Would you confront the parent of your child's bully?
My son is 13 and on the Autistic scale. He goes to a mainstream school.
He is bullied daily by a group of lads in his class. We have been to the school several times and demanded that they sort this out.
I see one of the main perpitrators parents when I pick up my son from school.
I want to tell them to get their son to leave mine alone.but I fear I may lose my temper..has anyone done this?
What happened, or would you confront a bully's parent?
Answers:
I would definately confront the parent(s). I think you should also go to the school board if they aren't protecting your child. You should advocate for a zero tolerance bullying policy.
HELL YA!
The school has a duty of care over your son. Tell them that and they will have to do something.
Confronting a bully's parent probably isn't the best idea in the world as no parent wants to think that their child is a bully!
If you have tried to go through the school and it has not been resolved, I would definetly talk to the parents. Don't lose your temper, because that will only hurt your cause. If they see you with compassion they will be much more likely to help you. If you make them mad or insult them, they will not be very helpful to you. Good luck.
Yes, and tell them you will sue them for harrassment of your son. It's too bad you can't just beat the **** out those fuckers like the olden days.
As the school aren't being seen to do anything then I would definitely confront the parents, but please, please control your temper
i would tell the parents straight, threaten them with the police, school board etc if their kids carry on
I would certainly confront. I would try to be civil but if I did lose my temper, so be it.
SCHOOL PRINCIPAL/ADMIN IS PAID TO MAINTAIN SCTY AND PEACE.
NOT YOU.. YOU REPORT IT TO THEM AND THEY TAKE ACTION..
IF THEY DON'T YOU FILE A COMPLAINT WITH SCHOOL BOARD. OR EVEN WITH LOCAL POLICE...
DO NOT TAKE IT UP WITH PARENTS...
my sister has had to go up to her sons school for the same thing.. may sound mean, but i guess us parents will have to take matters on our own.. the school never seems to care whats going on any more..
I would most definitely confront his parents. I would be very direct, but nice. I wuold get the point across to them that if it continues you will seek a higher source. They may not be aware of their child bullying yours, and may be the bullying will stop once they are confronted with the problem. Keep your cool though, and stay on top of things like you have been doing. There is not one thing wrong with you wanting to handle the situation.
I doubt approaching his parents will solve much, and may make the problem worse. I'm assuming the parents of the bullies probably really don't give a flip about their child, so why would they care if he's picking on someone. Even if they did care, if the child is bullying, he probably doesn't have an ounce of respect for his parents at this age, and won't listen. In fact, he might step up the pressure on your child.
Gosh that is a hard one. You want to but at the same time worry that it puts your kid in a worse place. Sometimes too the bully kids.have bully parents which will only make it worse.
If the kids parents don't seem that way maybe just try to have a friendly chat. Explain the situation like you did here, if it gets heated walk away. Hopefully she will be understanding and maybe speak to her son.without saying directly 'Stop picking on Mikey'. If the other parent could speak in general about bullying it might work.
Good luck.I worry about this with my 6 y.o. son.it hasn't happened yet but he is so sensitive that I am afraid other kids will see it as a weakness and pick on him.
Kids are mean.speak with you son and explain as best as you can to him. So hopefully he will stand up stronger against them.
very touchy situation.it could turn ugly
I would request that the school facilitate a meeting between you and the parents of the bullies. That way the meeting is monitored and the bullies parents can not act out - or accuse you of misbehavior..
hope that you find a solution quickly!
If you have continually tried to work with the school and have not been satisfied with the results, why couldn't you say something to the parent. It's possible the school has not contacted them to inform them of their child's behavior. I, personally, would want to know if my child was bullying another. Maybe there's a way to work it out between parents. Let's hope they aren't just like their kids!
you BET i would!
the school would have done something about it after the FIRST visit to them.
press charges on the person at the school you spoke with about the bullying. it didn't stop. it's the school's RESPSIBILITY to make sure your son is SAFE. they OBVIOUSLY haven't been doing their JOBS.
i would run into the school and (accidentally? ) run that kid over (BAM - head on concrete = bloody mess). then i would bend down (so others think i'm asking if he's o.k.) and tell him it will be worse the next time he even thinks of looking at or making fun of my child. then go into the school and report the bleeding kid. go potty (the whole reason for running in the first place).
yes. his mother watched the whole thing. stare her down!
I WOULD tell their parents. It's really mean of people to think that they can be mean to other people like that. We all have feelings. Help your son out. He'll be much happier.
I would confront them in a diplomatic way. Don't just walk over and start yelling at them, that won't achieve anything (chances are the parent in question knows nothing of the situation, how would you like if another parent confronted you in an aggressive manner). Calmly ask them if you can have a word, explain the situation and then state that you wanted to make them aware of it. The ball is then in their court.
If the school has done nothing to help, there are steps you can take. First see the head teacher. If nothing is resolved, bring the matter up to the school board. No results? Look up your nearest board for education or similar, depending where you live. Don't give in.
Ask to see the Headmaster/mistress and tell then how serious this is and you will give them a week to sort it out or you will get the police involved. Also Speak to the parents introduce yourself and explain that their son is amongst a group of children who are bullying your son. Stay calm if you get no joy there tell them you will be involving the police as well.
Never approach the parent directly, get the school to arrange a mutual appointment and make sure the school is represented. Have someone take the minutes and make a final report for all concerned. Do this everytime there is problem, trust me there will be no more than three meetings max and if there are you will win if anything ends up in court. You have every right to protect your child and if you do it right you will also protect others. One who knows trust me!
i certainly would, even if you arrange a meeting with teacher/head teacher too. needs knocking on the head NOW act fast
Yeah I would definity tell them.
I have not approached other parents - but my kid is not Autistic. My blood just boils to think that your child is being picked on daily by a group of kids.
You're right - you DON'T want to lose your temper. I think it would be best if you can approach the parent and tell them calmly - what's going on - and tell them that you know "boys will be boys" and all of that - but it's very disturbing and hard for your child. My guess is that they will more than likely be horrified that their child is behaving in this manner - especially towards a special needs child.
What's up with the school that they have not reprimanded these boys? If they refuse to do anything at the teacher level - go to the principal. If the principal doesn't help - go a step above him. Keep moving up until something is done OR they can show you in writing what their policy is on bullying and how they are doing all they are supposed to do according to the school district and the rules made by the school board.
I wish you luck & send you blessings!
First of all..do not confront.
confrontation is only asking for a problem
Tell the school that you want them to sit up a meeting between the bullies parents and the children at the school.
If need be tell the school your lawyer will be the next called if it is not done.
At this meeting do not become confrontational. Have the teachers and principal all come together and get this sorted out. Do not scream, demand, or use any type of bad language. Adults now need to sit down and talk not stand up and yell, that is what is already happening between the kids
If nothing is done..lawyer time
aww you have to confront the parents of the bully! explain to your son that next time you see the bullys parents your going to talk to them.And then when you see the parents just explain to them about your sons autism and tell them whats been happening.Im sure if ther decent people they will do everything they can to sort it out and it would be a good idea to get your son and the bully to shake hands infront of the parents and ask the bully to say sorry infront of his parents so he knows hes in big trouble! my nephew whos 9 years old has just been diagnosed as being autism so i no how upsetting it is and how hard it is for him,just stay calm and do it! i no if i were the bullys parents i wouldnt blame you if your scream and shouted! go for it! x
Try having a meeting with the bullies' parents in the headteacher's/principal's office. This way,the parents don't just interpret you as an angry mum hurling accusations because the principal will be there to back you up,and may even have documentation detailing the events.
Best of luck to you and your son.
Does the parent of the bully appear approachable?
I think I would have a word with the parent but not in an accusing way...maybe state that the group is making your child's life hell and that you are not pointing your finger directly at his/her son but that you are concerned about the effect the group's behaviour is having on your son. The school should have an anti-bullying policy and have no right to ignore the situation.
If it was my child I would first go through all the school has to offer. You could even go to district if you have to. If that didn't work, I was ask for a meeting with the parents. Maybe they don't even know that their kids are doing this. You could meet with the parents in the school office that way you know it's safe for all involved. I certainly wouldn't allow my temper to take over. My son gets bullied too because he's so little compared to the other students. Many times I speak to the teacher and that seems to stop it but he's still in grade school. I have contacted the school district before and got very satisfying results.
You probably should confront them, but never lose your cool. Remember to do your best to stay calm. Talk to them about their child, but do not insult their child in fron of them. Just tell them that their child does not properly treat yours.
If the school cannot resolve this, do it on your own. It's your kid's life and education which is at jeopardy. But I suggest that you talk to them, ask them about their child, what their child likes or hates, then you could advice your child to do these things so that the one who "was" once his enemy may become his friend.
Hope you're satisfied. Anyways. I haven't done it yet, but I've helped other parents talk to teachers and some parents too. :)
FIRST I WOULD GET MY SON SOME FRIENDS WITH HIM THEN CON FRONT HIM then BEAT THE ******* HELL OUT OF HIM!
Please don't confront the parents. Children learn their behaviors from the adults that they are around usually, and chances are the parents aren't going to be receptive to your concerns. They'll probably say "oh, they're just kids.or whatever."
Since the school isn't helping you out (and actually, what can they do.if they don't see it, and no one else is witnessing, it's his word against your sons), then go to the Youth officer at your local school. He can get involved by speaking to the parents of the bully as well as the bully himself. Chances are the 2 have already met. You have to do something, but your biggest priority is protecting your son. While not making excuses for the bully, does he (or any of his classmates) really understand what autism is and how it manifasts itsself? Victims, whose parents try to fix the problem, tend to be treated worse after the confrontation by the parent of the victim. Be careful. You may have to consider teaching your son to walk the other way and a really good counselor can help that.
School board could help, however again.without witnesses, it's he said/he said. Of course, if you hear it, you can speak to the kid yourself, but that has consequences too. Good luck to you sweetie. I feel for what you're going through. My daughter was the victim of a nasty rumor that got out of control. Fortunately, it's over now and she's in a really good place in her life, but as her parent, it hurt and gave the feeling of total helplessness. I wish you the best of luck in resolving this issue.
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My 3yr old has started pinching and being agressive, any ideas what to do?
He is bullied daily by a group of lads in his class. We have been to the school several times and demanded that they sort this out.
I see one of the main perpitrators parents when I pick up my son from school.
I want to tell them to get their son to leave mine alone.but I fear I may lose my temper..has anyone done this?
What happened, or would you confront a bully's parent?
Answers:
I would definately confront the parent(s). I think you should also go to the school board if they aren't protecting your child. You should advocate for a zero tolerance bullying policy.
HELL YA!
The school has a duty of care over your son. Tell them that and they will have to do something.
Confronting a bully's parent probably isn't the best idea in the world as no parent wants to think that their child is a bully!
If you have tried to go through the school and it has not been resolved, I would definetly talk to the parents. Don't lose your temper, because that will only hurt your cause. If they see you with compassion they will be much more likely to help you. If you make them mad or insult them, they will not be very helpful to you. Good luck.
Yes, and tell them you will sue them for harrassment of your son. It's too bad you can't just beat the **** out those fuckers like the olden days.
As the school aren't being seen to do anything then I would definitely confront the parents, but please, please control your temper
i would tell the parents straight, threaten them with the police, school board etc if their kids carry on
I would certainly confront. I would try to be civil but if I did lose my temper, so be it.
SCHOOL PRINCIPAL/ADMIN IS PAID TO MAINTAIN SCTY AND PEACE.
NOT YOU.. YOU REPORT IT TO THEM AND THEY TAKE ACTION..
IF THEY DON'T YOU FILE A COMPLAINT WITH SCHOOL BOARD. OR EVEN WITH LOCAL POLICE...
DO NOT TAKE IT UP WITH PARENTS...
my sister has had to go up to her sons school for the same thing.. may sound mean, but i guess us parents will have to take matters on our own.. the school never seems to care whats going on any more..
I would most definitely confront his parents. I would be very direct, but nice. I wuold get the point across to them that if it continues you will seek a higher source. They may not be aware of their child bullying yours, and may be the bullying will stop once they are confronted with the problem. Keep your cool though, and stay on top of things like you have been doing. There is not one thing wrong with you wanting to handle the situation.
I doubt approaching his parents will solve much, and may make the problem worse. I'm assuming the parents of the bullies probably really don't give a flip about their child, so why would they care if he's picking on someone. Even if they did care, if the child is bullying, he probably doesn't have an ounce of respect for his parents at this age, and won't listen. In fact, he might step up the pressure on your child.
Gosh that is a hard one. You want to but at the same time worry that it puts your kid in a worse place. Sometimes too the bully kids.have bully parents which will only make it worse.
If the kids parents don't seem that way maybe just try to have a friendly chat. Explain the situation like you did here, if it gets heated walk away. Hopefully she will be understanding and maybe speak to her son.without saying directly 'Stop picking on Mikey'. If the other parent could speak in general about bullying it might work.
Good luck.I worry about this with my 6 y.o. son.it hasn't happened yet but he is so sensitive that I am afraid other kids will see it as a weakness and pick on him.
Kids are mean.speak with you son and explain as best as you can to him. So hopefully he will stand up stronger against them.
very touchy situation.it could turn ugly
I would request that the school facilitate a meeting between you and the parents of the bullies. That way the meeting is monitored and the bullies parents can not act out - or accuse you of misbehavior..
hope that you find a solution quickly!
If you have continually tried to work with the school and have not been satisfied with the results, why couldn't you say something to the parent. It's possible the school has not contacted them to inform them of their child's behavior. I, personally, would want to know if my child was bullying another. Maybe there's a way to work it out between parents. Let's hope they aren't just like their kids!
you BET i would!
the school would have done something about it after the FIRST visit to them.
press charges on the person at the school you spoke with about the bullying. it didn't stop. it's the school's RESPSIBILITY to make sure your son is SAFE. they OBVIOUSLY haven't been doing their JOBS.
i would run into the school and (accidentally? ) run that kid over (BAM - head on concrete = bloody mess). then i would bend down (so others think i'm asking if he's o.k.) and tell him it will be worse the next time he even thinks of looking at or making fun of my child. then go into the school and report the bleeding kid. go potty (the whole reason for running in the first place).
yes. his mother watched the whole thing. stare her down!
I WOULD tell their parents. It's really mean of people to think that they can be mean to other people like that. We all have feelings. Help your son out. He'll be much happier.
I would confront them in a diplomatic way. Don't just walk over and start yelling at them, that won't achieve anything (chances are the parent in question knows nothing of the situation, how would you like if another parent confronted you in an aggressive manner). Calmly ask them if you can have a word, explain the situation and then state that you wanted to make them aware of it. The ball is then in their court.
If the school has done nothing to help, there are steps you can take. First see the head teacher. If nothing is resolved, bring the matter up to the school board. No results? Look up your nearest board for education or similar, depending where you live. Don't give in.
Ask to see the Headmaster/mistress and tell then how serious this is and you will give them a week to sort it out or you will get the police involved. Also Speak to the parents introduce yourself and explain that their son is amongst a group of children who are bullying your son. Stay calm if you get no joy there tell them you will be involving the police as well.
Never approach the parent directly, get the school to arrange a mutual appointment and make sure the school is represented. Have someone take the minutes and make a final report for all concerned. Do this everytime there is problem, trust me there will be no more than three meetings max and if there are you will win if anything ends up in court. You have every right to protect your child and if you do it right you will also protect others. One who knows trust me!
i certainly would, even if you arrange a meeting with teacher/head teacher too. needs knocking on the head NOW act fast
Yeah I would definity tell them.
I have not approached other parents - but my kid is not Autistic. My blood just boils to think that your child is being picked on daily by a group of kids.
You're right - you DON'T want to lose your temper. I think it would be best if you can approach the parent and tell them calmly - what's going on - and tell them that you know "boys will be boys" and all of that - but it's very disturbing and hard for your child. My guess is that they will more than likely be horrified that their child is behaving in this manner - especially towards a special needs child.
What's up with the school that they have not reprimanded these boys? If they refuse to do anything at the teacher level - go to the principal. If the principal doesn't help - go a step above him. Keep moving up until something is done OR they can show you in writing what their policy is on bullying and how they are doing all they are supposed to do according to the school district and the rules made by the school board.
I wish you luck & send you blessings!
First of all..do not confront.
confrontation is only asking for a problem
Tell the school that you want them to sit up a meeting between the bullies parents and the children at the school.
If need be tell the school your lawyer will be the next called if it is not done.
At this meeting do not become confrontational. Have the teachers and principal all come together and get this sorted out. Do not scream, demand, or use any type of bad language. Adults now need to sit down and talk not stand up and yell, that is what is already happening between the kids
If nothing is done..lawyer time
aww you have to confront the parents of the bully! explain to your son that next time you see the bullys parents your going to talk to them.And then when you see the parents just explain to them about your sons autism and tell them whats been happening.Im sure if ther decent people they will do everything they can to sort it out and it would be a good idea to get your son and the bully to shake hands infront of the parents and ask the bully to say sorry infront of his parents so he knows hes in big trouble! my nephew whos 9 years old has just been diagnosed as being autism so i no how upsetting it is and how hard it is for him,just stay calm and do it! i no if i were the bullys parents i wouldnt blame you if your scream and shouted! go for it! x
Try having a meeting with the bullies' parents in the headteacher's/principal's office. This way,the parents don't just interpret you as an angry mum hurling accusations because the principal will be there to back you up,and may even have documentation detailing the events.
Best of luck to you and your son.
Does the parent of the bully appear approachable?
I think I would have a word with the parent but not in an accusing way...maybe state that the group is making your child's life hell and that you are not pointing your finger directly at his/her son but that you are concerned about the effect the group's behaviour is having on your son. The school should have an anti-bullying policy and have no right to ignore the situation.
If it was my child I would first go through all the school has to offer. You could even go to district if you have to. If that didn't work, I was ask for a meeting with the parents. Maybe they don't even know that their kids are doing this. You could meet with the parents in the school office that way you know it's safe for all involved. I certainly wouldn't allow my temper to take over. My son gets bullied too because he's so little compared to the other students. Many times I speak to the teacher and that seems to stop it but he's still in grade school. I have contacted the school district before and got very satisfying results.
You probably should confront them, but never lose your cool. Remember to do your best to stay calm. Talk to them about their child, but do not insult their child in fron of them. Just tell them that their child does not properly treat yours.
If the school cannot resolve this, do it on your own. It's your kid's life and education which is at jeopardy. But I suggest that you talk to them, ask them about their child, what their child likes or hates, then you could advice your child to do these things so that the one who "was" once his enemy may become his friend.
Hope you're satisfied. Anyways. I haven't done it yet, but I've helped other parents talk to teachers and some parents too. :)
FIRST I WOULD GET MY SON SOME FRIENDS WITH HIM THEN CON FRONT HIM then BEAT THE ******* HELL OUT OF HIM!
Please don't confront the parents. Children learn their behaviors from the adults that they are around usually, and chances are the parents aren't going to be receptive to your concerns. They'll probably say "oh, they're just kids.or whatever."
Since the school isn't helping you out (and actually, what can they do.if they don't see it, and no one else is witnessing, it's his word against your sons), then go to the Youth officer at your local school. He can get involved by speaking to the parents of the bully as well as the bully himself. Chances are the 2 have already met. You have to do something, but your biggest priority is protecting your son. While not making excuses for the bully, does he (or any of his classmates) really understand what autism is and how it manifasts itsself? Victims, whose parents try to fix the problem, tend to be treated worse after the confrontation by the parent of the victim. Be careful. You may have to consider teaching your son to walk the other way and a really good counselor can help that.
School board could help, however again.without witnesses, it's he said/he said. Of course, if you hear it, you can speak to the kid yourself, but that has consequences too. Good luck to you sweetie. I feel for what you're going through. My daughter was the victim of a nasty rumor that got out of control. Fortunately, it's over now and she's in a really good place in her life, but as her parent, it hurt and gave the feeling of total helplessness. I wish you the best of luck in resolving this issue.
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