Will having babies change who I am?
I like who I am now; I'm adventurous and sporty, I love travelling and going out with friends. I don't want to turn into a suburban mum who pushes a pram about, gets all drab and boring and does nothing but housework. What a nightmare!
I don't really want to have kids because I think it will mean the end of my life as I want to live it and the end of all my dreams of travel and adventure, but my boyfriend is going to want them someday so I'm trying to figure out if I can cope with it.
Answers:
I don't think you are ready to have children.yet. Live your life as you want to for a while, enjoy your freedom and explore the wonderful world we live in. One day, it might occur to you that you're actually missing something in your life - children.
And, excuse me, but I am far from drab and boring - I have two beautiful children, just 3 and 19 months, run my own business from home, have time for gardening, shopping and lunch with friends.
It also helps if you are financially secure. I didn't have babies until I was in my late 30s a) because I hadn't met the right man, b) because I couldn't afford to have them and c) because I hadn't finished enjoying myself yet.
You don't say how old you are but you sound young. Live your life until you're ready and enjoy yourself!
yes you have to take care of the baby in other words you have a responsibiltiy
Will having babies change your life? Only completely.
Not WHO you are but more the way you behave. If you feel you are not right for babies yet, then that's fine. It's not compulsory to have children.
yes, it will change who you are. You can still the same person but at the same time you cant because there is a child to think about. If you dreams are to travel and go on adventures, i suggest take these up now before having children. Even thou many have still travelled with children, it can become a lot more harder with their schooling and safety to think about.
Having babies will absolutely change your life. And, yes, it will tie you down physically, and strain you in every way, including financially. Your present dreams might never materialize after you have babies, or some of them only will, but much later.
However... Nothing in the whole world could compare with being a parent. You will experience emotions at a level deeper than anything else might give you, joy, pride, angst, altruism, love. And you will touch eternity when you procreate.
Oh yea definately. If you don't want to have kids, don't. You'll not be doing anyone any favors by forcing yourself to do something that goes against your nature.
Every person is differant. There is no reason why you cant have an active lifestyle with children. Some people don't change that much and some do. Have children when you are ready. You sound like you are young and it's normal to want to have fun at that age but many times, priorities and desires do change as you get older.
I have 2 kids, 12 and 8 and even when they were younger, we were all out and about exploring, camping etc. I still go out with friends and entertain alot as well. My life certainly is not boring.
yes your life changes.but not the way that you are thinking. my husband and i still do what we want to do and we have two children. now we have to take them into consideration before we do anything. if it is something we want to do alone than we make plans to do so. if it is something like an amusement park we had to wait for him to get older. now we are waiting again. for the older part. the older a child gets the easier it is to travel i can say that. we take at least a trip to see family a year so, we know that we need to plan ahead.
i can say that children take the spontaneity out of things. instead of doing things in the moment you have to plan ahead.
to me that is how my life is changed.
i still have to clean the house, wake the dog, pay the bills.i just have companydoing so.
No, only YOU can change who you are however having a baby is not with out responsibility. Having said that babies can fit easily into your life if you establish a routine and are consistent with it. I think it is great that you are thinking about it and making an informed decision. When I had my kids I established their routine and although some people think of it as regimented it worked for me and the baby, they (yes all of them) slept through the night from 6 weeks, often needed to be woken for a feed and were very contented. I went where and when I wanted, making sure that I was well organized and ready only took an extra few minutes. I'm not saying its easy, it is a big adjustment but you can do it if you want to and if you decide that you don't then don't and there is nothing wrong with your decision, babies are not for everyone. Mine are all grown up now but I still remember the looks i got when out and about one.. in the pram, one holding each side and the oldest holding hands with a sibling..yes 4 15 months apart.
Not every mother experiences a strong bond with their child. I've read about them, holding the baby and just not feeling anything for it. You say you don't want kids, who knows, maybe for you the experience will be similar to the women I read about.
At the same time, I think that a lot is down to you. If you want, you can bond with the child, play with it, feed it, and it will really reward you, because it will recognise you as it's mother. I think it's up to you to decide when you're ready though. If you just have a baby and expect it to revolutionise your life, you may be disappointed. You should make your boyfriend understand how you feel about having children whatever happens. Don't let him pressure you!
It will not change you, if anythng it will enhance your life. Children are seen asa blessing from God, not everyone is blesses to have children ya know.
Of course yes. Motherhood is a wonderful trnasformation to a loving, caring and devoteful life to the babies. Babies are God and devoting to Babies is a wonderful experience. Maturity comes by age and devotion comes by experience.
Definitely!! But its great!
well.. if you are only going to get preg for your boyfriend and not for yourself .don't do it but.. if you think you can handle it than go ahead and do it but it will change your lifestyle somewhat
I have one child, he changed me as far as I had to grow up , but I was still able to travel , and enjoy my life, with him being there.it made it more enjoyable to have him with me when we were traveling, camping, going to the beach, etc. We have wonderful memories since he was a child, he had a happy childhood. How many kids can say that?
yes of course it will! as with every life stage, your body will change and your lifestyle will change whether you want it to or not
This is a REALLY GOOD QUESTION...I'm glad someone asked it, I used to have nightmares about this.
If you don't feel like having kids, then DEFINTELY don't, you won't have the patience for it. Kids need all of your attention and devotion.
You may NEVER be ready for kids. And maybe your boyfriend won't want them right now either.
You can ALWAYS adopt a kid later on in life.
This subject is REALLY scary to me too.
I had my first child at 19 and now at 22 i am pregnant with my second child.I do not regret having my child so young and it does not stop you from having a life. But wait until you are ready. Having a child is a wonderful experience and you should treasure every moment as they grow up fast. Wait and experience what you want to do with your life. Remember you can control when you have your children.
My advice to u is DON'T! Life @ the moment is all about u. Ur not ready for such commitment, maybe later in life when ur older
I cant understand why you are asking this,if you want children you will have to dedicate your life to them and not you self
not a parent but yeah it will cause you are responsible for another human being for 18+ years
u should take care of ur baby.
read a book called 'child free and loving it' then have a think about what you really want in life. i have decided i dont want children because i believe and my job (as a children's social worker) has demonstrated to me that you really cant 'have it all' as a mother. people who say, i still have this and do this as before, are not putting their children first and if you have children they have to come first and you have to sacrifice part of your present lifestyle to accommodate them. i decided i didnt want to have children because i am not prepared to sacrifice any part of my lifestyle at present. i look for men who dont want children and now i have made this decision feel very relieved.
yes kids do change your life. when i told my friend i was pregnant he said oh my god your life is over, but its not over it just means that you enjoy different experiences. life is wonderful with children there is never a dull moment
You don't have to change anything ~ you just have to be willing to make room in your life to care for your child. Be sporty, continue to travel, go out with friends. It's all about balance. I go out with my girlfriends every few weeks. My husband and I go on a "Mom & Dad" vacation at least once a year. There's no rule that says you have to hibernate for 18 years after you have a child. In fact, it's better for your kids (in my opinion) for them to see you having an active life.
the responsibility of a child will change your way of life but you can still do tons of things, by the time you have a child you wont want to go galivanting so much a baby is so forfilling and hard work you wont have time for yourelf for a while if this still makes you feel its not worth it then tell your boyfriend as soon as possible let him have the choice,
Well, Having children will change some things. You have to decide which is more important to you. There are lots of things I used to enjoy before I had my son, hes 2 and a half now, I do miss those things but theyve been replaced by new joys of parenting and raising a beautiful child. You dont sound like youre ready to make any sacrifices in order to have children. If you arent ready, dont do it. Your children will suffer. Dont do things youre not ready to do just to make someone else happy. If he truly loves you he will understand where youre coming from. If your dreams are different from your boyfriends dreams you just may not be compatable. Best of luck to you!
yes children will change who you are
they demand alot of attion alot of time alot of love
when i had my kids i was more tired and stayed alot busyer
but wouldnt change a thing
it does not mean that your life is over it just mean you have more to enjoy
if you are pregnant or you do become pregnant keep it and enjoy the life you have with baby it is so special
Having babies will change you into a mother.
Children are the fruit of the love between a husband and wife. (At least, that's the way it is supposed to be.) If you or your husband are putting yourselves first, then there is no love and if there's no love, then you cannot have love for children.
Make a choice--things for yourself or working hard at being a good wife and mother.
You're not even married. You shouldn't even be having sexual relations.
Yes having a child will change your life forever but only for the betterjust because you have a child doesnt mean you have to become a recluse take your baby with you and do things as a family,you shouldnt start a family if ur not sure thats not fair on either yourself or your child
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I don't really want to have kids because I think it will mean the end of my life as I want to live it and the end of all my dreams of travel and adventure, but my boyfriend is going to want them someday so I'm trying to figure out if I can cope with it.
Answers:
I don't think you are ready to have children.yet. Live your life as you want to for a while, enjoy your freedom and explore the wonderful world we live in. One day, it might occur to you that you're actually missing something in your life - children.
And, excuse me, but I am far from drab and boring - I have two beautiful children, just 3 and 19 months, run my own business from home, have time for gardening, shopping and lunch with friends.
It also helps if you are financially secure. I didn't have babies until I was in my late 30s a) because I hadn't met the right man, b) because I couldn't afford to have them and c) because I hadn't finished enjoying myself yet.
You don't say how old you are but you sound young. Live your life until you're ready and enjoy yourself!
yes you have to take care of the baby in other words you have a responsibiltiy
Will having babies change your life? Only completely.
Not WHO you are but more the way you behave. If you feel you are not right for babies yet, then that's fine. It's not compulsory to have children.
yes, it will change who you are. You can still the same person but at the same time you cant because there is a child to think about. If you dreams are to travel and go on adventures, i suggest take these up now before having children. Even thou many have still travelled with children, it can become a lot more harder with their schooling and safety to think about.
Having babies will absolutely change your life. And, yes, it will tie you down physically, and strain you in every way, including financially. Your present dreams might never materialize after you have babies, or some of them only will, but much later.
However... Nothing in the whole world could compare with being a parent. You will experience emotions at a level deeper than anything else might give you, joy, pride, angst, altruism, love. And you will touch eternity when you procreate.
Oh yea definately. If you don't want to have kids, don't. You'll not be doing anyone any favors by forcing yourself to do something that goes against your nature.
Every person is differant. There is no reason why you cant have an active lifestyle with children. Some people don't change that much and some do. Have children when you are ready. You sound like you are young and it's normal to want to have fun at that age but many times, priorities and desires do change as you get older.
I have 2 kids, 12 and 8 and even when they were younger, we were all out and about exploring, camping etc. I still go out with friends and entertain alot as well. My life certainly is not boring.
yes your life changes.but not the way that you are thinking. my husband and i still do what we want to do and we have two children. now we have to take them into consideration before we do anything. if it is something we want to do alone than we make plans to do so. if it is something like an amusement park we had to wait for him to get older. now we are waiting again. for the older part. the older a child gets the easier it is to travel i can say that. we take at least a trip to see family a year so, we know that we need to plan ahead.
i can say that children take the spontaneity out of things. instead of doing things in the moment you have to plan ahead.
to me that is how my life is changed.
i still have to clean the house, wake the dog, pay the bills.i just have companydoing so.
No, only YOU can change who you are however having a baby is not with out responsibility. Having said that babies can fit easily into your life if you establish a routine and are consistent with it. I think it is great that you are thinking about it and making an informed decision. When I had my kids I established their routine and although some people think of it as regimented it worked for me and the baby, they (yes all of them) slept through the night from 6 weeks, often needed to be woken for a feed and were very contented. I went where and when I wanted, making sure that I was well organized and ready only took an extra few minutes. I'm not saying its easy, it is a big adjustment but you can do it if you want to and if you decide that you don't then don't and there is nothing wrong with your decision, babies are not for everyone. Mine are all grown up now but I still remember the looks i got when out and about one.. in the pram, one holding each side and the oldest holding hands with a sibling..yes 4 15 months apart.
Not every mother experiences a strong bond with their child. I've read about them, holding the baby and just not feeling anything for it. You say you don't want kids, who knows, maybe for you the experience will be similar to the women I read about.
At the same time, I think that a lot is down to you. If you want, you can bond with the child, play with it, feed it, and it will really reward you, because it will recognise you as it's mother. I think it's up to you to decide when you're ready though. If you just have a baby and expect it to revolutionise your life, you may be disappointed. You should make your boyfriend understand how you feel about having children whatever happens. Don't let him pressure you!
It will not change you, if anythng it will enhance your life. Children are seen asa blessing from God, not everyone is blesses to have children ya know.
Of course yes. Motherhood is a wonderful trnasformation to a loving, caring and devoteful life to the babies. Babies are God and devoting to Babies is a wonderful experience. Maturity comes by age and devotion comes by experience.
Definitely!! But its great!
well.. if you are only going to get preg for your boyfriend and not for yourself .don't do it but.. if you think you can handle it than go ahead and do it but it will change your lifestyle somewhat
I have one child, he changed me as far as I had to grow up , but I was still able to travel , and enjoy my life, with him being there.it made it more enjoyable to have him with me when we were traveling, camping, going to the beach, etc. We have wonderful memories since he was a child, he had a happy childhood. How many kids can say that?
yes of course it will! as with every life stage, your body will change and your lifestyle will change whether you want it to or not
This is a REALLY GOOD QUESTION...I'm glad someone asked it, I used to have nightmares about this.
If you don't feel like having kids, then DEFINTELY don't, you won't have the patience for it. Kids need all of your attention and devotion.
You may NEVER be ready for kids. And maybe your boyfriend won't want them right now either.
You can ALWAYS adopt a kid later on in life.
This subject is REALLY scary to me too.
I had my first child at 19 and now at 22 i am pregnant with my second child.I do not regret having my child so young and it does not stop you from having a life. But wait until you are ready. Having a child is a wonderful experience and you should treasure every moment as they grow up fast. Wait and experience what you want to do with your life. Remember you can control when you have your children.
My advice to u is DON'T! Life @ the moment is all about u. Ur not ready for such commitment, maybe later in life when ur older
I cant understand why you are asking this,if you want children you will have to dedicate your life to them and not you self
not a parent but yeah it will cause you are responsible for another human being for 18+ years
u should take care of ur baby.
read a book called 'child free and loving it' then have a think about what you really want in life. i have decided i dont want children because i believe and my job (as a children's social worker) has demonstrated to me that you really cant 'have it all' as a mother. people who say, i still have this and do this as before, are not putting their children first and if you have children they have to come first and you have to sacrifice part of your present lifestyle to accommodate them. i decided i didnt want to have children because i am not prepared to sacrifice any part of my lifestyle at present. i look for men who dont want children and now i have made this decision feel very relieved.
yes kids do change your life. when i told my friend i was pregnant he said oh my god your life is over, but its not over it just means that you enjoy different experiences. life is wonderful with children there is never a dull moment
You don't have to change anything ~ you just have to be willing to make room in your life to care for your child. Be sporty, continue to travel, go out with friends. It's all about balance. I go out with my girlfriends every few weeks. My husband and I go on a "Mom & Dad" vacation at least once a year. There's no rule that says you have to hibernate for 18 years after you have a child. In fact, it's better for your kids (in my opinion) for them to see you having an active life.
the responsibility of a child will change your way of life but you can still do tons of things, by the time you have a child you wont want to go galivanting so much a baby is so forfilling and hard work you wont have time for yourelf for a while if this still makes you feel its not worth it then tell your boyfriend as soon as possible let him have the choice,
Well, Having children will change some things. You have to decide which is more important to you. There are lots of things I used to enjoy before I had my son, hes 2 and a half now, I do miss those things but theyve been replaced by new joys of parenting and raising a beautiful child. You dont sound like youre ready to make any sacrifices in order to have children. If you arent ready, dont do it. Your children will suffer. Dont do things youre not ready to do just to make someone else happy. If he truly loves you he will understand where youre coming from. If your dreams are different from your boyfriends dreams you just may not be compatable. Best of luck to you!
yes children will change who you are
they demand alot of attion alot of time alot of love
when i had my kids i was more tired and stayed alot busyer
but wouldnt change a thing
it does not mean that your life is over it just mean you have more to enjoy
if you are pregnant or you do become pregnant keep it and enjoy the life you have with baby it is so special
Having babies will change you into a mother.
Children are the fruit of the love between a husband and wife. (At least, that's the way it is supposed to be.) If you or your husband are putting yourselves first, then there is no love and if there's no love, then you cannot have love for children.
Make a choice--things for yourself or working hard at being a good wife and mother.
You're not even married. You shouldn't even be having sexual relations.
Yes having a child will change your life forever but only for the betterjust because you have a child doesnt mean you have to become a recluse take your baby with you and do things as a family,you shouldnt start a family if ur not sure thats not fair on either yourself or your child
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