How do I stop my 4 year old from coming into my bed in the middle of the night?
Answers:
Keep putting your child back into their bed when they come into yours. Eventually your child will realize that you are not going to give in and they'll stop. Its all about pushing buttons and seeing your reaction. If you let it continue happening, they'll continue doing it.
Get into his/hers!!
lock him in his room
Lock your door
rope is the only option-tie your child up!noseriously before you put him/her to bed spend 10 minutes talking via a teddy,when they go to sleep they will have peace f mind that the teddy is looking out for them,or at least i think it will be that easy.
tie him/her up
have you asked him why he comes to your bed ,is he upset when he comes, bad dream ,do he take naps ( that may need to be cut out, what is he watching on tv,does he just come or is it after he goes to bathroom you can come up with the answer once ask all th questions above
Velkens suggestion is good, I recommend joining a parents forum, get tons of advice and help on them, sorry I don't know any, but a friend swears by them
I'd try explaining to him/her that he/she is a big boy, or girl.never mind, let's just imagine your child's a "he" since I have a son too, lol. Okay, I'd explain to him that he's a big boy and can sleep in his own bed. Then I'd go to his bed, or bedroom together with him and talk about the room. Maybe it's too dark. Maybe the window's open and this weird sounding wind is coming in. Look at in it the dark.things look so much different (and better!) during the day. Kids' minds come up with so ideas or what the shadows hold. Try getting a bright nightlight that doesn't cast any weird shadows. Maybe you could even pick it out together.you get the idea. When you're sure that you've done as much as you can to make his bed a comfortable place, then make the transition. When he comes to your bed, listen to what he has to say, he had a bad dream or whatever, then walk him back to his room or bed, give him a quick kiss and hug. Don't stay too long. Keep on repeating it as often as needed and don't let him show that it's getting to you. Just be matter of fact about it. Tell him he can sleep in your bed once a week (can always move him later if you want!), or however often if he stays in his own bed. And be sure to tell him in the morning how pleased you are that he stayed in his bed! Best of luck to you!
Why is he/she coming into your bed ? Have you asked & how long has it been going on ? Did something prompt it ?
My advice, but you will need to be strong as you will be tired, is take your child back to their own bed each time they com e to you. Dont engage in conversation, just turn around & straight back each time.
You can discuss it during the day.
Maybe try a sticker chart, so if they stay in own bed they get a sticker, then 4 stickers in a row = treat. Something like that.
At 4 they should be old enough to understand why they should be in their own bed.
Obviosly he needs his mommy, just wait till he goes back to sleep then scoop him up and put him back in his own bed. I have five children and my fourth is 6 some mornings I walk out of my room to find him in the hall by my door, I know its because he needs to feel safe. I used to have to put him back in his own bed quite a few times per week and on some nights I didn't bother cause it's nice to cuddle your kids sometimes. Your child will stop doing this every night soon enough, meanwhile I suggest you enjoy the closeness while you can, they get too big to cuddle before you know it!
Why stop it?
Obviously, your child needs comfort. It's normal and natural for humans to sleep together in family groups. We've always done it until the past hundred years or so, and it hasn't done anything good for us. Meet your child's emotional needs. In the long run, he and you will be much happier for it.
Four year olds are not "BIG BOYS" and when they are told they are, the pressure and stress this puts on most of them is very damaging. They know they are not big, they don't feel big, and telling them they are big is the beginning (middle?) of lies told to kids to get them to stop needing mommy way before they actually stop needing mommy. There's nothing sadder than a tiny child being called a 'big boy.'
my health visitor recommended putting a stair gate over my childs bedroom door so they couldnt go wondering in the night . my 2 year old used to call out to me and I would respond my calling back get back to bed he cried for a few nights at the gate and used to fall asleep on the floor i put him back in bed. gladly after a few nights he doesnt bother getting up anymore
Everytime it happens, get up straight away & put the child back to its own bed. Eventually it will realise it is pointless coming through only to be put back.
i would love to know that answer as my 4 yr old is the same
All of my children tried this and I used this to stop them within 4 nights. Everytime they came in I would sit up in bed and give them a cuddle for a minute or so , then tell them it was time to go back to bed. I put them in and, of course they just got out again, so I picked them up and, standing up beside their bed, cuddled them again - but very slowly I released my grip on them so that they were having to hold on to me with only a little support from me and then I started to lean forward , only a little bit so that they felt 'insecure' and had to work hard to be comfortable. Eventually they got so tired andasked to go back to bed! I think the longest I had to stand there was about 20 mins and this got shorter with each night.
This way they did not feel as though they were being rejected as they were the ones who dictated that they wanted to get back in their own bed - with lots of praise. It worked permanently within 4 nights every time!
Good luck!
hi cazza,i totally agree with velka,put them straight back in there own bed,i did the same thing with my first child,i regret it now,it took me 4yrs to get him in his own bed,i had 3 other kids & never allowed it with them,biggest mistake i ever did letting my child sleep with me,it also caused lots of rows with me & o/h,
be persistant & patient,& calm
GOOD LUCK
you just have to persive and keep puting ur child in there own bed until they learn that they cant sleep with u. i no it probabley b a pain in the bum but it be worth it in the long run
If he only coming out of habit then be persistant in putting him back - he will soon get the message! You don't need to try verbal reasoning in the middle of the night. Everyone will be too sleepy to appreciate it and you'll end up frustrated. Just so long as he understands that he's loved lots but expected to stay in his own bed.
Maybe make bedtime more special or shop together for a new pillow case r cover that he'll want to sleep with. Any special toy you could make him the 'guard' off for the night and he needs to keep the toy company in bed? Children like a bit of responsibility.
If he's upset about something then you'd need to try and get to the root of the problem.
I deal with my children's bad dreams by giving the pillow a shake to get rid of the dreams and make them all fall on the floor. I then turn the pillow so any hangers on will be at the bottom. Still works even for my 7 year old!
It doesn't always take very much to pacify and re settle a child.
Hope it passes by soon!
I'd love to answer this question, but our 3 year old still refuses to leave our bed! :-( lol
My daughter used to do the same. I bought her a new bed and bedding to try and persuade her it was nicer than our bed and repeatedly put her in her room each time she came to ours. It spoilt my sleeping pattern but after 3 or 4 weeks it worked and hasn't come into our room since. Be patient and good luck.
Gosh this sounds familiar my 3 year old went through this you have to be firm and keep putting them back into
their own bed. I know sometimes it is easier just to give in but you must look at the bigger picture and a few nights of broken sleep is better than years of interrupted sleep. They will come in all the time if YOU let them. Stamp it out and be kind but firm they will love you for it in the end. You love them and want the best so they need a routine. Good luck x You need to break their habbit !
My 5 yr old does the same. She will go to bed in her own room and wake during the night and come and get in my bed with me. Personally i would not discourage this, I'm sure she will eventually manage to stay in her room for the whole night when she is ready.
I love her getting in my bed as long as i know she is comfortable i don't think its a problem!!
my son is almost five and still comes into our bed most nights. i blame myself for lying with him when he was younger. he has a sticker chart on his bedroom wall and gets one for everynight he stays in his own bed. at the end of each row, he gets a special treat. it has taken nearly 6 months but the last 2 weeks he has stayed in his own bed most nights. good luck!
there are alot of mix messages when it comes to letting your kids sleep with you,I look at it this way,they are only little for awhile and they stop coming in the bed when they get older anyways its not like they will come in the bed when theyre a teenager and older.they grow out of it trust me
lock your door good luck :)
Put him back into his own bed everytime he comes in to yours.
Don't make a big deal of it, when they fall asleep put them back in their own bed again and keep doing it every time they come in eventually they will get the hang of it plus they do grow out of it in time
you have to be consistent. When you give in, is when they will keep taking advantage. You need to make the child feel safe and perhaps go shopping for bedtime bear. Something to encourage him to sleep in his big boy bed.
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