One for all parents out there, whos children are old enough to know about the birds and bees.?
My son is old enough and does know about the b&bs.
Only problem is he now lets me know that he knows what his dad and i are doing while we are in bed at night.
Any parents been here before, how should i handle it?
We have kept it light and see the funny side but its putting us off and tried to do it quietly but thats no fun and its hard work:0( Im no sceamer but yknow youve got to make a bit of noise.
We cant ship the kids to granparents every time we want yknow what.
We cant afford hotels every time.
We are making the mostof hubbys days off.
Any advice, parent to parent ?
No advice from singles who dont have this problem please..
Answers:
That's why u do it in the wee hours in the morning . Or if u have the time do it when they are at school.
Stick a decent stereo in your room and tell your kid it's rude to earwig on mum & dad's private time.
Try turning on the TV in your room. A floor fan (box fan) that makes a steady "hum" will help drown out the noise level from behind the closed door as well.
Send him to a freinds house. Also ignore him and make as much noise as you want. It's your house. He should be the one getting the creeps about you having sex not the other way around.
I have a thirteen year old and have had the same problem. I tried the 'make it light' approach and things did not improve.. If he is old enough to know about the birds and bees then he is old enough for your husband to sit him down and have a chat with him about what him 'knowing' is doing to your relationship. We did this with my son and found that the open and honest approach actually worked.
Maybe you should get a "white noise machine". That's the kind they use in psychiatrist's offices so you can't hear what's being said when you're in the waiting room. They sell them at Kmart, etc.if not, just put on your television or radio to drown out any noise and lock your door. You and your husband have every right to your private adult time and I think you should commumicate that to your child as well.
When your kids start asking questions you should start answering because if they are wondering then they will find out. if you don't tell them some one else will tell them. When you are the one to tell them you can control the bias and how graphic the info is. Don't make it a joke or they will think the topic is a joke.
let him stay at a friends house.turn the radio on. exp. to the child that what happens in momma and daddy room at night is nothing 2 do with him and he should be sleepin.
Encourage him to spend more time with his friends. He'll soon get bored of "laughing at Mum", if his mates are doing something more exciting. Suggest a sleepover with friends. Kids are getting worse these days - you have to keep one step ahead.
and you feel you need to have this talk because?
You can't keep the kid away from reality, and you also don't want him to think that sex is dirty or whatever, so just tell him, when he hears it, Mom and dad are spending private time together. Tell him making love is natural but it is private, not for other people to listen to. He will sort out some of it himself but believe me you cant spend your life banging when the kids aren't home because they LIVE there! My son used to call it "stomach wrestling" and now (I hope) they know that sex is natural, good, private, etc.
1st of all i know how you feel sort of when i used to stay at current partners house his lodger would always comment bout it and used to make a joke its hard having to put up with it from a 25 yr old man let alone your own son,
has your husband tried talking to him your son may find it a little embarrasing coming from mum as he probably is quite un sure how to deal with it himself how old is he by the way?
to be honest im along way from that stage as my son is only 8 wks old but hope the tip work
good luck !
just tell your son that's what people in love do it perfectly natural and that all grown ups do or you could try telling him your exercising together . i know it doesn't work for me either but it does make my kids laugh and diffuses an awkward situation
This is definiely one of the bad side effects of having children. You won't feel comfortable now until he leaves home. That's the way it goes. By the way, we replaced all the door handles in our house and the pack came with a door handle with a lock. Guess whose bedroom got that one?
Simply tell him that the joke has worn thin now. Enough already. And that if he doesn't want to be emotionally scarred for life, to knock before he walks in!
I think he needs another talking to, explaining that it is a way of showing love between adults and is a natural thing to do and best done in private and not commented on.
The other thing would be to comment on something he does every time he does it so he gets the idea of how annoying it is.
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Only problem is he now lets me know that he knows what his dad and i are doing while we are in bed at night.
Any parents been here before, how should i handle it?
We have kept it light and see the funny side but its putting us off and tried to do it quietly but thats no fun and its hard work:0( Im no sceamer but yknow youve got to make a bit of noise.
We cant ship the kids to granparents every time we want yknow what.
We cant afford hotels every time.
We are making the mostof hubbys days off.
Any advice, parent to parent ?
No advice from singles who dont have this problem please..
Answers:
That's why u do it in the wee hours in the morning . Or if u have the time do it when they are at school.
Stick a decent stereo in your room and tell your kid it's rude to earwig on mum & dad's private time.
Try turning on the TV in your room. A floor fan (box fan) that makes a steady "hum" will help drown out the noise level from behind the closed door as well.
Send him to a freinds house. Also ignore him and make as much noise as you want. It's your house. He should be the one getting the creeps about you having sex not the other way around.
I have a thirteen year old and have had the same problem. I tried the 'make it light' approach and things did not improve.. If he is old enough to know about the birds and bees then he is old enough for your husband to sit him down and have a chat with him about what him 'knowing' is doing to your relationship. We did this with my son and found that the open and honest approach actually worked.
Maybe you should get a "white noise machine". That's the kind they use in psychiatrist's offices so you can't hear what's being said when you're in the waiting room. They sell them at Kmart, etc.if not, just put on your television or radio to drown out any noise and lock your door. You and your husband have every right to your private adult time and I think you should commumicate that to your child as well.
When your kids start asking questions you should start answering because if they are wondering then they will find out. if you don't tell them some one else will tell them. When you are the one to tell them you can control the bias and how graphic the info is. Don't make it a joke or they will think the topic is a joke.
let him stay at a friends house.turn the radio on. exp. to the child that what happens in momma and daddy room at night is nothing 2 do with him and he should be sleepin.
Encourage him to spend more time with his friends. He'll soon get bored of "laughing at Mum", if his mates are doing something more exciting. Suggest a sleepover with friends. Kids are getting worse these days - you have to keep one step ahead.
and you feel you need to have this talk because?
You can't keep the kid away from reality, and you also don't want him to think that sex is dirty or whatever, so just tell him, when he hears it, Mom and dad are spending private time together. Tell him making love is natural but it is private, not for other people to listen to. He will sort out some of it himself but believe me you cant spend your life banging when the kids aren't home because they LIVE there! My son used to call it "stomach wrestling" and now (I hope) they know that sex is natural, good, private, etc.
1st of all i know how you feel sort of when i used to stay at current partners house his lodger would always comment bout it and used to make a joke its hard having to put up with it from a 25 yr old man let alone your own son,
has your husband tried talking to him your son may find it a little embarrasing coming from mum as he probably is quite un sure how to deal with it himself how old is he by the way?
to be honest im along way from that stage as my son is only 8 wks old but hope the tip work
good luck !
just tell your son that's what people in love do it perfectly natural and that all grown ups do or you could try telling him your exercising together . i know it doesn't work for me either but it does make my kids laugh and diffuses an awkward situation
This is definiely one of the bad side effects of having children. You won't feel comfortable now until he leaves home. That's the way it goes. By the way, we replaced all the door handles in our house and the pack came with a door handle with a lock. Guess whose bedroom got that one?
Simply tell him that the joke has worn thin now. Enough already. And that if he doesn't want to be emotionally scarred for life, to knock before he walks in!
I think he needs another talking to, explaining that it is a way of showing love between adults and is a natural thing to do and best done in private and not commented on.
The other thing would be to comment on something he does every time he does it so he gets the idea of how annoying it is.
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