I'm scared about being pregnant. help me please?
i had sex with my boyfriend with a condom and it split, i took a pregnacy test and it came out negative, but the same thing happened again on the day i was going to the doctors to get the pill! i've been feeling sick, i feel dizzy, and i cant tell my mum coz i'm 16 and she will kill me! my boyfriend wants me to have a baby coz he feels he is ready to be a good father. This is because of his past experience that he wants to do a better job than his dad did. He's been really supportive and said he will help me, but i'm scared of loosing my family! My boyfriend means the world to me, and i have to say we have both agreed that i wont have an abortion because i am against them and we before you say did we put the condom on properly, we definutely did. I really scared and could do with some support from some people that have been there or know about it. Please help?
Answers:
Get another pregnancy test and stop taking chances with cheap condoms. You are very young to be thinking about having a child. It is a 20 year commitment at the best of times. Your bf may think he wants to be a father but can he support you and the child?
You don't have to say anything to the family until you know for SURE that you are pregnant. And, if you are, then invite your boyfriend over and talk to your family about it. Believe me, they may not be supportive in the beginning but they will NOT disown you! However, they may ask that you and your boyfriend get your own place and make you pay your own way and bills for this one. Technically, my opinion is people underage shouldn't even have sex UNLESS they are responsible enough which includes not being afraid to tell their family if you are pregnant!!
First of all -- I have NEVER heard of so many condoms supposedly breaking until I started reading UKQnA.com. Do you know how carefully condoms are tested and checked?
You are WAY too young to have a baby and neither of you are old enough to be parents. You need adult support - if you can't get it from your parents, then seek out a clinic where they have counseling. And get yourself some birth control pills while you're at it.
Go to the doctor. If you are in the UK you can get the problem sorted out without your familiy knowing. The doc must do what you ask and if the family can't know then that's what they'll do.
Ring NHS direct for advice and for a local appointment. 0845 4647.
It's simple enough. If you didn't put it about so much, you wouldn't have these little nagging worries to ruin your weekend.
i got pregnant at 17, i had a huge pressure from my boyfriend of the time 2 have an abortion, so that's wot i did and i regretted ever since. but i went on 2 have a baby at 19 and again nearly 2 yrs l8r. i'm 21 and have 2 kids. i still think that 19 was too young 4 me 2 have a baby and i was scared at the time but once u have ur baby in ur arms 4 the first time and smell their baby smell nothing else matters, and when it comes down 2 it ur parents might not be very happy at first but once they get over the shock they'll be supportive, trust me!
good luck and i hope everything works out 4 u
I don't think you are pregnant, but the only way to know for sure is to wait a little longer before you take the next pregnancy test. I hope for your sake you are not. If your boyfriend loves you so much, he would not want you to get pregnant yet, and would want you to finish school and get to live your life for awhile. He may think he can be a good father, but at this age, no way! If he loves you and you guys stay together, about 10 years down the road, then he can prove what a good father he can be. Do me a favor, and have more respect for yourself, take care, and good luck.
your boyfriend isn't a good one if he wants to get you pregnant at a young age
Dont be scare honey, If you are pregnant and want to keep the baby and have your boyfriend's support you will be fine. You wont loose your family, they might get upset at the beginning but your parents will be crazy over their grandchild, and once you have the baby that will be your family so you are not loosing one you are gaining a new family. Take care, go to the doctor and dont be upset its not good for you.
one thing is not to get yourself so worked up sit down and clear ur mind.
1st thing do a test. (you can take a pee sample into ur doctors and they will do it for free).
2nd once you got the results then you can start to think about it.
you have already made your minds up i think. and if your are pregnant its really not a bad thing i got pregnant at 17 i have 2 kids now and still with my partner after 9yrs I'm not saying its easy cos its really not but if your boyfriend is willing to standby you its all a good start. as long as you want it.
good luck
x x x x x
You're probably not pregnant. There are only 2-3 days a month when a woman can get pregnant (it's harder than you think). Don't say anything to your family until you know for sure. Go to a clinic and get a blood test, which is the most definite way to know if you are or are not pregnant. If you are pregnant, then step one is done: you have made the decision to keep the baby. Your family will be very disappointed in you, as they should be, but they will eventually get over it and forgive you and love your baby. The guy will disappear within years and you will lose out on all the wonderful opportunities in life that you could have had. Your life will be ruined. There, now if you're not pregnant you can stop screwing around until you're ready to accept the consequences. Honey, sex ain't worth it at your age because you have too much to look forward to, and kids are too much responsibility. Stop screwing around, and if you are pregnant, maybe you need to re-think the abortion option. Or at least adoption. You will lose out on so much. Good luck.
I've had condoms break. I don't know what that other person was talking about but I've had several of them break on us. I am allergic to many forms of birth control and so we choose to use condoms to save the reactions and if we get pregnant than so be it. However I am an adult and in a stable relationship that I've worked on for a few years now. Anyhow you would be surprised at how supportive your family could really be. :) So if you are pregnant then I'm sure your family will be a bit ticked off in the beginning but they'll come around. I would wait a few days before your period is supposed to come and then take another urine test. If that comes out negative then I'd bet that you aren't pregnant but if you're still feeling dizzy and stuff you should call your local planned parenthood and see if you can get in and have a test done. And try to remain on birth control because while having a baby sounds okay right now, you do have a future to look out for and you should finish school at least before you have a baby. Your boyfriend sounds like a good guy and I'm glad he's supportive of you. :)
Do another pregnancy test to be sure.
As for the condom splitting, let me enlighten you.
Guys don't like having sex with an overcoat on.
They will pinch little holes in the condom so
it will split. I know, I use to do it. Then they can say well it's not my fault the condom split and you will be understanding.
The best way to not get pregnant is don't do it.
I hope things work out for you.
My middle daughter had a baby at 16. We weren't pleased when we found out she was pregnant but we helped her. She had the baby right before her junior year of high school started. I worked nights so I kept him during the day while she attended school.
When he got old enough to where he wasn't sleeping as much during the day, I quit my job so he wouldn't have to go to day care.
She graduated with the rest of her class and now 6 years later she is an office manager for a large company. She and the babies father did not make it as a couple but she mat a wonderful man 5 years ago and they have been married for 4 years. They are expecting her third child in January.
No your parents aren't going to be happy with you but they will adjust. The choice is your as to what you want to do. But don't plan on the babies father being with you forever. You are only 16 and it is a lot to take on. I love my grandson who is now 8 and wouldn't trade the experience for anything.
Hello. I have a 4 month old, and I am only 19 years old. Although everyone will tell you you are too young to have a baby, it can be done and you can be a great mother. Whatever you do, stay in school. Before you get all nervous about being pregnant, just wait until you're supposed to get your period and see if it will come. You can experience pregnancy symptoms just because you're worried/stressed. Don't tell your parents until you know for sure. When you tell them, if they truly love you, you will not lose them and they will support you no matter what. I wish you the best of luck and if you are pregnant, you should keep it and be the best mother you're capable of. I'll say a prayer.
Sorry. you have to tell your parents. there's no way around that. just remember that parents are people too and as much as you love this baby they love you 100 times more. You'll be fine.
Now, think about what you have just told us.. your boyfriend wants have a baby because his dad was no good. Does that sound like a good reason to you? It takes sooooo much more to be a good parent than just wanting it. It takes money, time and maturity. Just to name a few of the things you need to have in order. It's not a baby's job to live up to your boyfriends expectations of what a family should be. Kids WILL disappoint you. It's what they do. I'm not saying that you and your boyfriend wont be good parents. You may be. Just don't have this baby so that your life will be better. That's not fair to the baby. Being a parent is about giving to another person and expecting nothing in return. you may never get anything in return and that has to be okay with you. Tell your parents! they will be able to help you and they have a right to know that they will be grandparents. This is a whole family, not just you and your boyfriend.
good luck.
Well unfortunately all you can do is wait. You have to wait and take another test. In the meantime be more careful. If they keep breaking switch brands. And maybe you don't have enough lubucation. You can not take birth control until you know for sure. If you do and you are pregnant, it will hurt the baby and your doctor will tell you that you need to get and abortion. It kinda sounds like you are letting him decide your feelings for you. You don't say how YOU feel about it, just how he feels. While it is important for you to consider his feelings, it is your body, and your decision. I know you don't think so, but there is a chance of him running away anyway. My sister had a baby with a guy that was 14. He said he wanted the baby and was so excited. He was around for about 3 months after the baby was born. Then he realized how much he was missing in life. He hasn't seen or talked to his daughter in over a year now! Honestly hunny, you aren't ready. You have plenty of time and so does he. You might WANT a baby. But you can't take care of a baby. At this age you can't take care of yourself! You can't get a place to live, have job and daycare and groceries and diapers and a car and gas and still finish school! How would you get to all your appointments? Can you drive? I am 20 in 6 days and I've been on my own (my own place, job and car.) And I'm not ready! Please be more careful! I know this sounds like a lecture and I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but you might need to. I am here. (stuck at home 38 weeks pregnant all day!) If you need to talk to some one. I promise not to act like a mom, just support. E-mail me ANYTIME with anything!
(click my picture and then click e-mail)
I'm not going to preach to you about not having sex until you're ready to deal with the responsibilities of having a baby, but I will say that no matter what else you do with your life from now on it WILL have an effect on your baby. That is, if you are pregnant. If the test came out negative you may be sick and dizzy simply because you're stressing out about the possibility of being pregnant. If you're not pregnant you should consider this a major warning sign. If you're not ready to have a baby, then either get on the pill and wait the proper amount of time for the pill to become fully effective or don't have sex right now. There are other ways to have an enjoyable sexual relationship with your boyfriend without ever risking becoming pregnant. Seriously think about what will happen if you are pregnant. You will have to pay for regular doctor's visits, tests, and ultrasounds. If you can't afford it, or your parent's insurance won't cover it, then you may have to get government help. Either way your parents will have to know. You'll also have to get maternity clothes, which are REALLY expensive unless you know someone who can give you some hand-me-downs. If your parents don't make too much money to get on Medicaid and W.I.C. then you'll have some financial assistance for the proper foods and supplements you'll need while you're pregnant and some essentials for your baby's first year. Unless you know some friends and family with either used baby items they can give you or some people that can afford to buy things for you, you'll have to buy a crib, changing table, 1,000's (literally) of diapers, lots of formula, clothes, toys, and on and on and on..
If your boyfriend is really willing to be a good dad and husband, does he have a job that pays him enough to pay for rent, electricity, water, food (if you do it cheap you may get by with $400/month for food), gas in a car to get to work, car payment, auto insurance, health insurance? Will there be enough extra in case the car needs an oil change, or one of you needs some cold medicine or new shoes or clothes to wear to work. Not to mention daycare. Daycare for a baby less than 6 months old is usually either impossible to find or super expensive. After 6 months it will cost anywhere from $75/week to $175/week from what I've seen in a few states. Average cost is about $125/week.
Take it from someone who has been through some very hard times, the best thing you can possibly do is not get pregnant until you have been successful enough in your own life to be able to take care of the above expenses on your own. The second best thing is to have a boyfriend or husband who can take care of everything without being resentful about it. The third best thing is to have family and friends who are willing and able to take care of you and the baby.
Above all else you have to realise that whatever happens your family will be a part of your life and the baby's life whether you tell them or not. Trust me, eventually they'll find out no matter how hard you try to convince them that baggy clothes really are in style. ;)
If you know your parents love you, then you can rest assured they will love you when you're pregnant, and they will love their grandchild just as much. Once parents know they are becoming grandparents they'll go through a few different stages. The first is disbelief. They'll probably want several test results. Then they may get angry. They may get REALLY angry at your boyfriend and blame the whole thing on him and try to ban him from ever seeing you again. As long as your boyfriend is respectful and understanding of their feelings and continues to make every effort to be supportive of you, eventually your parents will calm down enough to start accepting him as an important part of the family. Just realise that they have a right to be upset even if their anger is a little bit misplaced at first. It won't be long before grandparent fever overtakes them, and whether they want to or not, they'll start getting excited about the arrival their grandchild.
Whatever happens just be honest with yourself, your boyfriend, your parents, and possibly your baby. If you need any advice, support, information, or anything else, there is a link to my email available. I'll be honest, sometimes brutally honest, but never judgemental or mean. Good luck. (and keep breathing, it helps)
If you are pregnant you won't lose your family. You'll have some awkward and maybe unpleasant moments right after you tell your parents, but you won't lose them. (If, by any chance, they are off-the-wall enough to be so unsupportive of a young girl in trouble - and you are in trouble no matter whether this is 2006 or not - then you wouldn't be losing much.)
Your mother won't kill you. She will be upset, but she'll deal with it. Yes - you'll have to listen to her being upset for a while, but if you're grown up enough to have sex you are grown up enough to listen to some words you'd rather not have to listen to.
Wait to see if you miss your period before getting all worried about being pregnant. Take a home pregnancy test, and if it comes out positive set up an appointment with a doctor right away. You're young. You'll be a high-risk pregnancy. If you find out for sure you're pregnant just tell your mother. Too many times girls are so afraid to tell their mother they just pretend not to be pregnant, have the baby, don't know what to do with it, and murder it. Get the ugly task of telling your mother over with as soon as you know for sure you're pregnant.
Your boyfriend probably means well and probably will try to be a good father. Whether or not he will be capable of that could be a different thing. One disadvantage to being unmarried and pregnant is that there's a good chance you and your boyfriend will break up, and you'll have the problem of having to think about any new boyfriends while also having the baby's father around visiting the baby.
The families I know who have a teenager who has a baby always end up loving and enjoying the baby. There are problems because the grandmother wants to tell the girl what to do with the baby (and she may be right), but the baby's mother resents it. I don't know of a situation where the father and mother of the baby have stayed together. Usually, both go on and find other boyfriends and girlfriends and have babies with them. That's not how it always goes, but it goes that way quite often. People somehow muddle through, though.
The person who will end up being the support you need is most likely going to be your mother - not just now, and not just when the baby is first born, but probably for a good 18 years or longer. If you are pregnant you are going to have to become a grown-up really fast, so you may as well start now by telling your mother as soon as you know if you're pregnant.
If you're not pregnant think about how scared you are right now, and maybe make good and sure no "accidents" can happen again. If a condom split once, and you went ahead and took a chance on another one without having back-up for it that tells you that either you are not sensible enough to be having sex or else you secretly hoped to get pregnant. The thing about your boyfriend wanting you to have a baby shouldn't be the point. He isn't going to end up taking the risk of having a baby at 16. In fact, you don't think so now, but he probably isn't going to end up with you or the baby no matter what he may believe now. Just because he wants to see if he can be a better father and iron out whatever issues he has because he had a father who failed isn't a reason for you, yourself, to let a pregnancy happen. You need to take care of you.
I have said what I've said here in an attempt to reassure you if you are pregnant, but I've also said what I've said here in case you aren't pregnant. I don't flatter myself into thinking you'll listen to what I say, but if you're not pregnant I hope you will at least consider it and don't short-change yourself and any baby by getting pregnant until you're at least over 21.
I've been close enough to a couple of families who had girls who got pregnant at 16 to know that while families muddle through and love the babies it is a complicated and difficult situation that makes people think about how the young mother and her baby both deserve better.
Good luck. Tell your mother right away if you are. You won't lose your family.
hey im 16 to im 26 weeks pregnant u need to go to the doc and get a real pregnancy test done ur family might get really mad like mine i got kicked out but they cant stay mad 4 ever my mom came a round a couple of weeks later and now im having a baby girl it will all be better it just might get a little rough first
Listen my little sis got pregnant at 14 (how sad is that) but if you are pregnant you aren't going to be the first or the last to get pregnant at a young age. Like my mom tells my sister one baby is nothing you can move and still finish school just don't have baby after baby because then the baby's suffer more than you.
I'm going to tell you that its going to be hard with out your family's support yes they are going to be mad at first but after that baby come and they take one look at her/him they are going to melt and you know it.
One more think if you are old enough to have sex then you are old enough to sit down with your parents and tell them whats going on. That's what I told my sis and she did it she went up to them and told them. But whats the worse it that can happen them kicking you out find a friend or come to think of it talk to your boyfriend about that.
All I can really say is I understand where you are coming from but now you have to stan up for your baby not you anymore, but your baby comes first since day 1. So think about it and be an adult talk to your parents. Good Luck
I've been there i was 16 when i fell pregnat i was scared to tell my mum cause i thought she would kill me at first she was mad but she some calmed down talk to your doctor they will help remember family is inportent boyfriends come and go i do hope you and your boyfriend are strong together cause then you will be ok also when it comes to tell your mum ask your boyfriend to be with you
If you are pregnant tell your family as soon as possible. It will give them more time to get used to the idea. The longer you leave it before telling them the longer you will be without their support. Being pregnant isn't the end of the world but something that should be cherished. Once your family come round to the idea you can start to enjoy it coz it's a miracle!
how long ago did this happen if its less than 3 days ago then the morning after pill will still be effective
Something that's baffling me?
would you say a teen couldnt cope if she had a baby young,even if she was still with the farther?
Does anyone know where in India can i find egg donors?
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Has my 16 month old got diabetes?
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How much milk should be taken by a 5 months old baby per day?Answer it from real life experiance?
How old was your baby when he/she started teething?
Answers:
Get another pregnancy test and stop taking chances with cheap condoms. You are very young to be thinking about having a child. It is a 20 year commitment at the best of times. Your bf may think he wants to be a father but can he support you and the child?
You don't have to say anything to the family until you know for SURE that you are pregnant. And, if you are, then invite your boyfriend over and talk to your family about it. Believe me, they may not be supportive in the beginning but they will NOT disown you! However, they may ask that you and your boyfriend get your own place and make you pay your own way and bills for this one. Technically, my opinion is people underage shouldn't even have sex UNLESS they are responsible enough which includes not being afraid to tell their family if you are pregnant!!
First of all -- I have NEVER heard of so many condoms supposedly breaking until I started reading UKQnA.com. Do you know how carefully condoms are tested and checked?
You are WAY too young to have a baby and neither of you are old enough to be parents. You need adult support - if you can't get it from your parents, then seek out a clinic where they have counseling. And get yourself some birth control pills while you're at it.
Go to the doctor. If you are in the UK you can get the problem sorted out without your familiy knowing. The doc must do what you ask and if the family can't know then that's what they'll do.
Ring NHS direct for advice and for a local appointment. 0845 4647.
It's simple enough. If you didn't put it about so much, you wouldn't have these little nagging worries to ruin your weekend.
i got pregnant at 17, i had a huge pressure from my boyfriend of the time 2 have an abortion, so that's wot i did and i regretted ever since. but i went on 2 have a baby at 19 and again nearly 2 yrs l8r. i'm 21 and have 2 kids. i still think that 19 was too young 4 me 2 have a baby and i was scared at the time but once u have ur baby in ur arms 4 the first time and smell their baby smell nothing else matters, and when it comes down 2 it ur parents might not be very happy at first but once they get over the shock they'll be supportive, trust me!
good luck and i hope everything works out 4 u
I don't think you are pregnant, but the only way to know for sure is to wait a little longer before you take the next pregnancy test. I hope for your sake you are not. If your boyfriend loves you so much, he would not want you to get pregnant yet, and would want you to finish school and get to live your life for awhile. He may think he can be a good father, but at this age, no way! If he loves you and you guys stay together, about 10 years down the road, then he can prove what a good father he can be. Do me a favor, and have more respect for yourself, take care, and good luck.
your boyfriend isn't a good one if he wants to get you pregnant at a young age
Dont be scare honey, If you are pregnant and want to keep the baby and have your boyfriend's support you will be fine. You wont loose your family, they might get upset at the beginning but your parents will be crazy over their grandchild, and once you have the baby that will be your family so you are not loosing one you are gaining a new family. Take care, go to the doctor and dont be upset its not good for you.
one thing is not to get yourself so worked up sit down and clear ur mind.
1st thing do a test. (you can take a pee sample into ur doctors and they will do it for free).
2nd once you got the results then you can start to think about it.
you have already made your minds up i think. and if your are pregnant its really not a bad thing i got pregnant at 17 i have 2 kids now and still with my partner after 9yrs I'm not saying its easy cos its really not but if your boyfriend is willing to standby you its all a good start. as long as you want it.
good luck
x x x x x
You're probably not pregnant. There are only 2-3 days a month when a woman can get pregnant (it's harder than you think). Don't say anything to your family until you know for sure. Go to a clinic and get a blood test, which is the most definite way to know if you are or are not pregnant. If you are pregnant, then step one is done: you have made the decision to keep the baby. Your family will be very disappointed in you, as they should be, but they will eventually get over it and forgive you and love your baby. The guy will disappear within years and you will lose out on all the wonderful opportunities in life that you could have had. Your life will be ruined. There, now if you're not pregnant you can stop screwing around until you're ready to accept the consequences. Honey, sex ain't worth it at your age because you have too much to look forward to, and kids are too much responsibility. Stop screwing around, and if you are pregnant, maybe you need to re-think the abortion option. Or at least adoption. You will lose out on so much. Good luck.
I've had condoms break. I don't know what that other person was talking about but I've had several of them break on us. I am allergic to many forms of birth control and so we choose to use condoms to save the reactions and if we get pregnant than so be it. However I am an adult and in a stable relationship that I've worked on for a few years now. Anyhow you would be surprised at how supportive your family could really be. :) So if you are pregnant then I'm sure your family will be a bit ticked off in the beginning but they'll come around. I would wait a few days before your period is supposed to come and then take another urine test. If that comes out negative then I'd bet that you aren't pregnant but if you're still feeling dizzy and stuff you should call your local planned parenthood and see if you can get in and have a test done. And try to remain on birth control because while having a baby sounds okay right now, you do have a future to look out for and you should finish school at least before you have a baby. Your boyfriend sounds like a good guy and I'm glad he's supportive of you. :)
Do another pregnancy test to be sure.
As for the condom splitting, let me enlighten you.
Guys don't like having sex with an overcoat on.
They will pinch little holes in the condom so
it will split. I know, I use to do it. Then they can say well it's not my fault the condom split and you will be understanding.
The best way to not get pregnant is don't do it.
I hope things work out for you.
My middle daughter had a baby at 16. We weren't pleased when we found out she was pregnant but we helped her. She had the baby right before her junior year of high school started. I worked nights so I kept him during the day while she attended school.
When he got old enough to where he wasn't sleeping as much during the day, I quit my job so he wouldn't have to go to day care.
She graduated with the rest of her class and now 6 years later she is an office manager for a large company. She and the babies father did not make it as a couple but she mat a wonderful man 5 years ago and they have been married for 4 years. They are expecting her third child in January.
No your parents aren't going to be happy with you but they will adjust. The choice is your as to what you want to do. But don't plan on the babies father being with you forever. You are only 16 and it is a lot to take on. I love my grandson who is now 8 and wouldn't trade the experience for anything.
Hello. I have a 4 month old, and I am only 19 years old. Although everyone will tell you you are too young to have a baby, it can be done and you can be a great mother. Whatever you do, stay in school. Before you get all nervous about being pregnant, just wait until you're supposed to get your period and see if it will come. You can experience pregnancy symptoms just because you're worried/stressed. Don't tell your parents until you know for sure. When you tell them, if they truly love you, you will not lose them and they will support you no matter what. I wish you the best of luck and if you are pregnant, you should keep it and be the best mother you're capable of. I'll say a prayer.
Sorry. you have to tell your parents. there's no way around that. just remember that parents are people too and as much as you love this baby they love you 100 times more. You'll be fine.
Now, think about what you have just told us.. your boyfriend wants have a baby because his dad was no good. Does that sound like a good reason to you? It takes sooooo much more to be a good parent than just wanting it. It takes money, time and maturity. Just to name a few of the things you need to have in order. It's not a baby's job to live up to your boyfriends expectations of what a family should be. Kids WILL disappoint you. It's what they do. I'm not saying that you and your boyfriend wont be good parents. You may be. Just don't have this baby so that your life will be better. That's not fair to the baby. Being a parent is about giving to another person and expecting nothing in return. you may never get anything in return and that has to be okay with you. Tell your parents! they will be able to help you and they have a right to know that they will be grandparents. This is a whole family, not just you and your boyfriend.
good luck.
Well unfortunately all you can do is wait. You have to wait and take another test. In the meantime be more careful. If they keep breaking switch brands. And maybe you don't have enough lubucation. You can not take birth control until you know for sure. If you do and you are pregnant, it will hurt the baby and your doctor will tell you that you need to get and abortion. It kinda sounds like you are letting him decide your feelings for you. You don't say how YOU feel about it, just how he feels. While it is important for you to consider his feelings, it is your body, and your decision. I know you don't think so, but there is a chance of him running away anyway. My sister had a baby with a guy that was 14. He said he wanted the baby and was so excited. He was around for about 3 months after the baby was born. Then he realized how much he was missing in life. He hasn't seen or talked to his daughter in over a year now! Honestly hunny, you aren't ready. You have plenty of time and so does he. You might WANT a baby. But you can't take care of a baby. At this age you can't take care of yourself! You can't get a place to live, have job and daycare and groceries and diapers and a car and gas and still finish school! How would you get to all your appointments? Can you drive? I am 20 in 6 days and I've been on my own (my own place, job and car.) And I'm not ready! Please be more careful! I know this sounds like a lecture and I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but you might need to. I am here. (stuck at home 38 weeks pregnant all day!) If you need to talk to some one. I promise not to act like a mom, just support. E-mail me ANYTIME with anything!
(click my picture and then click e-mail)
I'm not going to preach to you about not having sex until you're ready to deal with the responsibilities of having a baby, but I will say that no matter what else you do with your life from now on it WILL have an effect on your baby. That is, if you are pregnant. If the test came out negative you may be sick and dizzy simply because you're stressing out about the possibility of being pregnant. If you're not pregnant you should consider this a major warning sign. If you're not ready to have a baby, then either get on the pill and wait the proper amount of time for the pill to become fully effective or don't have sex right now. There are other ways to have an enjoyable sexual relationship with your boyfriend without ever risking becoming pregnant. Seriously think about what will happen if you are pregnant. You will have to pay for regular doctor's visits, tests, and ultrasounds. If you can't afford it, or your parent's insurance won't cover it, then you may have to get government help. Either way your parents will have to know. You'll also have to get maternity clothes, which are REALLY expensive unless you know someone who can give you some hand-me-downs. If your parents don't make too much money to get on Medicaid and W.I.C. then you'll have some financial assistance for the proper foods and supplements you'll need while you're pregnant and some essentials for your baby's first year. Unless you know some friends and family with either used baby items they can give you or some people that can afford to buy things for you, you'll have to buy a crib, changing table, 1,000's (literally) of diapers, lots of formula, clothes, toys, and on and on and on..
If your boyfriend is really willing to be a good dad and husband, does he have a job that pays him enough to pay for rent, electricity, water, food (if you do it cheap you may get by with $400/month for food), gas in a car to get to work, car payment, auto insurance, health insurance? Will there be enough extra in case the car needs an oil change, or one of you needs some cold medicine or new shoes or clothes to wear to work. Not to mention daycare. Daycare for a baby less than 6 months old is usually either impossible to find or super expensive. After 6 months it will cost anywhere from $75/week to $175/week from what I've seen in a few states. Average cost is about $125/week.
Take it from someone who has been through some very hard times, the best thing you can possibly do is not get pregnant until you have been successful enough in your own life to be able to take care of the above expenses on your own. The second best thing is to have a boyfriend or husband who can take care of everything without being resentful about it. The third best thing is to have family and friends who are willing and able to take care of you and the baby.
Above all else you have to realise that whatever happens your family will be a part of your life and the baby's life whether you tell them or not. Trust me, eventually they'll find out no matter how hard you try to convince them that baggy clothes really are in style. ;)
If you know your parents love you, then you can rest assured they will love you when you're pregnant, and they will love their grandchild just as much. Once parents know they are becoming grandparents they'll go through a few different stages. The first is disbelief. They'll probably want several test results. Then they may get angry. They may get REALLY angry at your boyfriend and blame the whole thing on him and try to ban him from ever seeing you again. As long as your boyfriend is respectful and understanding of their feelings and continues to make every effort to be supportive of you, eventually your parents will calm down enough to start accepting him as an important part of the family. Just realise that they have a right to be upset even if their anger is a little bit misplaced at first. It won't be long before grandparent fever overtakes them, and whether they want to or not, they'll start getting excited about the arrival their grandchild.
Whatever happens just be honest with yourself, your boyfriend, your parents, and possibly your baby. If you need any advice, support, information, or anything else, there is a link to my email available. I'll be honest, sometimes brutally honest, but never judgemental or mean. Good luck. (and keep breathing, it helps)
If you are pregnant you won't lose your family. You'll have some awkward and maybe unpleasant moments right after you tell your parents, but you won't lose them. (If, by any chance, they are off-the-wall enough to be so unsupportive of a young girl in trouble - and you are in trouble no matter whether this is 2006 or not - then you wouldn't be losing much.)
Your mother won't kill you. She will be upset, but she'll deal with it. Yes - you'll have to listen to her being upset for a while, but if you're grown up enough to have sex you are grown up enough to listen to some words you'd rather not have to listen to.
Wait to see if you miss your period before getting all worried about being pregnant. Take a home pregnancy test, and if it comes out positive set up an appointment with a doctor right away. You're young. You'll be a high-risk pregnancy. If you find out for sure you're pregnant just tell your mother. Too many times girls are so afraid to tell their mother they just pretend not to be pregnant, have the baby, don't know what to do with it, and murder it. Get the ugly task of telling your mother over with as soon as you know for sure you're pregnant.
Your boyfriend probably means well and probably will try to be a good father. Whether or not he will be capable of that could be a different thing. One disadvantage to being unmarried and pregnant is that there's a good chance you and your boyfriend will break up, and you'll have the problem of having to think about any new boyfriends while also having the baby's father around visiting the baby.
The families I know who have a teenager who has a baby always end up loving and enjoying the baby. There are problems because the grandmother wants to tell the girl what to do with the baby (and she may be right), but the baby's mother resents it. I don't know of a situation where the father and mother of the baby have stayed together. Usually, both go on and find other boyfriends and girlfriends and have babies with them. That's not how it always goes, but it goes that way quite often. People somehow muddle through, though.
The person who will end up being the support you need is most likely going to be your mother - not just now, and not just when the baby is first born, but probably for a good 18 years or longer. If you are pregnant you are going to have to become a grown-up really fast, so you may as well start now by telling your mother as soon as you know if you're pregnant.
If you're not pregnant think about how scared you are right now, and maybe make good and sure no "accidents" can happen again. If a condom split once, and you went ahead and took a chance on another one without having back-up for it that tells you that either you are not sensible enough to be having sex or else you secretly hoped to get pregnant. The thing about your boyfriend wanting you to have a baby shouldn't be the point. He isn't going to end up taking the risk of having a baby at 16. In fact, you don't think so now, but he probably isn't going to end up with you or the baby no matter what he may believe now. Just because he wants to see if he can be a better father and iron out whatever issues he has because he had a father who failed isn't a reason for you, yourself, to let a pregnancy happen. You need to take care of you.
I have said what I've said here in an attempt to reassure you if you are pregnant, but I've also said what I've said here in case you aren't pregnant. I don't flatter myself into thinking you'll listen to what I say, but if you're not pregnant I hope you will at least consider it and don't short-change yourself and any baby by getting pregnant until you're at least over 21.
I've been close enough to a couple of families who had girls who got pregnant at 16 to know that while families muddle through and love the babies it is a complicated and difficult situation that makes people think about how the young mother and her baby both deserve better.
Good luck. Tell your mother right away if you are. You won't lose your family.
hey im 16 to im 26 weeks pregnant u need to go to the doc and get a real pregnancy test done ur family might get really mad like mine i got kicked out but they cant stay mad 4 ever my mom came a round a couple of weeks later and now im having a baby girl it will all be better it just might get a little rough first
Listen my little sis got pregnant at 14 (how sad is that) but if you are pregnant you aren't going to be the first or the last to get pregnant at a young age. Like my mom tells my sister one baby is nothing you can move and still finish school just don't have baby after baby because then the baby's suffer more than you.
I'm going to tell you that its going to be hard with out your family's support yes they are going to be mad at first but after that baby come and they take one look at her/him they are going to melt and you know it.
One more think if you are old enough to have sex then you are old enough to sit down with your parents and tell them whats going on. That's what I told my sis and she did it she went up to them and told them. But whats the worse it that can happen them kicking you out find a friend or come to think of it talk to your boyfriend about that.
All I can really say is I understand where you are coming from but now you have to stan up for your baby not you anymore, but your baby comes first since day 1. So think about it and be an adult talk to your parents. Good Luck
I've been there i was 16 when i fell pregnat i was scared to tell my mum cause i thought she would kill me at first she was mad but she some calmed down talk to your doctor they will help remember family is inportent boyfriends come and go i do hope you and your boyfriend are strong together cause then you will be ok also when it comes to tell your mum ask your boyfriend to be with you
If you are pregnant tell your family as soon as possible. It will give them more time to get used to the idea. The longer you leave it before telling them the longer you will be without their support. Being pregnant isn't the end of the world but something that should be cherished. Once your family come round to the idea you can start to enjoy it coz it's a miracle!
how long ago did this happen if its less than 3 days ago then the morning after pill will still be effective
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