I am 30 weeks pregnant, and scared stiff about the birth - is this normal?
I am worried silly about giving birth. Is it normal to be this aprehensive? It will be my first baby, and I truly don't think I can do it - stupid I know, as I have no choice!
Answers:
Aww bless - yes is it natural to feel frightened. However if you put it in perspective - millions of women give birth every day and not too many moan about it - most go on to do it time and time again so it cant be that bad can it. I have 2 children and can tell you that I was terrified of the first birth - believe me it isnt so bad. The fear of the unknown is what makes you scared. Imagine a very bad period pain and that is what a contraction is. Go with the gas and air and pethadine and you will sail through. My daughter gave birth 7 weeks ago and I was one of her birthing partners - she was just as scared as you and yet she did it just fine and now wants another . Good luck love and if you cant shake the fear have a little chat with your midwife about it and see if she cant help xx
It's not silly. It's what most women feel before giving birth the first time. Your body was made to give birth and you are perfectly capable of doing it. You can take birthing classes if you think it will help you feel more confident. Having a doula with you is also helpful. Good luck.
yep its normal, but there really is nothing u can do hun. Just enjoy the peace & quiet b4 baby comes, pamper urself! Good luck & just think every pain u have is well worth what you get at the end, ur beautiful baby xx hope all goes well
Everyone is scared.
I was in labor for 36 hrs and my epidural fell out and stopped working 2x.
No matter how hard that day was it was, hands down, the BEST day of my life.
The labor is painful so get your epidural as soon as possible. It stops the pain. The easy part is pushing out the baby.
I have never had a baby, but my mum says its like having a big poo! Seriously, some women even poo whilst giving birth. The oxygen stuff helps, but dosent kill all the pain and my mum said that when its all over, she felt as if it was worth it. So dont worry darling, you will be fine. And of course its usual to be a bit aprehensive, its a big stage in your life aint it, and it does hurt, so you are imaging the worst. But it has got to come out, so you just have to get used to that fact. Lets just hope your baby has a small head and non-wide sholders hey!
Goodluck and congratulations. x
Its perfectly normal to be scared!! Its fear of the unknown, cos you have never been through it before.
Discuss your fear with your midwife, she will have heard it a million times before, but she will be able to offer you better advice than you will get on here.
Failing that, ask about an elective caeserian section. You will be able to have the baby without feeling the pain.
Not advised as a first option, but if you really can't face the birth its something to think about.
its totally normal! dont worry you will be ok im 29 weeks on baby number 2 and im a bit aprehensive too but i know i get to see my baby at the end of it! just try not to let the worry rule you your birth may not be that bad ! a woman give birth up a tree in the tsunami and millions and millions of women have done it so it cant be that bad good luck xx
Totally normal. You'll never be fully prepared to what's coming up. It's an indescribable roller coaster and yes. it will hurt like you've never hurt before.
Yes. it will end and you will get over it and you will have the most precious thing you've ever had and your life will change forever.
Be scared. Be excited. Be anything you want to be.
Good luck!
you're not stupid of ocurse not. i knw people who have been in this situation and cried loads b4 giving birth coz they are dead scared of the experience coz they dont knw what its going to be like etc but hey ho, it'll all be worth it in the ned. make sure ur partner or mum or someone close is there with u to make u feel calm and relaxed and to help u feel ok. everything will be fine so pls dont panick. take it easy, u dont want to stress baby out do u now. once ur in labour, u wont even think about it. u'll be too excited to be worried sick of giving birth coz u will be giving birth. take care and dont worry x
as a 15 year old mother to be i am to a little scared..my family arnt helping, my mum tellin me all about the oain and everything sometimes i wish i could get a c section which at my age and size could be possible..but anywayz its worth the pain fear is only the beggining if going through that pains means i get to see my girl/boy ( not sure yet findin out 4th december woo ) i would go through it..your partner will support you and u can always get that long needle thing in the back of you to numb it a little
good luck!
i dont think you need to worry about the birth,its the next 18 years you have to worry about.
you do not have to wory about first time. i expect that it how all expectant mother are.
I would have to say yes. What woman wants to go through that pain!
Its normal, I was scared to death and thought of having a csection(which I wont anymore) just to not deal with the pain then I thought Im a grown woman and teenagers give bitrh so it cant be that bad, I stared doing research and reading and getting videos and now what can go wrong and what to expect, just educate yourself about it read birthstories so you know how diferent every birth is and you could be a little prepared for it.
Im also 30 weeks and a first time mom.
Its normal to be afraid of the unknown, you are not alone, get an exercising/stretching pose that works for you and imagine.
( good ones are when your legs are apart, try far apart)
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
congratulations. every woman is scared with the first baby. women have been having babies since the beginning of life. take the classes if they are offered in your area or talk to your midwife or doctor.they can answer your questions .it is a wonderful experience and you will be just fine.
Hiya
I can understand your apprehension I was terrified about giving birth to both my girls ,it is a big event .Everybody is different I would suggest having a good chat to your mother as it seems that birthing is a bit hereditary and she will be the best person to advise and support you .Also make sure that your midwives are easily approached and caring and supportive to talk through your fears .Have you visited the hospital you plan to deliver your beautiful bundle into and made a birth plan of what you would like to happen ,on a personal note I would say that after having my first birth monitered and being given heaps of painkillers ,the second which was totally natural and in a pool was a far better experience for me and my baby. Most of all try not too worry too much it can be a wonderful experience and very empowering and just think after a few hours you will be able to see and love your baby ,and get your body back .Sending you lots of good wishes xxxxx
oh of course its normal! im not even pregnant and scared about giving birth! its natural, but everyone says once they have actually given birth they forget about the pain and what it felt like - if it was really that painful how can women have more than one baby? wouldn't it put you off for life?!?!?!?! just enjoy it babe, my friend has just given birth and she said it was the best day of her life and would do it all again in a second! good luck and congratulations! xxxx
It's so normal. It will probably be painful, over before you know it and never remember the pain exactly. That's what I was told by my mother. I had a c-sect so I didn't have the same experience.
You CAN do it! We all get scared. I got pregnant and then wondered wether I really wanted to be and spent weeks worrying. When my baby was born it was like I'd always known him. Birth hurts and it's not called 'labour' for nothing. It's all consuming but your body is made to do it. Don't listen to scare stories, the dramatists of this world, especially other women. We are supposed to support each other not scare the living daylights out of a sister looking for encouragement! Really - if it takes ALL day to have your baby (and they won't let you go any longer) it's only a day out of your life, which is nothing compared to the life time you'll have the child. It was the best thing that ever happewned to me. AND I went on to have another!! Good Luck. Don' worry.
It is totally normal...It hurts and it is very very hard.
My mom was scared all five times. Take birthing classes if you haven't already.
I remember my sister-in-law told my brother half way through with my neice she changed her mind and with my nephew she started crying that my neice was too young and needed more time to be a baby (something that should have been considered prior to labor).
It is totally normal to be scared and excited. Talk to your doctor about what your fears are and be sure you have good support with you.
You can do it! I did it and I'm a wimp.
Try (and I know it's hard) not to get worked up about it. I have found with birth and with many things in life that the anticipation is MUCH WORSE than the actual event. I can promise you, you will say the same thing once you are holding your precious baby! If you can't get it out of your head that you are going to have a horribly painful birth, then you will absolutely create that. Try to change your thinking to more positive things and remember that your body is designed to have babies.giving birth is completely natural and normal. You can do it.give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself that millions women that aren't nearly as strong as you have done it, so you can too.
Get a CD/audiobook called "Pregnancy Relaxation" from Amazon. This contains a hypnotherapy technique that will really help you cope much better, and the birth should be easier too.
You are SO not alone in feeling this way about giving birth for the first time. You have reached out to this community for answers & I'm sure you will find many supportive responses. Keep asking for the support to get you thru the scary feelings. Talk to your doctor about your anxiety. Be explicit - explain all your feelings. Your doctor needs this information in order to help you thru the birth the best way he/she can. Discuss all the pain relieving options. I believe knowledge gives you a feeling of control. When you feel in control & you know how to go forward it isn't as scary. And if you are still scared let people know you need them. It's ok to ask for help & it's ok to accept it. Maybe concentrate on meeting the little "present" you have been waiting for, for so long. Also, the reality of giving birth is this: it hurts but, the pain ends & you have the most amazing feelings inside of you while holding this new life! Best wishes for a happy & healthy baby! Congratulations!
Don't worry! We all go through this!! I've had 4 children..and in the middle of giving birth to the last 3 I have said.WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF?! I can't do this.blah blah blah.The what if's and why's etc.it's completely normal and the nesting you've been doing.cleaning in the smallest of spots.with a toothbrush.all normal...when I was pregnant with my last child.I re tiled the kitchen, bathroom and pantry by myself while my husband was at work! Amazing what we do! GOOD LUCK!!
NOT stupid, not, not not, not, not. Say that over and over, and start believing it. It is not stupid for you to be having these fears. I feared labor and delievery with all three of my kids. Have you chosen yet if you are going to do natural or drug helped birth? Now is the time to be making those plans (when you plan for something you are a lot less fearful of it) Take some parenting classes, too. I am sure you will be an awesome mother, but it wouldn't hurt to take some of these classes (most hospitals offer them) Try lamaze too, while you are at it.
Most asurly, women have been giving birth for thousands of years, our bodies are made to do it.
Hi, Congratulations on your baby! Fear of delivery is very normal. Everwhere you go people share their horror stories," I was in labor for 3 days." THANKS ALOT! No wonder we are scared to death. Giving birth is an amazing thing that only we women do, AND as you know many women do give birth more than once. Thats the wonderful thing about it. At the end of this 9 months you finally get to see your baby and hold them and in a while you forget about all the fear and remember the joy of the baby. I personally believe that at the end of the pregnancy you are so big and uncomfortable that you will be sooooo ready to have this baby you will be saying , " I just want this baby to get here!" That's just my feeling and I've had two children. Just remember the Dr. and nurses are there to help. Get your epidural as soon as possible{ this is truely God's gift to women} and think about the beautiful baby you will be holding at the end of your labor. Best of wishes, and don't worry to much. Try to enjoy this special time in your life. Rv
hello,you are not stupid, you are just being like every first time mum.i remember that i didn't start to panic till the last week and then i started to panic that my daughter didn't want to come out as she was a week late,all my friends thought i was nuts lol but exactly 7 days after my due date i gave birth to my daughter.don't get me wrong it was hard an hurt like hell but there is so many pain relief you can use,gas an air is wicked i swear i saw my head roll off my shoulders when i was using that stuff lol but i would differently do it again,i cant wait to have a brother or sister for my beautiful little girl. an remember its gonna happen even if u try not to push lol good luck
Don't be scared. It's natural just think millions of women have done it. What got me through was knowing that ther are pain numbing meds available. I ended up having a epidural at 8cm.
You are far braver than me. Even to get pregnant would be a nightmare for me, that's why I have chosen never to have children. I know I could not tolerate the pain. If they could guarantee to give me something where I would feel nothing at all, then I would have a baby, but as they can't do that, I never will. I won't even have my ears pierced as the pain would be too much for me.
You would think I was a weakling, but it's because I have been through more physical and emotional pain in my few short years than most people go through in a lifetime, that I just don't want to go through any more.
You are not alone. I was the same its a very scary experience not knowing whats in front of u. Plan in advance your pain relief. and try not and think about it until the time comes or you will drive yourself round the bend.
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Answers:
Aww bless - yes is it natural to feel frightened. However if you put it in perspective - millions of women give birth every day and not too many moan about it - most go on to do it time and time again so it cant be that bad can it. I have 2 children and can tell you that I was terrified of the first birth - believe me it isnt so bad. The fear of the unknown is what makes you scared. Imagine a very bad period pain and that is what a contraction is. Go with the gas and air and pethadine and you will sail through. My daughter gave birth 7 weeks ago and I was one of her birthing partners - she was just as scared as you and yet she did it just fine and now wants another . Good luck love and if you cant shake the fear have a little chat with your midwife about it and see if she cant help xx
It's not silly. It's what most women feel before giving birth the first time. Your body was made to give birth and you are perfectly capable of doing it. You can take birthing classes if you think it will help you feel more confident. Having a doula with you is also helpful. Good luck.
yep its normal, but there really is nothing u can do hun. Just enjoy the peace & quiet b4 baby comes, pamper urself! Good luck & just think every pain u have is well worth what you get at the end, ur beautiful baby xx hope all goes well
Everyone is scared.
I was in labor for 36 hrs and my epidural fell out and stopped working 2x.
No matter how hard that day was it was, hands down, the BEST day of my life.
The labor is painful so get your epidural as soon as possible. It stops the pain. The easy part is pushing out the baby.
I have never had a baby, but my mum says its like having a big poo! Seriously, some women even poo whilst giving birth. The oxygen stuff helps, but dosent kill all the pain and my mum said that when its all over, she felt as if it was worth it. So dont worry darling, you will be fine. And of course its usual to be a bit aprehensive, its a big stage in your life aint it, and it does hurt, so you are imaging the worst. But it has got to come out, so you just have to get used to that fact. Lets just hope your baby has a small head and non-wide sholders hey!
Goodluck and congratulations. x
Its perfectly normal to be scared!! Its fear of the unknown, cos you have never been through it before.
Discuss your fear with your midwife, she will have heard it a million times before, but she will be able to offer you better advice than you will get on here.
Failing that, ask about an elective caeserian section. You will be able to have the baby without feeling the pain.
Not advised as a first option, but if you really can't face the birth its something to think about.
its totally normal! dont worry you will be ok im 29 weeks on baby number 2 and im a bit aprehensive too but i know i get to see my baby at the end of it! just try not to let the worry rule you your birth may not be that bad ! a woman give birth up a tree in the tsunami and millions and millions of women have done it so it cant be that bad good luck xx
Totally normal. You'll never be fully prepared to what's coming up. It's an indescribable roller coaster and yes. it will hurt like you've never hurt before.
Yes. it will end and you will get over it and you will have the most precious thing you've ever had and your life will change forever.
Be scared. Be excited. Be anything you want to be.
Good luck!
you're not stupid of ocurse not. i knw people who have been in this situation and cried loads b4 giving birth coz they are dead scared of the experience coz they dont knw what its going to be like etc but hey ho, it'll all be worth it in the ned. make sure ur partner or mum or someone close is there with u to make u feel calm and relaxed and to help u feel ok. everything will be fine so pls dont panick. take it easy, u dont want to stress baby out do u now. once ur in labour, u wont even think about it. u'll be too excited to be worried sick of giving birth coz u will be giving birth. take care and dont worry x
as a 15 year old mother to be i am to a little scared..my family arnt helping, my mum tellin me all about the oain and everything sometimes i wish i could get a c section which at my age and size could be possible..but anywayz its worth the pain fear is only the beggining if going through that pains means i get to see my girl/boy ( not sure yet findin out 4th december woo ) i would go through it..your partner will support you and u can always get that long needle thing in the back of you to numb it a little
good luck!
i dont think you need to worry about the birth,its the next 18 years you have to worry about.
you do not have to wory about first time. i expect that it how all expectant mother are.
I would have to say yes. What woman wants to go through that pain!
Its normal, I was scared to death and thought of having a csection(which I wont anymore) just to not deal with the pain then I thought Im a grown woman and teenagers give bitrh so it cant be that bad, I stared doing research and reading and getting videos and now what can go wrong and what to expect, just educate yourself about it read birthstories so you know how diferent every birth is and you could be a little prepared for it.
Im also 30 weeks and a first time mom.
Its normal to be afraid of the unknown, you are not alone, get an exercising/stretching pose that works for you and imagine.
( good ones are when your legs are apart, try far apart)
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
congratulations. every woman is scared with the first baby. women have been having babies since the beginning of life. take the classes if they are offered in your area or talk to your midwife or doctor.they can answer your questions .it is a wonderful experience and you will be just fine.
Hiya
I can understand your apprehension I was terrified about giving birth to both my girls ,it is a big event .Everybody is different I would suggest having a good chat to your mother as it seems that birthing is a bit hereditary and she will be the best person to advise and support you .Also make sure that your midwives are easily approached and caring and supportive to talk through your fears .Have you visited the hospital you plan to deliver your beautiful bundle into and made a birth plan of what you would like to happen ,on a personal note I would say that after having my first birth monitered and being given heaps of painkillers ,the second which was totally natural and in a pool was a far better experience for me and my baby. Most of all try not too worry too much it can be a wonderful experience and very empowering and just think after a few hours you will be able to see and love your baby ,and get your body back .Sending you lots of good wishes xxxxx
oh of course its normal! im not even pregnant and scared about giving birth! its natural, but everyone says once they have actually given birth they forget about the pain and what it felt like - if it was really that painful how can women have more than one baby? wouldn't it put you off for life?!?!?!?! just enjoy it babe, my friend has just given birth and she said it was the best day of her life and would do it all again in a second! good luck and congratulations! xxxx
It's so normal. It will probably be painful, over before you know it and never remember the pain exactly. That's what I was told by my mother. I had a c-sect so I didn't have the same experience.
You CAN do it! We all get scared. I got pregnant and then wondered wether I really wanted to be and spent weeks worrying. When my baby was born it was like I'd always known him. Birth hurts and it's not called 'labour' for nothing. It's all consuming but your body is made to do it. Don't listen to scare stories, the dramatists of this world, especially other women. We are supposed to support each other not scare the living daylights out of a sister looking for encouragement! Really - if it takes ALL day to have your baby (and they won't let you go any longer) it's only a day out of your life, which is nothing compared to the life time you'll have the child. It was the best thing that ever happewned to me. AND I went on to have another!! Good Luck. Don' worry.
It is totally normal...It hurts and it is very very hard.
My mom was scared all five times. Take birthing classes if you haven't already.
I remember my sister-in-law told my brother half way through with my neice she changed her mind and with my nephew she started crying that my neice was too young and needed more time to be a baby (something that should have been considered prior to labor).
It is totally normal to be scared and excited. Talk to your doctor about what your fears are and be sure you have good support with you.
You can do it! I did it and I'm a wimp.
Try (and I know it's hard) not to get worked up about it. I have found with birth and with many things in life that the anticipation is MUCH WORSE than the actual event. I can promise you, you will say the same thing once you are holding your precious baby! If you can't get it out of your head that you are going to have a horribly painful birth, then you will absolutely create that. Try to change your thinking to more positive things and remember that your body is designed to have babies.giving birth is completely natural and normal. You can do it.give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself that millions women that aren't nearly as strong as you have done it, so you can too.
Get a CD/audiobook called "Pregnancy Relaxation" from Amazon. This contains a hypnotherapy technique that will really help you cope much better, and the birth should be easier too.
You are SO not alone in feeling this way about giving birth for the first time. You have reached out to this community for answers & I'm sure you will find many supportive responses. Keep asking for the support to get you thru the scary feelings. Talk to your doctor about your anxiety. Be explicit - explain all your feelings. Your doctor needs this information in order to help you thru the birth the best way he/she can. Discuss all the pain relieving options. I believe knowledge gives you a feeling of control. When you feel in control & you know how to go forward it isn't as scary. And if you are still scared let people know you need them. It's ok to ask for help & it's ok to accept it. Maybe concentrate on meeting the little "present" you have been waiting for, for so long. Also, the reality of giving birth is this: it hurts but, the pain ends & you have the most amazing feelings inside of you while holding this new life! Best wishes for a happy & healthy baby! Congratulations!
Don't worry! We all go through this!! I've had 4 children..and in the middle of giving birth to the last 3 I have said.WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF?! I can't do this.blah blah blah.The what if's and why's etc.it's completely normal and the nesting you've been doing.cleaning in the smallest of spots.with a toothbrush.all normal...when I was pregnant with my last child.I re tiled the kitchen, bathroom and pantry by myself while my husband was at work! Amazing what we do! GOOD LUCK!!
NOT stupid, not, not not, not, not. Say that over and over, and start believing it. It is not stupid for you to be having these fears. I feared labor and delievery with all three of my kids. Have you chosen yet if you are going to do natural or drug helped birth? Now is the time to be making those plans (when you plan for something you are a lot less fearful of it) Take some parenting classes, too. I am sure you will be an awesome mother, but it wouldn't hurt to take some of these classes (most hospitals offer them) Try lamaze too, while you are at it.
Most asurly, women have been giving birth for thousands of years, our bodies are made to do it.
Hi, Congratulations on your baby! Fear of delivery is very normal. Everwhere you go people share their horror stories," I was in labor for 3 days." THANKS ALOT! No wonder we are scared to death. Giving birth is an amazing thing that only we women do, AND as you know many women do give birth more than once. Thats the wonderful thing about it. At the end of this 9 months you finally get to see your baby and hold them and in a while you forget about all the fear and remember the joy of the baby. I personally believe that at the end of the pregnancy you are so big and uncomfortable that you will be sooooo ready to have this baby you will be saying , " I just want this baby to get here!" That's just my feeling and I've had two children. Just remember the Dr. and nurses are there to help. Get your epidural as soon as possible{ this is truely God's gift to women} and think about the beautiful baby you will be holding at the end of your labor. Best of wishes, and don't worry to much. Try to enjoy this special time in your life. Rv
hello,you are not stupid, you are just being like every first time mum.i remember that i didn't start to panic till the last week and then i started to panic that my daughter didn't want to come out as she was a week late,all my friends thought i was nuts lol but exactly 7 days after my due date i gave birth to my daughter.don't get me wrong it was hard an hurt like hell but there is so many pain relief you can use,gas an air is wicked i swear i saw my head roll off my shoulders when i was using that stuff lol but i would differently do it again,i cant wait to have a brother or sister for my beautiful little girl. an remember its gonna happen even if u try not to push lol good luck
Don't be scared. It's natural just think millions of women have done it. What got me through was knowing that ther are pain numbing meds available. I ended up having a epidural at 8cm.
You are far braver than me. Even to get pregnant would be a nightmare for me, that's why I have chosen never to have children. I know I could not tolerate the pain. If they could guarantee to give me something where I would feel nothing at all, then I would have a baby, but as they can't do that, I never will. I won't even have my ears pierced as the pain would be too much for me.
You would think I was a weakling, but it's because I have been through more physical and emotional pain in my few short years than most people go through in a lifetime, that I just don't want to go through any more.
You are not alone. I was the same its a very scary experience not knowing whats in front of u. Plan in advance your pain relief. and try not and think about it until the time comes or you will drive yourself round the bend.
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