What should i do?
i have just sufferd a misscaraige and my best freins is pregnaunt i am so happy for her but when she is flashing her scan photo at me and talking about the baby i think she forgets i am hurting about my loss how can i tell her how i am feeling without offending her i want to know about her baby and how sh is doing but not everymin of the day am i been selfish
Answers:
No, you're not being selfish. If you've had a miscarriage it can seem as though the whole world is pregnant. I'm sure your friend doesn't realise how much this is hurting you. She is probably so wrapped up in her own excitement that she forgets how hurt you are feeling and because your her best friend she wants you to be part of this special time for her. Its not selfish of you to grieve for your baby and to feel as though its not fair that she is having an experience that you should be going through too. You probably need to tell her that sometimes her excitement is a bit too much for you to bear and to understand that whilst you are thrilled for her, you're still feeling very upset about your own loss. But try if you can to join in with your friend's excitement. Even though you've had a miscarriage, there is every chance that you'll be going through a pregnancy that results in a healthy baby yourself in the not too distant future and then you'll be the one flashing the scan photos around and relying on your friend for help and advice. Good luck
No. Just be open and honest explain that SOMETIMES it hurts and you will need some space but also that you WANT to be involved.
Tell her that you are happy for her, but still feeling your loss and it's tough for you to discuss her pregnancy right now.it's rather unfeeling of her to brag around you, knowing what you've recently gone through.even if she is happy for herself, she should temper her enthusiasm until she sees you are ready to share it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
She's a selfish narrow minded moron , poke her in the eye with a teaspoon.
firstly, sorry for ur loss,
no ur not selfish. but u need to be honest with her, because not telling her, could make ur feelings worse. explain that u want to be there for her, but she needs to understand ur feelings to.
good luck,
Very difficult. I think you should say exactly how you feel. She will probably feel a bit uncomfortable but just let her know you are still happy for her and will be there for her when the baby comes. She has to show some consideration for you when she knows how you feel. Take care.
You need to grieve for your baby. Try talking to a different friend about your loss.
Make the most of your friends baby when it arrives, you never know it may not be long before it has a playmate.
Bless you heart, you are in an impossible situation. You are both suffering, but still wanting to celebrate your friend.
As hard as it will be, you need to talk to her, and tell her that you are still very sad about your miscarriage, and becuase of the timing, it will mean that you need some space.
If she can't see your pain, and respond to your pain, then she is too selfish to be your friend, and will be a prima dona mother.
Worry about your needs at this time--only.
you will have a sad place in your heart for the rest of your life, even after you have successful pregnancies, and are chasing around energetic kids. no one will ever understand it except you, though.
God Bless you and best wishes.
I had a misscarriage last June. My best friend and my cousin were both exactly a week behind me. So we were all about the same amount pregnant. I of coarse miscarried and they didn't. It was hard and to see their pics and stuff I wondered why I couldnt be doing that with mine. Then I thought you know htey are trying to include me in their baby stuff and they were trying to help. It did. I enjoyed their pregnancies with them. Now I know why mine didn;t make it..Now i get to babysit 2 beautiful babies when ever I want. PLus I got pregnant again 5 months later.there is hope..don;t look at it as a bad thing and you must think also that this is her time to enjoy and you mean alot ot her and she wants to share it with you. If it was the other way atround then would it be fair to "hide" all the great details? I know it is hard..but embrace this time to share with your friend!!
been in the same boat myself hun. one of my friends even hid her pregnancy from me in case it hurt me. another didn't think about my feelings at all and my uncle stopped me lookin after his baby for fear id lose my marbles and steal her. so it just shows that ppl don't know how to deal with it. some ppl go over the top to protect u and some just make out like nothing happened. all i can say is it does get a little easier but u don't ever forget. gd luck with the future x
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss . I cannot imagine how you feel . My sister has had 2 miscarriages and i saw how much emotion pain she was in .
I really think that you should talk to her about how you feel . I don't think she is doing it on purpose , I think she is just lost in the experience . Tell her that you are still in pain about your loss and that hearing her talk about the baby ,reminds you of what you lost. You are not being selfish sweetie , you are just really going thru a hard time and she will understand.
Dear Millie
My deepest condolences and sympathy
please take time to mourn your baby.that baby will always have a place in your heart.
your pain is understandable.so is your friends joy.
It is easy to suggest that you should talk to your friend, tell her how you feel.but very hard to actually do so.
Could you possibly talk to a psychologist or therapist? You NEED TO TALK to a professional.PLEASE.
I'M ROOTING FOR YOU.
I have been in a similiar situation. I lost my baby girl when I was 6m along and then got pregnant again a month later!! So keep in mind your time will come too. I didn't listen to the advice ppl. told me about waiting and mourning, I went a head and got pregnant with my 2nd child who is very happy and healthy almost 2yr old now and I also have a 8m. old little girl WITH a 2nd BABY girl on the way!! I am truly blessed and you soon will be too. God speed.
You are not being selfish, you experienced a great loss and your friend should acknowledge that loss. Be honest with your friend and tell her how you feel. Good luck on getting pregnant agin one day.
Just talk it through with her. I am sure she will understand.
My sister suffered a miscarriage, but went on to have two handsome (naughty - well, one is) sons.
Don't feel too bad about your feelings towards your friend. Its only natural you feel envious, because you're thinking she's going through what you should have been experiencing. Whereas you also feel gulity because you want to be happy for her too.
Take time to get over your own loss, but also remember that first time expectant mothers also become the biggest 'baby bores'; so she will go on about it; even if she doesn't mean to or realise she's doing it. Remind yourself she's not doing it to hurt you. She's just excited.
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Answers:
No, you're not being selfish. If you've had a miscarriage it can seem as though the whole world is pregnant. I'm sure your friend doesn't realise how much this is hurting you. She is probably so wrapped up in her own excitement that she forgets how hurt you are feeling and because your her best friend she wants you to be part of this special time for her. Its not selfish of you to grieve for your baby and to feel as though its not fair that she is having an experience that you should be going through too. You probably need to tell her that sometimes her excitement is a bit too much for you to bear and to understand that whilst you are thrilled for her, you're still feeling very upset about your own loss. But try if you can to join in with your friend's excitement. Even though you've had a miscarriage, there is every chance that you'll be going through a pregnancy that results in a healthy baby yourself in the not too distant future and then you'll be the one flashing the scan photos around and relying on your friend for help and advice. Good luck
No. Just be open and honest explain that SOMETIMES it hurts and you will need some space but also that you WANT to be involved.
Tell her that you are happy for her, but still feeling your loss and it's tough for you to discuss her pregnancy right now.it's rather unfeeling of her to brag around you, knowing what you've recently gone through.even if she is happy for herself, she should temper her enthusiasm until she sees you are ready to share it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
She's a selfish narrow minded moron , poke her in the eye with a teaspoon.
firstly, sorry for ur loss,
no ur not selfish. but u need to be honest with her, because not telling her, could make ur feelings worse. explain that u want to be there for her, but she needs to understand ur feelings to.
good luck,
Very difficult. I think you should say exactly how you feel. She will probably feel a bit uncomfortable but just let her know you are still happy for her and will be there for her when the baby comes. She has to show some consideration for you when she knows how you feel. Take care.
You need to grieve for your baby. Try talking to a different friend about your loss.
Make the most of your friends baby when it arrives, you never know it may not be long before it has a playmate.
Bless you heart, you are in an impossible situation. You are both suffering, but still wanting to celebrate your friend.
As hard as it will be, you need to talk to her, and tell her that you are still very sad about your miscarriage, and becuase of the timing, it will mean that you need some space.
If she can't see your pain, and respond to your pain, then she is too selfish to be your friend, and will be a prima dona mother.
Worry about your needs at this time--only.
you will have a sad place in your heart for the rest of your life, even after you have successful pregnancies, and are chasing around energetic kids. no one will ever understand it except you, though.
God Bless you and best wishes.
I had a misscarriage last June. My best friend and my cousin were both exactly a week behind me. So we were all about the same amount pregnant. I of coarse miscarried and they didn't. It was hard and to see their pics and stuff I wondered why I couldnt be doing that with mine. Then I thought you know htey are trying to include me in their baby stuff and they were trying to help. It did. I enjoyed their pregnancies with them. Now I know why mine didn;t make it..Now i get to babysit 2 beautiful babies when ever I want. PLus I got pregnant again 5 months later.there is hope..don;t look at it as a bad thing and you must think also that this is her time to enjoy and you mean alot ot her and she wants to share it with you. If it was the other way atround then would it be fair to "hide" all the great details? I know it is hard..but embrace this time to share with your friend!!
been in the same boat myself hun. one of my friends even hid her pregnancy from me in case it hurt me. another didn't think about my feelings at all and my uncle stopped me lookin after his baby for fear id lose my marbles and steal her. so it just shows that ppl don't know how to deal with it. some ppl go over the top to protect u and some just make out like nothing happened. all i can say is it does get a little easier but u don't ever forget. gd luck with the future x
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss . I cannot imagine how you feel . My sister has had 2 miscarriages and i saw how much emotion pain she was in .
I really think that you should talk to her about how you feel . I don't think she is doing it on purpose , I think she is just lost in the experience . Tell her that you are still in pain about your loss and that hearing her talk about the baby ,reminds you of what you lost. You are not being selfish sweetie , you are just really going thru a hard time and she will understand.
Dear Millie
My deepest condolences and sympathy
please take time to mourn your baby.that baby will always have a place in your heart.
your pain is understandable.so is your friends joy.
It is easy to suggest that you should talk to your friend, tell her how you feel.but very hard to actually do so.
Could you possibly talk to a psychologist or therapist? You NEED TO TALK to a professional.PLEASE.
I'M ROOTING FOR YOU.
I have been in a similiar situation. I lost my baby girl when I was 6m along and then got pregnant again a month later!! So keep in mind your time will come too. I didn't listen to the advice ppl. told me about waiting and mourning, I went a head and got pregnant with my 2nd child who is very happy and healthy almost 2yr old now and I also have a 8m. old little girl WITH a 2nd BABY girl on the way!! I am truly blessed and you soon will be too. God speed.
You are not being selfish, you experienced a great loss and your friend should acknowledge that loss. Be honest with your friend and tell her how you feel. Good luck on getting pregnant agin one day.
Just talk it through with her. I am sure she will understand.
My sister suffered a miscarriage, but went on to have two handsome (naughty - well, one is) sons.
Don't feel too bad about your feelings towards your friend. Its only natural you feel envious, because you're thinking she's going through what you should have been experiencing. Whereas you also feel gulity because you want to be happy for her too.
Take time to get over your own loss, but also remember that first time expectant mothers also become the biggest 'baby bores'; so she will go on about it; even if she doesn't mean to or realise she's doing it. Remind yourself she's not doing it to hurt you. She's just excited.
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