Pregnancy help crisis oh my god!!?
ok jus found out my friend is pregnant, she dont want it but is to scared to do anythin about it, and im tryin to help her see things clearly and get her to get it sorted, i know i cant force her but since she wants to get rid of it what can i do to help, i dont want to see her chuck her life away on somethin unplanned!! but she keeps sayin she is too scared to sort it out, help me i dunno wot to do, how can i persuade her?
Answers:
Sounds to me like she's planning suicide. There's only one way that I deal with suicidal people. Make them tough.
Tell her to quit being childish and selfish. She knew what sex was for, and yet she did it anyway. Something unplanned? By having sex she was PLANNING to get pregnant. How can she not see this? Tell her to toughen up and live the life she's planned for herself. Then, make sure she doesn't commit suicide, as soon as your back is turned. Stick with her, and be the friend she needs right now. Getting the father involved might help too. You know him better than I do, you make that choice. But he has a right to know about this eventually.
Poor children.
Tell her to give it up for adoption--there are tons of people in this world who would give anything for a baby.
Tell her parents. That is all you can do and that is what you should do.
Adoption.
Whoooppsss,
It takes 2 to tango.
Well, you need to let her make the choice on her own. If she wants to keep it, she can. It is her's, not yours. Just be there to support her, whatever she decides to do.
Whoa! Take a deep breath.
Okay, how old is your friend? Is she a minor? What about the boy who got her pregnant -- Can he help? How about her parents?
Any way you can encourage her to seek counseling before making a decision? It is her RIGHT to choose, but she needs to think with a clear head and make her decision with a clear conscience.
You cant and shouldn't persuade her!! Its her body and only she can make that decision..leaver her to it!
well, if you are the father, do you want the baby? what ever you do be kind to your friend.
it helps!
Go to her Doctor , she has a right to confidentiality so if she's frightened of what her parents might say , make sure the Doctor knows you will complain if he informs the parents .
She cannot go through this on her own and i think you are both quite young , she needs adult advice and care .
you can't really persuade her to get rid of a baby because after she has had it done she may blame you for it, you can only support her and point out all of her options
Tell her that the longer she waits the less time there is to decide what to do. Tell her to go to her GP- it's confidentail or if she doesn't- tell her to go to a family planning clinic like Brook- they wll give advice and help.
All you can do is be her friend the decision is hers you should just support her no matter what if she wants it I wouldnt consider that throwing her life away! She can always give it up for adoption too
there really is nothing you can do except find a local planned parenthood and get her there fast before its to late to chose an abortion if that is an option for her due to beliefs she could also get a hold of an adoption agency and carry the baby to full term and have an arranged open adoption where she can still be part of the childs life but give it up for adoption and not have the responsibility. there are plenty of couplwes waiting for a baby who wuld be more than happy to raise her child. The best thing you can do is be a friend don't be judgemental she is scared and needs your strong head because her mind has left the building so to speak.
Abortion Alternatives
However, no matter what her political persuasion, it always comes down to a very intimate, personal decision that no woman makes without some degree of emotional trauma. All of the options -- abortion, or raising the baby, or allowing another family to adopt the baby -- can carry emotional pain and personal sacrifice. But what you usually don't find in any abortion information, either pro or con, is a clear statement of what God offers this woman. He has something to say to her in the midst of her pain and confusion.
You see, God does not need to weigh the pros and cons of abortion. He is larger than our confined spaces and limited views. He sees situations from the vantage point of what he can do for those who will turn to him. So to the woman who is considering an abortion, he might want her to hear his heart: "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."1
When the Bible says that God is "good to all; he has compassion on all he has made," that means he is able to be good to both, to be compassionate to both the woman and the baby.
Abortion Options
The woman may feel she is in a trapped, polarized position. Either she can be compassionate to herself, given all her circumstances, and have the abortion; or she can be compassionate to the baby, allowing it to be born.
Yet God says he is "good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." If he is able to be good to both, to be compassionate to both the woman and the baby, he must have solutions we don't see. Because God is more than capable of doing what he says, it becomes clear why he says, "Do not kill." Rather, God must know that if the woman will look to him to provide, he is capable of meeting her needs and the baby's needs.
It is God's character to respond to those who will turn to him and obey him. "The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."2 For those who will look to God, he offers to meet their needs.
Other Abortion Information
The abortion information may not mention it, but consider this: "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him."3 Fear him? It means to reverence Him. Those who fear God are those who acknowledge him as God over their lives and that he is God over the life of the baby also. He is rightfully God, and not ourselves. "He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."
Will God really hear this woman's prayer if she seeks to follow him? Yes. "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."4
Is it hard to do what is right? It would be if she were totally on her own. If all the work, all the effort, all future for her life remained solely on her shoulders, then often doing what it right seems impossible. But God says we are not alone. We are not isolated in this world. A lot of abortion information neglects to mention that he is there. And he is so strong, so capable. "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's might hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."5
The Best of Abortion Options
In the midst of tiring debates on the pros and cons of abortion, God is there, asking the woman in turmoil to turn to him, that he may show his compassion on all that he has made. Here is abortion information that God may want her to know: He will lift her up, meet her needs and her baby's needs, if she will let him be her God.
To find out how to know God in a personal way, go here.
God often meets our needs through people who want to help. For support in your pregnancy, please check out these sites:
www.pregnancycenters.org
www.heartbeatinternational.org
www.birthright.org
1 Psalms 145:8-9
2 Psalms 145:15-16
3 Psalms 145:18-19
4 1 Peter 3:12
5 1 Peter 5:5-7
Don't persuade her cause if she makes the wrong decision then she will blame you and you wont be there to be her friend when she will need you the most. Get her to go to a GP and talk about her options.
Don't listen to everyone who says adoption, that would be the hardest thing to do i mean how can you give something up you have just carried for 9 months? it is impossible as i know because i was once there myself. I was 16 and get pregnant and i went straight to my parents although they were dissapointed with me at first they were really supportive with my decision to have an abortion which i know was the right choice for me now. i'm 24 and a model and i know that if i had of kept the baby i would have nothing, no job, no money, no career. I hope your friend finds the support she needs, she can also talk to her doctor who will point her in the right direction of an abortion clinic or social services, depending on her final decision, just be positive for her and tell her she is not on her own. x x
all u can do is be there 4 her no matter what she decides maybe u could take the bull by the horns an tell ur mam see what she thinks about the situation she might be able to calm her down so she can think properly how old is she? how do you think her parents will react? what about the father? she needs to think of all of this an realise her options there is alot of options out there now. if she is thinking about having it she needs to be taking folic acid tabs. best of luck everything will b fine
confess to her parents that's all she can do!!
you don't.. do not try to persuade her ..u have no idea what its like to have people pressurising you either way in that situation.. you need to listen to HER thoughts and support her,its HER decision, just be a friend,not an added pressure..all you can do is keep reminding her of the time limit on her decision,but be tactful and don't rush her..and most importantly,don't judge her..
just call the clinic for her and then take her there.
once she gets there if she really doesnt want it, the abortion will be sitting right there for her to take it or leave it
this same thing happened to my friend and I did it for her. we went, she had the abortion. all over and done with
I was scared and we were planning the pregnancy. There are soooo many people out there that would do anything to be able to have a baby. A lot of those people are people who had abortions in the past and cannot conceive because of scar tissue in the uterus. (abortionists don't like to tell you about that). I would consider adoption. It is so easy for somebody to just run into a clinic and kill it. That is something that will haunt her and she will regret it forever. This baby deserves a life to live and it can be loved by somebody if not by her.
One word
contraception!!!
Get her to the Family Planning Clinic ASAP. That way, she wont have to see anyone she knows (like her GP) but there will be a doctor there to confirm the pregnancy and give the first approval for a termination. They will sort everything out, tell her where to go, who to see and make her next appointment. You will be able to go with her and dont forget to reassure her that they deal with this situation every day! They will explain every step after that, and everything is arranged very quickly! The earlier she sees someone, the less likely she is to have to have a termination, as in very early pregnancy they can use medication to cause a miscarrige! I have worked for the FPC in a local community hospital which is why I know so much. Good Luck and please let me know how everything turns out!
First of all, 'get rid of it' ? As of this moment, the rest of her life is irrevocably changed, no matter what she decides to do. Live with the regret of abortion, the possibility of regreting an adoption, accepting the hard responsibility of single parenthood, these are decisions SHE must make. You can't persuade her, you can't make the decision for her.
Best thing to do, she needs to address the situation with a clear mind. Suggest she do some deep soul searching and get a good night's rest. Maybe she could write down her 3 options and list the pro's and con's of each.
A couple of thoughts, some of the best things in life are unplanned and sometimes unplanned things plan us. I've got a house full of unplanned and wouldn't change them for the world. Neither would my hubby. For her, right now, having a baby might seem to be the end of the world, but it never is. It's the beginning of a new one.
HAVE HER GET ADVISE ABOUT GIVING BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. iF SHE HAS AN ABORTION SHE WILL REGRET IT LATER AND IT COULD RUIN HER CHANCES OF HOLDING A BABY TO TERM LATER DOWN THE LINE WHEN SHE IS READY FOR KIDS. aDOPTION IS WONDERFUL. SHE WILL KEEP A CHILD ALIVE WHILE GIVING IT A GOOD HOME WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOADS OF LOVE TO GIVE BUT CAN NOT HAVE KIDS NATURALLY
There are many stories about girls who leave it too late to do anything about an unplanned pregnancy because they are too scared to face it. I don't know what it is you want her to do? What does she want?
I think the first thing to do is make an appointment with a gp. One step at a time might be the answer. Get some help. She's in a state of panic and can't think clearly.
DONT GO 4 ABORTION GO 4 ADOPTION!!!!!!!! THERE R MILLIONS OUT THERE WHO WANT A BABY!!!!!!! WHEN SHE SEES HER BABY SHE WILL PROBABLY WANT IT ANYWAYS!!!!!
GOOD LUK!!!!!
an abortion is only a tablet these days so she's not gonna go through any pain. if she's worried she's going to regret it then thats for her to live with. i don't think anythig u say will change her mind. if she feels that bad she can always go and get pregnant again.
Get her to go to her GP. Say you'll go with her if necessary as she sounds as if she needs alot of moral support. if she's worried about what they will think or what they will do as a check up ask for a female doctor. Locums are also good, normally fresh out of training and young enough to be compassionate without appearing condersending (no offense to older doctors, it's just someone closer to her age may be easier to talk to).
If she's like me and her family is well known at the practice she can always go to another as a visitor or find out if there is a local family planning clinic or something similar.
Does she have an Aunt, grandparent or a close family friend you can both got to? If she is under 16 you really ought to tell her parents, although this can be absolutly terrifying, as she's probably feeling that she's let them down and how they will react. most of the time, parents, once they have got over the shock, are amazingly supportive.
Also, many magazines and websites have alot of infomation about this.Try this site: http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/index.p.
It's actually a site for parents who have teenage daughters who are pregnant but there are some greally useful links on there.
At the end of the day, it's her choice and her body, but this is definalty something that isn't going to go away by ignoring it, its only going to get bigger. Literally. She's scared, confused and desperate for an easy solution. Unfortuantly there isn't one for this.
Good luck.
whats the name of the free book from the government which you get given about pregnancy?
How long can I give a 5 month old baby unfinished juice for before i have to throw it out and make a fresh cup
Can anyone recommend a book please? - Its a tricky one!?
Could you ever walk away from your own child?
the show?
4 weeks old baby wont sleep?
How long does it take for the sperm to enter the egg to get pregnant?
When you have a scan for down's syndrome..?
Answers:
Sounds to me like she's planning suicide. There's only one way that I deal with suicidal people. Make them tough.
Tell her to quit being childish and selfish. She knew what sex was for, and yet she did it anyway. Something unplanned? By having sex she was PLANNING to get pregnant. How can she not see this? Tell her to toughen up and live the life she's planned for herself. Then, make sure she doesn't commit suicide, as soon as your back is turned. Stick with her, and be the friend she needs right now. Getting the father involved might help too. You know him better than I do, you make that choice. But he has a right to know about this eventually.
Poor children.
Tell her to give it up for adoption--there are tons of people in this world who would give anything for a baby.
Tell her parents. That is all you can do and that is what you should do.
Adoption.
Whoooppsss,
It takes 2 to tango.
Well, you need to let her make the choice on her own. If she wants to keep it, she can. It is her's, not yours. Just be there to support her, whatever she decides to do.
Whoa! Take a deep breath.
Okay, how old is your friend? Is she a minor? What about the boy who got her pregnant -- Can he help? How about her parents?
Any way you can encourage her to seek counseling before making a decision? It is her RIGHT to choose, but she needs to think with a clear head and make her decision with a clear conscience.
You cant and shouldn't persuade her!! Its her body and only she can make that decision..leaver her to it!
well, if you are the father, do you want the baby? what ever you do be kind to your friend.
it helps!
Go to her Doctor , she has a right to confidentiality so if she's frightened of what her parents might say , make sure the Doctor knows you will complain if he informs the parents .
She cannot go through this on her own and i think you are both quite young , she needs adult advice and care .
you can't really persuade her to get rid of a baby because after she has had it done she may blame you for it, you can only support her and point out all of her options
Tell her that the longer she waits the less time there is to decide what to do. Tell her to go to her GP- it's confidentail or if she doesn't- tell her to go to a family planning clinic like Brook- they wll give advice and help.
All you can do is be her friend the decision is hers you should just support her no matter what if she wants it I wouldnt consider that throwing her life away! She can always give it up for adoption too
there really is nothing you can do except find a local planned parenthood and get her there fast before its to late to chose an abortion if that is an option for her due to beliefs she could also get a hold of an adoption agency and carry the baby to full term and have an arranged open adoption where she can still be part of the childs life but give it up for adoption and not have the responsibility. there are plenty of couplwes waiting for a baby who wuld be more than happy to raise her child. The best thing you can do is be a friend don't be judgemental she is scared and needs your strong head because her mind has left the building so to speak.
Abortion Alternatives
However, no matter what her political persuasion, it always comes down to a very intimate, personal decision that no woman makes without some degree of emotional trauma. All of the options -- abortion, or raising the baby, or allowing another family to adopt the baby -- can carry emotional pain and personal sacrifice. But what you usually don't find in any abortion information, either pro or con, is a clear statement of what God offers this woman. He has something to say to her in the midst of her pain and confusion.
You see, God does not need to weigh the pros and cons of abortion. He is larger than our confined spaces and limited views. He sees situations from the vantage point of what he can do for those who will turn to him. So to the woman who is considering an abortion, he might want her to hear his heart: "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."1
When the Bible says that God is "good to all; he has compassion on all he has made," that means he is able to be good to both, to be compassionate to both the woman and the baby.
Abortion Options
The woman may feel she is in a trapped, polarized position. Either she can be compassionate to herself, given all her circumstances, and have the abortion; or she can be compassionate to the baby, allowing it to be born.
Yet God says he is "good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." If he is able to be good to both, to be compassionate to both the woman and the baby, he must have solutions we don't see. Because God is more than capable of doing what he says, it becomes clear why he says, "Do not kill." Rather, God must know that if the woman will look to him to provide, he is capable of meeting her needs and the baby's needs.
It is God's character to respond to those who will turn to him and obey him. "The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."2 For those who will look to God, he offers to meet their needs.
Other Abortion Information
The abortion information may not mention it, but consider this: "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him."3 Fear him? It means to reverence Him. Those who fear God are those who acknowledge him as God over their lives and that he is God over the life of the baby also. He is rightfully God, and not ourselves. "He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."
Will God really hear this woman's prayer if she seeks to follow him? Yes. "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."4
Is it hard to do what is right? It would be if she were totally on her own. If all the work, all the effort, all future for her life remained solely on her shoulders, then often doing what it right seems impossible. But God says we are not alone. We are not isolated in this world. A lot of abortion information neglects to mention that he is there. And he is so strong, so capable. "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's might hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."5
The Best of Abortion Options
In the midst of tiring debates on the pros and cons of abortion, God is there, asking the woman in turmoil to turn to him, that he may show his compassion on all that he has made. Here is abortion information that God may want her to know: He will lift her up, meet her needs and her baby's needs, if she will let him be her God.
To find out how to know God in a personal way, go here.
God often meets our needs through people who want to help. For support in your pregnancy, please check out these sites:
www.pregnancycenters.org
www.heartbeatinternational.org
www.birthright.org
1 Psalms 145:8-9
2 Psalms 145:15-16
3 Psalms 145:18-19
4 1 Peter 3:12
5 1 Peter 5:5-7
Don't persuade her cause if she makes the wrong decision then she will blame you and you wont be there to be her friend when she will need you the most. Get her to go to a GP and talk about her options.
Don't listen to everyone who says adoption, that would be the hardest thing to do i mean how can you give something up you have just carried for 9 months? it is impossible as i know because i was once there myself. I was 16 and get pregnant and i went straight to my parents although they were dissapointed with me at first they were really supportive with my decision to have an abortion which i know was the right choice for me now. i'm 24 and a model and i know that if i had of kept the baby i would have nothing, no job, no money, no career. I hope your friend finds the support she needs, she can also talk to her doctor who will point her in the right direction of an abortion clinic or social services, depending on her final decision, just be positive for her and tell her she is not on her own. x x
all u can do is be there 4 her no matter what she decides maybe u could take the bull by the horns an tell ur mam see what she thinks about the situation she might be able to calm her down so she can think properly how old is she? how do you think her parents will react? what about the father? she needs to think of all of this an realise her options there is alot of options out there now. if she is thinking about having it she needs to be taking folic acid tabs. best of luck everything will b fine
confess to her parents that's all she can do!!
you don't.. do not try to persuade her ..u have no idea what its like to have people pressurising you either way in that situation.. you need to listen to HER thoughts and support her,its HER decision, just be a friend,not an added pressure..all you can do is keep reminding her of the time limit on her decision,but be tactful and don't rush her..and most importantly,don't judge her..
just call the clinic for her and then take her there.
once she gets there if she really doesnt want it, the abortion will be sitting right there for her to take it or leave it
this same thing happened to my friend and I did it for her. we went, she had the abortion. all over and done with
I was scared and we were planning the pregnancy. There are soooo many people out there that would do anything to be able to have a baby. A lot of those people are people who had abortions in the past and cannot conceive because of scar tissue in the uterus. (abortionists don't like to tell you about that). I would consider adoption. It is so easy for somebody to just run into a clinic and kill it. That is something that will haunt her and she will regret it forever. This baby deserves a life to live and it can be loved by somebody if not by her.
One word
contraception!!!
Get her to the Family Planning Clinic ASAP. That way, she wont have to see anyone she knows (like her GP) but there will be a doctor there to confirm the pregnancy and give the first approval for a termination. They will sort everything out, tell her where to go, who to see and make her next appointment. You will be able to go with her and dont forget to reassure her that they deal with this situation every day! They will explain every step after that, and everything is arranged very quickly! The earlier she sees someone, the less likely she is to have to have a termination, as in very early pregnancy they can use medication to cause a miscarrige! I have worked for the FPC in a local community hospital which is why I know so much. Good Luck and please let me know how everything turns out!
First of all, 'get rid of it' ? As of this moment, the rest of her life is irrevocably changed, no matter what she decides to do. Live with the regret of abortion, the possibility of regreting an adoption, accepting the hard responsibility of single parenthood, these are decisions SHE must make. You can't persuade her, you can't make the decision for her.
Best thing to do, she needs to address the situation with a clear mind. Suggest she do some deep soul searching and get a good night's rest. Maybe she could write down her 3 options and list the pro's and con's of each.
A couple of thoughts, some of the best things in life are unplanned and sometimes unplanned things plan us. I've got a house full of unplanned and wouldn't change them for the world. Neither would my hubby. For her, right now, having a baby might seem to be the end of the world, but it never is. It's the beginning of a new one.
HAVE HER GET ADVISE ABOUT GIVING BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. iF SHE HAS AN ABORTION SHE WILL REGRET IT LATER AND IT COULD RUIN HER CHANCES OF HOLDING A BABY TO TERM LATER DOWN THE LINE WHEN SHE IS READY FOR KIDS. aDOPTION IS WONDERFUL. SHE WILL KEEP A CHILD ALIVE WHILE GIVING IT A GOOD HOME WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOADS OF LOVE TO GIVE BUT CAN NOT HAVE KIDS NATURALLY
There are many stories about girls who leave it too late to do anything about an unplanned pregnancy because they are too scared to face it. I don't know what it is you want her to do? What does she want?
I think the first thing to do is make an appointment with a gp. One step at a time might be the answer. Get some help. She's in a state of panic and can't think clearly.
DONT GO 4 ABORTION GO 4 ADOPTION!!!!!!!! THERE R MILLIONS OUT THERE WHO WANT A BABY!!!!!!! WHEN SHE SEES HER BABY SHE WILL PROBABLY WANT IT ANYWAYS!!!!!
GOOD LUK!!!!!
an abortion is only a tablet these days so she's not gonna go through any pain. if she's worried she's going to regret it then thats for her to live with. i don't think anythig u say will change her mind. if she feels that bad she can always go and get pregnant again.
Get her to go to her GP. Say you'll go with her if necessary as she sounds as if she needs alot of moral support. if she's worried about what they will think or what they will do as a check up ask for a female doctor. Locums are also good, normally fresh out of training and young enough to be compassionate without appearing condersending (no offense to older doctors, it's just someone closer to her age may be easier to talk to).
If she's like me and her family is well known at the practice she can always go to another as a visitor or find out if there is a local family planning clinic or something similar.
Does she have an Aunt, grandparent or a close family friend you can both got to? If she is under 16 you really ought to tell her parents, although this can be absolutly terrifying, as she's probably feeling that she's let them down and how they will react. most of the time, parents, once they have got over the shock, are amazingly supportive.
Also, many magazines and websites have alot of infomation about this.Try this site: http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/index.p.
It's actually a site for parents who have teenage daughters who are pregnant but there are some greally useful links on there.
At the end of the day, it's her choice and her body, but this is definalty something that isn't going to go away by ignoring it, its only going to get bigger. Literally. She's scared, confused and desperate for an easy solution. Unfortuantly there isn't one for this.
Good luck.
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