How far into a relationship would be suitable to start trying for a first child?
After leaving my husband earlier this year due to many reasons but a few main ones were: He didnt want to setup our own home (he wanted to live with his family forever), He spent all the money on unessecasry items, he didnt want a family etc (aswell as other things) I thought i'd given up any hope of finding someone and settling down with a nice home and family. However something unexpected happend and i met a really nice, genuine, decent bloke, i can tell he loves me and yes i have to say it, i love him too. We have talked about having a family and a nice home and he feels the same as me, we cant wait to start tryimg for our first child. The thing is we have only been together for a couple of months, i feel ready and so does he, but what do others think?
Answers:
I was with my partner for 5 months when we got married (now for 4 Yeaers) We started trying for a baby about six months into the relationship.so its when ever u feel ready and sure that u both want 2 have a baby good luck
When you BOTH feel ready
if you both feel ready then go for it, or parhaps you should get a home together first
good luckx
when you both want the kid first...duh
go for it i say 100% and good ridance to that no good ex husband of yours. if your both ready and settled go with what your heart says babies either make you or break you. sounds like you deserve to be happy and good luck :-)
something similar happend to me and it all went pear shaped, that is to say 'we' got pregnant after 3 or 4 months of being together and when i had the baby he turned to drugs and lost us everything so im now a single mum. dont think for one seccond that i mean you partner is bound to do the same thing but you have to be so sure before going into something like having a baby with someone. think about your reasons, are they because you want to have this mans child or is it because the other guy didnt want kids and now you have found someone who does you wanna do it fast before he changes his mind? if you decide to have a baby with him sooner rather then waiting i wish you the best of luck and hope your very very happy. :)
if you have both discussed it together as partners and both feel you are ready then whats holding you back hunny go for it you both want the same thing family, home, etc i cant see whats stopping you its your life and if you feel happy about things then don't let any one get in your way and good luck for your future you sound like you deserve it xxx
i met my hubby online in july we met in person onlabr day weekend(in 2003) by halloween we were married and then in nov of 2004 we got prego.. we started trying in sept..
so i believe if both feel this is what your ready for go for it.. and also if you getting up there in the years.. your chances lessen and decease with time..
so if your a older couple i say go for it
You can't really know someone after just a few months. Couples should have a few years to enjoy eachother before starting a family.
Please make sure you are not wanting a baby more than you are wanting him. Dont have a baby to feed your insecurity or feel loved unconditionally, or to prove something to your ex.
If he is the one (and I hope that he is) waiting 6 months to see how it goes will be easy. Set up home together and borrow any babies in the family for a weekend - it will give their parents a break and give you a taster for a couple of days. Make sure you are dealing with the reality - not the dream when making this decision.
Good Luck x
if you want to aviod repeating mistakes, please wait until you two have known eachother for a very long time. Perhaps your ex told you he wanted all the same things in life that you did and then took it all back once you were married, or perhaps you went into that committment without really knowing where he stood on some of these big issues. Unless you know someone really really well, it's hard to gague if an initial infatuation will turn into a happy ever after. Realtionships are work, and in every case, time reveals kinks that need to be worked out. Bringing a child into the world is not something that should be rushed into. You two will be better parents once you become better friends. Don't rush this.
To play devil's advocate, let me remind you that myself and almost every other woman out there has had a disenchating expereince with a lover once the "honeymoon" phase has worn off. People change their behavior once they become more comfortable with you. Usually, a whole year of dating will reveal a new side to a person. Also, you may be seeing what you want to see in light of your unfufilling marriage.
All in all, I really think you are jumping the gun, and if you two really do love eachother, demonstrate it by taking the time and giving the relationship space to mature, and don't rush into this. If, even for the simple reason that it will give you more time to have fun with eachother before a baby changes your responsiblities and your life.
go with the flow! me and my husband had only been together 2 months when we statring trying for a baby but it felt right. 2 1/2 years later we are happily married and are 16 month old is the apple of our eyes. i feel like i have always been with my husband when in fact it as only been 3 years in june 07 and for 12 weeks of them we have been together as husband and wife. everyone said it wouldn`t last as we rushed into things but we are happier then the first day we met. true love does happen so go with the flow if it feels right then follow your heart. good luck with your future.
make sure you are willing to commit to each other before making a life long commitment to having a child..ask yourselves are you ready for marriage..which as you know its necessarily for life.if not then how can you be ready for a child who your commitment, support, love etc is for a lifetime? don't mistake lust, new love and a decent bloke for real love and commitment. if either one of you is unsure, wait a couple of months and see how things are.with your first husband i am sure things were great at first but then the reality of marriage and commitment set in and you experienced first hand what happens, now add a child to the mix..remember a child never heals or saves a relationship..they divide your time and if you are not committed entirely then this relationship will end too and you will not only get hurt but your child will. if this relationship is rock solid then waiting a few months will not damage it, in fact it will strengthen it.
You should wait until your divorce is final before trying to get pregnant so that your ex cant say the baby is his regardless if he didnt want kids or not I am 26 and have been married and divorced twice both marriages ending because they cheated on me and both men were sterile while I was able to get pregant I too thought that I was never going to be a mother About 8 months after my second divorce I met my current boyfriend at an online dating website called plenty of fish.com We talked online for about a month and a half before agreeing to meet in person We met in a public place in my town and we immediately hit it off about a month later I moved in with him because I wanted to get away from my ex who was harrassing me at my job(he got married two months after the divorce to the woman he was cheating on me with because she faked being pregnant and threatened to kill herself if he didint stay with her)My boyfriend and I realized that we both could have kids and wanted to try so we never bothered using any protection ( we both were tested just to be sure) I got pregnant in November which was about two weeks before I move in with him but I didnt know I was pregnant until Dec. 22 two days after his birthday we told our families on Christmas eve and the were happy for us. On July 14, 2006 just 8 days before my birthday I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy via c-section and my boyfriend and I are proud first time parents with no plans to get married right away since we want to be use about getting married first be we have always wanted to be parents
Well I say go ahead and start, but only AFTER your divorce is final (you didn't say if it was or not), and imo, after you've married this new guy. Good luck!
That decision is really just up to you and him. You really can't listen to anyone else if that is what you want.
Me and my now husband Had been together for 6 years before i decided to have a baby. Now my son is 5 years old.
Everyone is different in when they choose to become pregnant. Go for it if he wants it and you as well.
When you start trying go to http://www.mymonthlycycles.com and put in your period info and it will calculate when you will be fertile and ovulating.
It is a free and helpful site...Good luck
wait a while.
my husband(boyfriend at the time) and I were only together 4 months before we got pregnant with our daughter
my advice dont get to involved with anyone to much until after your divorce is completly final. your soon to be ex can use this against you in court. dont get pregnant either . this can also cause you alot of trouble with the ex. you are also probably rebounding to this guy which means you are only going on emotions and not really connecting you are only thinking about what you want and now what you need.as women we left our emotions get away from us. but this is my opinion it would be in your bes intrest to not get pregnant or too involved with someone else til your divorce is final. so you dont make the same or worse mistakes
I understand the urge to have your child, but I would advise to wait until you set up that home you wanted so much
don't just trust him remember you have being burn before
and beside why don't wait for your divorce
live together first because you dont know what he is really like....live together for about 5 months so you can get to know him and his annoying habits and then if you both still feel the same go for it !!!! xx
Don't you think you should wait and see if this relationship has any staying power first? A couple of months isn't a lot of time, you two probably haven't even been totally yourself with each other yet. Let the relationship grow for a couple of years first, enjoy the time you have together because after you have kids everything changes. Don't rush into something you'll have to live with (and will effect the life of someone else) for a long time afterwards.
i would at least wait and get married!
If you feel that you are both ready now then do it! Never put a time limit on LOVE. NEVER. Love happens at a drop of a dime at times. Sounds to me like you guys are both serious about each other and want a nice long future together. If the time is right then go at it. Just talk to him again and ask him when he feels ready. Communication in a relationship is one of the most important things.
If he's a good bloke then it will be ok-but think can you raise the child by yourself cos if you can't then don't do it-no relationship is cemented-anything can happen-I know cos i'm raising 3 by myself
For goodness sake! Get the divorce out of the way first. Then possibly a new Wedding ring would be a good starting point, before trying for a Baby.
It makes better sense than just rushing ahead at this early stage.
I think that if you both feel ready then go for it!
My partner and I were together 3 months when I fell pregnant. Although I knew him for a few years before we got together, we fell in love straight away and decided we wanted a family together.
3 years later, we are still going strong!
If you both feel ready and your sure your love can stand the test of a baby, then go for it, but remember a baby won't bring you closer, it's bloody hard work and if anything it means you'll spend alot more time apart!
Good Luck and do whatever makes you happy! xxx
well done for having the strenght to walk away from a bad marriage not many people could do that! to answer your question i think only u know the answer, b/c everybodys different some might say wait a cple of years, get married first or even try living together first but its your life and only u can make that decision, me personal i came off the pill within mths of meeting my now husband and it took about 6 mths to fall pregnant we went on to have 2 more children and got married only 5 mths ago after 6.5 years and were planning on baby #4 soon so if you want it, then have it. best of luck to you!
it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks only how you both feel and think about trying to have a baby on a down side you must ask yourself if it goes pair shaped could you go it alone good luck with what ever you chose
I hope getting married first.
-- ''Wait''-- until you have some longer handed experience of him and of how he is on a regular basis -- before talking through with him the possibility of having a good basis for starting a family.
I'm trying to remember the complete expression - but can only recall the last line which says...
'repent at leisure.'
(which in the end means, 'Beware' of the actions which might have you 'regretting it later,' at your leisure.)
I hope things work out for you.
Sash.
whats the best thing i could buy my partner, after she has the baby, and gets to go home?
do i tell anyone though?
Is it worth eating your main meal in the middle of the day?
Little Boy - How should he Pee?
i had unprotected sex 11 days ago how far pregnant coild i be?
need an origional girls name?
does anybody know what a sweep is and how good is it meant to be?
My daughter wont do potty any suggestions?
Answers:
I was with my partner for 5 months when we got married (now for 4 Yeaers) We started trying for a baby about six months into the relationship.so its when ever u feel ready and sure that u both want 2 have a baby good luck
When you BOTH feel ready
if you both feel ready then go for it, or parhaps you should get a home together first
good luckx
when you both want the kid first...duh
go for it i say 100% and good ridance to that no good ex husband of yours. if your both ready and settled go with what your heart says babies either make you or break you. sounds like you deserve to be happy and good luck :-)
something similar happend to me and it all went pear shaped, that is to say 'we' got pregnant after 3 or 4 months of being together and when i had the baby he turned to drugs and lost us everything so im now a single mum. dont think for one seccond that i mean you partner is bound to do the same thing but you have to be so sure before going into something like having a baby with someone. think about your reasons, are they because you want to have this mans child or is it because the other guy didnt want kids and now you have found someone who does you wanna do it fast before he changes his mind? if you decide to have a baby with him sooner rather then waiting i wish you the best of luck and hope your very very happy. :)
if you have both discussed it together as partners and both feel you are ready then whats holding you back hunny go for it you both want the same thing family, home, etc i cant see whats stopping you its your life and if you feel happy about things then don't let any one get in your way and good luck for your future you sound like you deserve it xxx
i met my hubby online in july we met in person onlabr day weekend(in 2003) by halloween we were married and then in nov of 2004 we got prego.. we started trying in sept..
so i believe if both feel this is what your ready for go for it.. and also if you getting up there in the years.. your chances lessen and decease with time..
so if your a older couple i say go for it
You can't really know someone after just a few months. Couples should have a few years to enjoy eachother before starting a family.
Please make sure you are not wanting a baby more than you are wanting him. Dont have a baby to feed your insecurity or feel loved unconditionally, or to prove something to your ex.
If he is the one (and I hope that he is) waiting 6 months to see how it goes will be easy. Set up home together and borrow any babies in the family for a weekend - it will give their parents a break and give you a taster for a couple of days. Make sure you are dealing with the reality - not the dream when making this decision.
Good Luck x
if you want to aviod repeating mistakes, please wait until you two have known eachother for a very long time. Perhaps your ex told you he wanted all the same things in life that you did and then took it all back once you were married, or perhaps you went into that committment without really knowing where he stood on some of these big issues. Unless you know someone really really well, it's hard to gague if an initial infatuation will turn into a happy ever after. Realtionships are work, and in every case, time reveals kinks that need to be worked out. Bringing a child into the world is not something that should be rushed into. You two will be better parents once you become better friends. Don't rush this.
To play devil's advocate, let me remind you that myself and almost every other woman out there has had a disenchating expereince with a lover once the "honeymoon" phase has worn off. People change their behavior once they become more comfortable with you. Usually, a whole year of dating will reveal a new side to a person. Also, you may be seeing what you want to see in light of your unfufilling marriage.
All in all, I really think you are jumping the gun, and if you two really do love eachother, demonstrate it by taking the time and giving the relationship space to mature, and don't rush into this. If, even for the simple reason that it will give you more time to have fun with eachother before a baby changes your responsiblities and your life.
go with the flow! me and my husband had only been together 2 months when we statring trying for a baby but it felt right. 2 1/2 years later we are happily married and are 16 month old is the apple of our eyes. i feel like i have always been with my husband when in fact it as only been 3 years in june 07 and for 12 weeks of them we have been together as husband and wife. everyone said it wouldn`t last as we rushed into things but we are happier then the first day we met. true love does happen so go with the flow if it feels right then follow your heart. good luck with your future.
make sure you are willing to commit to each other before making a life long commitment to having a child..ask yourselves are you ready for marriage..which as you know its necessarily for life.if not then how can you be ready for a child who your commitment, support, love etc is for a lifetime? don't mistake lust, new love and a decent bloke for real love and commitment. if either one of you is unsure, wait a couple of months and see how things are.with your first husband i am sure things were great at first but then the reality of marriage and commitment set in and you experienced first hand what happens, now add a child to the mix..remember a child never heals or saves a relationship..they divide your time and if you are not committed entirely then this relationship will end too and you will not only get hurt but your child will. if this relationship is rock solid then waiting a few months will not damage it, in fact it will strengthen it.
You should wait until your divorce is final before trying to get pregnant so that your ex cant say the baby is his regardless if he didnt want kids or not I am 26 and have been married and divorced twice both marriages ending because they cheated on me and both men were sterile while I was able to get pregant I too thought that I was never going to be a mother About 8 months after my second divorce I met my current boyfriend at an online dating website called plenty of fish.com We talked online for about a month and a half before agreeing to meet in person We met in a public place in my town and we immediately hit it off about a month later I moved in with him because I wanted to get away from my ex who was harrassing me at my job(he got married two months after the divorce to the woman he was cheating on me with because she faked being pregnant and threatened to kill herself if he didint stay with her)My boyfriend and I realized that we both could have kids and wanted to try so we never bothered using any protection ( we both were tested just to be sure) I got pregnant in November which was about two weeks before I move in with him but I didnt know I was pregnant until Dec. 22 two days after his birthday we told our families on Christmas eve and the were happy for us. On July 14, 2006 just 8 days before my birthday I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy via c-section and my boyfriend and I are proud first time parents with no plans to get married right away since we want to be use about getting married first be we have always wanted to be parents
Well I say go ahead and start, but only AFTER your divorce is final (you didn't say if it was or not), and imo, after you've married this new guy. Good luck!
That decision is really just up to you and him. You really can't listen to anyone else if that is what you want.
Me and my now husband Had been together for 6 years before i decided to have a baby. Now my son is 5 years old.
Everyone is different in when they choose to become pregnant. Go for it if he wants it and you as well.
When you start trying go to http://www.mymonthlycycles.com and put in your period info and it will calculate when you will be fertile and ovulating.
It is a free and helpful site...Good luck
wait a while.
my husband(boyfriend at the time) and I were only together 4 months before we got pregnant with our daughter
my advice dont get to involved with anyone to much until after your divorce is completly final. your soon to be ex can use this against you in court. dont get pregnant either . this can also cause you alot of trouble with the ex. you are also probably rebounding to this guy which means you are only going on emotions and not really connecting you are only thinking about what you want and now what you need.as women we left our emotions get away from us. but this is my opinion it would be in your bes intrest to not get pregnant or too involved with someone else til your divorce is final. so you dont make the same or worse mistakes
I understand the urge to have your child, but I would advise to wait until you set up that home you wanted so much
don't just trust him remember you have being burn before
and beside why don't wait for your divorce
live together first because you dont know what he is really like....live together for about 5 months so you can get to know him and his annoying habits and then if you both still feel the same go for it !!!! xx
Don't you think you should wait and see if this relationship has any staying power first? A couple of months isn't a lot of time, you two probably haven't even been totally yourself with each other yet. Let the relationship grow for a couple of years first, enjoy the time you have together because after you have kids everything changes. Don't rush into something you'll have to live with (and will effect the life of someone else) for a long time afterwards.
i would at least wait and get married!
If you feel that you are both ready now then do it! Never put a time limit on LOVE. NEVER. Love happens at a drop of a dime at times. Sounds to me like you guys are both serious about each other and want a nice long future together. If the time is right then go at it. Just talk to him again and ask him when he feels ready. Communication in a relationship is one of the most important things.
If he's a good bloke then it will be ok-but think can you raise the child by yourself cos if you can't then don't do it-no relationship is cemented-anything can happen-I know cos i'm raising 3 by myself
For goodness sake! Get the divorce out of the way first. Then possibly a new Wedding ring would be a good starting point, before trying for a Baby.
It makes better sense than just rushing ahead at this early stage.
I think that if you both feel ready then go for it!
My partner and I were together 3 months when I fell pregnant. Although I knew him for a few years before we got together, we fell in love straight away and decided we wanted a family together.
3 years later, we are still going strong!
If you both feel ready and your sure your love can stand the test of a baby, then go for it, but remember a baby won't bring you closer, it's bloody hard work and if anything it means you'll spend alot more time apart!
Good Luck and do whatever makes you happy! xxx
well done for having the strenght to walk away from a bad marriage not many people could do that! to answer your question i think only u know the answer, b/c everybodys different some might say wait a cple of years, get married first or even try living together first but its your life and only u can make that decision, me personal i came off the pill within mths of meeting my now husband and it took about 6 mths to fall pregnant we went on to have 2 more children and got married only 5 mths ago after 6.5 years and were planning on baby #4 soon so if you want it, then have it. best of luck to you!
it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks only how you both feel and think about trying to have a baby on a down side you must ask yourself if it goes pair shaped could you go it alone good luck with what ever you chose
I hope getting married first.
-- ''Wait''-- until you have some longer handed experience of him and of how he is on a regular basis -- before talking through with him the possibility of having a good basis for starting a family.
I'm trying to remember the complete expression - but can only recall the last line which says...
'repent at leisure.'
(which in the end means, 'Beware' of the actions which might have you 'regretting it later,' at your leisure.)
I hope things work out for you.
Sash.
The answers post by the user, for information only, UKQnA.com does not guarantee the right.