Trying to find the right guy?
k so im pregnant with his kid and everyone keeps telling me to move on.its been so hard getting the right guy and the one i fall madly in lovewith isnt him? he told me he loved me and would always be here for me and now hes gone and i cant find him.i love him with all my heart i know we were meant for each other but i dont know im just really confused. i have a picture of him above my bed and i pray every night that he will come back not just for me but for our baby
Answers:
Maybe he doesn't want to be an man and deal with the responsibility of helping you with the child. If that is the case you are better off without him. Your main priority should be your baby not him or yourself. Maybe in time he will realize what a mistake he is making not wanting to be part of his child's life, but right now just do what is best for your baby. Take care of yourself and your baby. God Bless!
Tinkerbell I feel your pain but if he doesn't want you then you can't make him want you sometimes it's just best to move on. But then some Guys don't like to be around when you're pregnant so just try to focus on your baby and if he's meant for you he'll come back to you. Have you ever heard that old saying if you let a bird fly free and it comes back to you then it's your forever. Good Luck
Getting pregnant is the worst thing you could have done. There was no reason to get pregnant except to trap a guy and they know that is true. All trust in the relationship is gone and how can a relationship grow. You might be ready for another child but he is not. If you were truly a couple in love, you would have make this decision together and planned a future.
hmm good luck
suprisingly you sound somewhat level headed in world full of "me first" females. because of this i will tell you:
the idea that someone must want to change in order to be more responsible is false.
your first priority is NOT the baby.
your priorities should be something like this:
1. GOD
2. family (and contrary to popular female opinion that puts you, your child and your childs fathers needs all on an equal level with the primary focus being that of your mate)
3. work and/or maintaing a safe household - if you are fortunate enough to have the resources to stay home then make your house a great one where a man and a child will be happy to live with you.
any man who has a woman with priorities like this by his side will eventually do anything to care for her and make her as happy as he can.
do not listen to the advice of a person who doesnt live these principles
dont give up on him because regardless of what anyone else will tell you, your baby is going to want to know their father and not just on the weekends or wednesday thru saturday or whatever.
most women say :
my kids come first.
what they really mean is that "i come first, my kids are the excuse i am choosing to use right now"
simply put, if the kid comes first then you do anything and everything in your power to keep a solid stable family. the only good reason to look for another way is when your partner will not be sexually faithful.
contrary to popular opinion every relationship is worth saving. even a physically abusive male can be rehabilitated to put his wife and children first, temporary seperation is probably required in that instance, but dont forget its up to you to support the man in your life as much as it is up to him to support anyone.
remember you want your child to be the kind of person who puts other people first. thats the true way to hapiness. if you want whats best for your child then teach him/her by example.
if your child realizes that you are the kind of person that will just move on when a situation becomes difficult then they will too. and someday their children will wonder where their father is.
if you can remember this during the hard times then you can successfully develop any man into the kind of guy who will spend all of his time supporting you and his baby.
if you choose to listen to the women who argue that it shouldnt be their responsibilty to do anything for a man then you will soon be joining them in long lines at the child support enforcement office, and like the rest of them you'll probably end up with nothing but a lifelong headache and an angry, violent, unhappy child who misses their father.
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Answers:
Maybe he doesn't want to be an man and deal with the responsibility of helping you with the child. If that is the case you are better off without him. Your main priority should be your baby not him or yourself. Maybe in time he will realize what a mistake he is making not wanting to be part of his child's life, but right now just do what is best for your baby. Take care of yourself and your baby. God Bless!
Tinkerbell I feel your pain but if he doesn't want you then you can't make him want you sometimes it's just best to move on. But then some Guys don't like to be around when you're pregnant so just try to focus on your baby and if he's meant for you he'll come back to you. Have you ever heard that old saying if you let a bird fly free and it comes back to you then it's your forever. Good Luck
Getting pregnant is the worst thing you could have done. There was no reason to get pregnant except to trap a guy and they know that is true. All trust in the relationship is gone and how can a relationship grow. You might be ready for another child but he is not. If you were truly a couple in love, you would have make this decision together and planned a future.
hmm good luck
suprisingly you sound somewhat level headed in world full of "me first" females. because of this i will tell you:
the idea that someone must want to change in order to be more responsible is false.
your first priority is NOT the baby.
your priorities should be something like this:
1. GOD
2. family (and contrary to popular female opinion that puts you, your child and your childs fathers needs all on an equal level with the primary focus being that of your mate)
3. work and/or maintaing a safe household - if you are fortunate enough to have the resources to stay home then make your house a great one where a man and a child will be happy to live with you.
any man who has a woman with priorities like this by his side will eventually do anything to care for her and make her as happy as he can.
do not listen to the advice of a person who doesnt live these principles
dont give up on him because regardless of what anyone else will tell you, your baby is going to want to know their father and not just on the weekends or wednesday thru saturday or whatever.
most women say :
my kids come first.
what they really mean is that "i come first, my kids are the excuse i am choosing to use right now"
simply put, if the kid comes first then you do anything and everything in your power to keep a solid stable family. the only good reason to look for another way is when your partner will not be sexually faithful.
contrary to popular opinion every relationship is worth saving. even a physically abusive male can be rehabilitated to put his wife and children first, temporary seperation is probably required in that instance, but dont forget its up to you to support the man in your life as much as it is up to him to support anyone.
remember you want your child to be the kind of person who puts other people first. thats the true way to hapiness. if you want whats best for your child then teach him/her by example.
if your child realizes that you are the kind of person that will just move on when a situation becomes difficult then they will too. and someday their children will wonder where their father is.
if you can remember this during the hard times then you can successfully develop any man into the kind of guy who will spend all of his time supporting you and his baby.
if you choose to listen to the women who argue that it shouldnt be their responsibilty to do anything for a man then you will soon be joining them in long lines at the child support enforcement office, and like the rest of them you'll probably end up with nothing but a lifelong headache and an angry, violent, unhappy child who misses their father.
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