enough. i have recently been told their is no age limit now for them been on their own but if anything happens its down to the parents! i dont know if its a true fact or not. dont worry about it you no whats best your his mum! take care
I think it is more than OK, here in Switzerland it is good to see children as young as 7 walking to school only with friends. I know it is relatively safe for them and it seems most parents send their kids to school alone but in groups. I think it all depends on the child, if they are intelligent enough there is no reason not to trust them to be sensible enough not go off with strangers.
That is too soon for you to leave your son alone at home. I wouldn't do it just b/c of the liability. It may be illegal in your state and you would not be able to forgive yourself if something ever happened. If there is an emergency - fire, child predator, etc. a 10 year old doesn't have the maturity to deal w certain situations. Wait a few years before you leave him alone or have a neighbor come over for an hour to watch him. Good luck!
it is always best to at least let a neighbor know so they can keep a distant eye, but depending on the maturaty of the child, i think it would be fine. especially if he knows how to use a phone. and it teaches him a sense of independence. i think the us army says that ten can be left alone, twelve can babysit, thirteen can babysit infants. i might be wrong. hope this helps
my mom leaves my sis alone sometimes (she's 10 also) she calls and checks up on her if she is gone more than an hour though. I agree with you..they have to be independent at some point..start "weening" them now.
You know your child better than any of us! It would probably be good if you could speak to a couple of neighbours, that way if something happens or he gets worried he could knock on a neighbours door.
I've been going shopping and leaving my son (for short periods) since about the age of 10 but he did get panicked one time so now he knows he can knock on any one of 4 doors if he wants to. He never has but its peace of mind for both of us!
Contrary to popular belief, there is no true minimum age for when kids can be left alone (Obviously we're not talking infant or toddler age here, folks.) --12 is just a general guideline. It depends on the child and their own maturity level. It depends on how long they were left and how they were left, etc. I've seen cases reported about 8 -10 year olds left alone for an hour or so have nothing done and I've seen Social Services step in for other children around the same age.
It sounds you were very responsible on how you left him. You said this was early evening? I hope still daylight.kids can get scared easily during the dark.
I honestly think 10 is too young to be left alone, how ever mature they may appear.
hi,i think no one knows their child like their mother does.i have 5 sons,ages range from 10 to 18.some responsibility's i wouldn't give my eldest but would give to my 14yr old.it depends on ow they are brought up to start with,i personally wouldn't leave my 10yr old,each to their own
my daughter is 11 and i also leave her home alone for short periods - we have a set of guidelines that she follows such as not answering the door or house phone, how to contact me and that i will only contact her via her mobile - we do have family in both neighbouring streets and a strong network of friends so i feel completely confident in leaving her - in fact she's probably safer home alone than when out playing , unfortunately - trust your instincts - you know your son capabilities and yes i think they relish the independence
Hi i believe it is legal to leave a child over 9 for short periods upon the parents decision to wether the child is responsible enough,,, however it leaves the parent responsible for any think that may go wrong,,,, if your son is responsible in your eyes then there is no problem in that for short periods of up to an hour or two i would say but only if you trust in your son to feel safe, be sensible etc.
For such a short period I don't think what you did was a massive problem but I wouldn't do it again just yet and bear in mind it isn't legal to leave your child unsupervised (do think it might be even older than 12) and I know if you were getting a babysitter they have to be over 14 to be left in charge. I would be sure he knows what to do if someone comes to the door etc. and (as happened with my nephew once) make sure he's not prey to so-called mates finding out you're not there (even for a little while) and then crashing the place!
I think it's invaluble to start teaching children responsibities in lots of ways gradually from an early age as I know it's a cliche but its true that if you coddle and tighten the reins too much they'll only rebel. I think it's good you're aware of this and doubt very much you're an irresponsible parent! I'm sure you're aware there are many who wouldn't have even thought twice about it all! If you talk to him about it all I think he'll respect you more for caring that he has his 'own life' and space.
I have a son and my mind goes loopy over what's best to do with so many things! I can see myself coming on here many times over the next few years for advice!
Good luck! :-D
As you have already stated there is no law in the UK stating the age a child has to be before being left unattended. I think it was fine for you to leave your son for a short while. You know your son best and felt you were able to trust him on his own. Me and my sister were left at home around that age while our Mum popped out. She always told our neighbour and if we had any problems we could knock on her door. I don't think 10 is too soon to be left alone for an hour or so. Anything longer I would get a babysitter especially in the evening.
We live on a military base and our community standards say that children can start being on their own for short periods of time beginning at age 10. Also, I back when I was 10 I was already babysitting for neighbors. I think there is nothing wrong with what you did. You left him a number. I assume he knows the rules. You were only gone for a short time. I don't think you did anything wrong.
It's alright, so long as your kid is responsible, ie. doesn't play with matches, or try and make fish and chips. I was going home at lunch for an hour and after school for about 3 hours when I was 7. Sandwiches in the fridge and cookies in the tin, don't touch the stove or play with matches or I'll beat you stupid, that's my dad used to say. Needless to say getting beat stupid didn't sound very appealing. I always called my moe when I got home too, so they knew I was there.
Legal age is actually 13 to be left unattended in the UK,same age as when they can be left baby-sitting and get a paper round etc.It`s not exactly unusual for some parents to do this though.Some even work and leave their kids at home off sick unattended.Nearly an hour`s too long,and it`s worse if they have younger siblings.Do what we all have to do and take Him with You.I bet He likes to be left alone.who wouldn`t ? That`s why He`s Your child/responsibility and Your His parent.Independence is letting Him go to the shop alone etc
I am assuming you are a single parent...if so...here is my answer
I was a single parent from my sons 2 month birthday....everything... I mean everything and EVERY decision I made...like such was based on my educated opinion on my sons current maturity level at the time. I raised my son to be fiercely independent..and armored him with the knowledge & education to make decisiions responsibley. I will cut this short...We ...My self and my son...were a very successful "LATCHKEY" Family..I Educated myself..on what to educate him about . AND I absolutely NEVER used this as convenient freee babysitting..You know you child..can he or shge take on the world all alone......Here let me get you started....You know your child ,,,, yourself, and the situation...DO you think YOU handled this first time test of independence and seperation as well as your 10 year old. ? Do you lack the confidence in tyoour childs abillity to be responsibley andsafely left alone..or do you lack the confidenxe iyoiur syccess in instilling responsibility and independence in you child. Both of you MUST act responsibley ,,,,,eacg abd evert time you make this decision. Remember...you are the parent.and the child is ...in fact..a child armed only with the ammo you supplied him with.. One day at a time..Sweety !!! Together.. !!!thats the way you will both make this work!
I think it's perfectly fine to leave a responsible 10 yo home for 45 minutes. Some kids that age may not be ready for it, but you know your own son and if you think it's ok, then it is.
i might leave my 10yr old but for no longer than say 10 mins, i personally wouldnt be comfortable with any longer..i would be thinking about what if someone comes to the door, /he has an accident/ his friend calls for him to play out etc.but like you say there is no legal age ,however if you leave someone under 16 alone ,you remain legally responsible for anything that happens
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