What is the funniest thing your child has said?
Answers:
he wasnt my child but i brought him up as my own as my mum was is he used 2 say and i have no idea were he got it from
awochamacallitanogimiflip!!
I was explaining to my daughter who is 11 about aunty josie who is a lesbian. she had just started seeing a man and this puzzled her. when she asked i explained that josie liked men and women. she answered 'oh i know about them, she's a transvestite!' lol
A friend's little girl pointing at an old man "look! He spent too long in the bath as well!". Thankfully the man didn't hear.
We had friends over with their 4 year old & somehow the guy got clipped in the testicles & grabbed his crotch & fell over wimpering - his daughter kindly advises us that "daddy doesn't like being hit in the tenticles".
My friends son said whilst looking out the window at the bird tree hanger, 'look mum, there are some (blue)**** on my nuts!' Oh Dear!!!lol!
WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS 5 YEARS OLD (NOW 7 YEARS OLD) WE HAD 2 GERBILS CHAN (FEMALE) AND NORRIS (MALE) THEY WERE ALWAYS AT IT (SEX) OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR COME IN TO THE HOUSE AND NOTICED WHAT THEY WERE DOING,MY 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TURNED ROUND TO OUR NEIGHBOUR LOOKED AT HER AND SAID ORR !! POOR CHAN SHE'S ALWAYS GETTING SHAGGED BY NORRIS,SHE MUST HAVE OVER HEARD US AND ASSUMED IT MEANT FIGHTING ?
actually, yeaterday when I took my son to preschool the air was smelly fom the dairy fam nearby, and my son said "ewww, smells like the horse pooped! He need to poop in the toilet!"
They say so many funny things it is hard to remember them all! Last week I took my six year old to the eye doctor for an exam, and when they put the owl eyes in front of her and did the "Which one is better, 1 or 2?" thing, she answered the first few and then she said "Actually, neither of those is very comfortable for me"..the doctor, my husband and I all started laughing!
father ,WHY are you not a responsible father and tell sister not o chat in the internet with unknown people?
When my daughter was 11 months (she's only 13 months now) my dad was over and asked me if I had a stockpot. She tried to say stock pot! Pot tot dot.
My daughter 8 asked me if she could get the latest barbie doll, when i said no because i had lots of debt and couldnt afford it she said "why dont you phone debt direct they'll help" Funny or a smart girl hmmm
MY 3 YR OLD NEW THING TO ASK EVERYONE IS " YOU PICKING YOUR A**?
On mothers day i was helping one of the children make a card she was drawing a picture of her mum and asked for a black crayon when I asked what she needed it for she said for her hair, I replied but your mum has blonde hair and the little girl replied "No its for her hair down there! Ive seen it!" well my face dropped and had to explain to her mum! Wasnt easy I can tell you!
My 4 year old son asked me if I took my boobs off at night when I go to bed. He has seen me take my bra off so I suppose he thought the boobs came off too. He also always asks me if I have a penis. When I tell him no, he says, "that's right mommy, you just have a fancy butt."
OMG! My sister's kids are the kids with the funniest lines sometimes! Her 7 year old told her teacher this year ( a rather portly lady I'm told) that she could be skinnier if she just had that baby! (She's not pregnant!)
Then her youngest went to preschool and told her teachers at share time i guess, that her mommy got new boobs 'cause her old ones deflated! (She's had surgery to enlarge them.LOL!!)
I'm so glad my kids don't say those things! LOL!! My youngest is nearly 5, and has still not grasped (or else it's just a habit) that the PORTA POTTY is not a PORKA POTTY. I chuckle at that one. porka potty..hehehe! Goofy kid!
God, my daughter comes out with so many I have to write them down or I forget them. The latest best was just towards the end of her potty training. Her dad had been away for work abroad for several weeks and had missed all the fun (I wish he'd been there to pick up the parcels), including the progress she'd made in her speech. Nevermind.
He normally wears boxer shorts, but that morning he decided to put on normal pants to take her to the loo. He was standing in front of her waiting for her to finish when she pointed at his pants and shouted "EEEEWWWW DADDY POOOOED PAAAANTS!"
He answered in complete shock "No Daddy didn't poo, Daddy's got extra bits, that's all!".
I thought I was going to choke, it took me ages to recover.
A really poetic one she came out with really early on was "Look, Mummy, ball!" while pointing at the moon. It's one of those that make you melt when it's your kid and probably puke when it's not your kid!
My sister kept coming out with good ones too, one of her best was to declare out loud at the doctors "I know why mummies take thair babies to the doctor's: it's because they can't take care of them, that's why".
Ooh, just remembered a great one! We were on holiday in Pembrokeshire and went on a boat trp around Ramsey Island. There were seals. Just to put things in perspective, we're French and speak French to our daughter most of the time.We don't want to seem rude to outsiders, so we will speak quite a bit of English to her when we're out. She therefore swaps between the two mid-sentence. So, we're on that boat and a seal swims up to us. And there she bellows "OH LOOK MAMAN, PHOQUE! PHOQUE MAMAN, LOOOOOOK! PHOQUE!!". The whole bloody boat turns over to stare at us, muderous looks ensue and there we are switching straight into French, as dead casual as we can "Oh, oui, il est joli le phoque. Tu dis bonjour au phoque? Bonjour Monsieur le phoque". The trip was over an hour and a half long, I could feel the pacemakers skipping a beat every time she screamed out "phoque".
When my son was 3 yrs old I put him in the bathtub with my infant daughter, as i am bathing the baby my son started panicking. He was very concerned looking in the water in the tub. I asked him what the problem was he responded that the baby lost her pee pee " penis" so he was going to find it for her. I never laughed so hard in my life
My whole family went out to dinner to celebrate my parents 40th wedding anniversary. We were all sitting at the table starting to eat our salad when my 4 year old nephew yells "where's my fork in knife?" We all looked at one another with our mouths wide open and said "what?" he repeated himself. Once we realized he didn't say "f*u*c*k*i*n knife we all started laughing.
We were sitting at the table eating dinner and my husband told my four year old son to finish eating and he looked at him in all seriousness and told him "Don't tell me what to do or I'll tear you apart like a piece of turkey!" Where do they get these things?
When my daughter was 18 months, I was coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee. She ran infront of me & I said,
'I nearly spilled my coffee over you!' She said, very sarcastically, 'Did you? Oh dear.'
You had to be there!
I took my 3 year old son to our local dog rescue shelter as I had been trying to explain about unwanted dogs etc, so I thought I'd go and show him. We were walking around the kennels, and it was very busy.when all of a sudden he shouted out "that silly dog is licking his big purple willy"! I looked round and there was a dog washing his bits, and clearly getting a bit aroused by it too! I was soooo embarrassed, but everyone else thought it was highly amusing!
When my son's was 2 and half years old (now he is 27 months old) his mother stopped breast feeding( this is the best age for leaving the breast feeding) and when i came from office he said to me papa bring the new mama as she does not give me milk, and she is not good. Bring the newone so i may take milk from her.
And one day my wife was feeling pain in her fat.My little nephew (5 years old) has said aunt is feeling pain in her fat, take him to doctor (as his mom had been a child just one month ago) may she give a child(as his mom did). It made all of us laughing.
It's not the funniest thing one of my kids has said but it's the one I can actually remember!
My daughter was 4 (now 23) and my family were at the dining table eating dinner. I asked if everyone had eaten sufficient. She howled at me that she hadn't eaten any and why she was left out! She thought 'sufficient' was a dessert!
we was standing at a bus stop , there was a fat man standing next to us and my 3 year old shouted wow mom look at that man's big belly it's all the way out here *while puffing out her cheeks with her arms streched out* . the man did't know where to look, and neither did i.
When I tell him no, he will look at me and say, "awww, poor me."
When I was pregnant with my third child, my son, who was five at the time, asked how women get milk in their breasts. I told him it was to hard to explain but that women were just amazing like that, he walked off looking puzzled and returned five minutes later looking rather pleased with himself . he then informed me he knew how we did it....women have mini cows in their boobs!! I'm still laughing!
My daughter of 20 months calls her fingers mingers.
TI-TS!! she is two...
she ran into my bedroom the other morning, hit me said up mum, then pulled back my covers, pointed and shouted TI-TS at top of her voice!
when visiting an eldery relative my daughter popped on her head the sick bowl and asked why they all had top hats was there a party the whole ward was brightend up by this
We were trying to get him to take his medicine and he said "is it really necessary?".at first we were shocked, then we started laughing.which made him laugh back at us, and that made it even funnier!
When my son was about 3 he jumped up from the chair shaking his arm shouting "my arm is dizzy" took me a while to work out that he had pins and needles haha
My best friend is pregnant..and it must excite my son cause he goes around telling everyone that Trudi is preggernant!
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