Does anyone know how to get kids in to their own bed?
i have a 3 year old and a 5mth old and i cant get them into own bed any ideas
Answers:
Do what is right for you and your partner. Your children will in time stop coming to your bed. I had 3 sons and a dog, all of whom shared a bed with my husband and myself at some point throughout the night .Occasionally one of us would move to the children's bed.They do grow up and you will treasure the closeness you have built with them. Don't worry about other people, These are your children and so long as you and your partner agree and can find time for yourselves, enjoy your children. Childhood does not last long.......
you have to be firm..diff. with all kids...
when they get out..u have to put them back.everytime.may take a few days..no sleep for u mind!!..
the 5 month old..should be in a cot...cant get out?..if u put it there..it will stay there.no?
Sing a song.:)
Scottietiger has answered this wonderfully.
Just an add on - do your children sleep in separate rooms, or are they in together.
This may make things a little harder. If they are in together they will play off of each other to get your attention and not sleep.
If they are in separate rooms, you will be running between the two.
It is going to be tough, but bear with it and stay firm.
You will find that it will cause an upset with your partner (if you have one).
I had a few problems with my 11 month son going to sleep. Fortunately he is still in a cot, so couldn't run riot.
His father and myself have had huge rows over the way we have dealt with it, but we are finally through the other side and our little man goes down now at 730 and we don't generally hear from him until 630 the following morning.
Hard work, but worth it in the end.
The pick up put down method works every time. all the programmes show you that.. you will be standing outside the door all night, but eventually they click on. once you start no going back, you cannot confuse the child, I have 3 children 5,3 and 2 worked every time with them. and they are all different believe me !!
Put them to bed say goodnight walk out
they get up you say no its bedtime you put them back
they get up again you don't speak no eye contact you put them back
and keep repeating the process no conversation no eye contact
will work i promise
but the 5month old needs to be in a cot , until at least 18months
play " the war of pillows and cushions " with them in the hour before sleeping to the extent that they get exhausted , let them take a rest , a cup of warm milk, then 2 sleep
Make the bed look great buy them a quilt cover with their favourite
character on it that might tempt them.
i suggest you get them psyched for tomorrow. . . or you could play a game that will get them tired. . . do a treasure hunt that leads to their bed with a note that says "receive reward tomorrow" :p
Make it exciting for them. Give them a reward in the morning when they stay there all night. Buy him covers that he chooses and let him help to put the room how he feels comfy. I had trouble with my son. Been the only boy ( 4 sisters) i had to resort to using a gate so he couldnt get out of his room after a couple of nights he soon got the idea. As for the 5 month old they should be in a cot.
one way is never use bed as a punishment if they are bad.
have to make bed a fun time and have to spent time with your kids at bed time dont allow sweets or juice near bed time only milk and stay away from the tv, you kids need to wind down once in bed read them fun storys and you can play act some of the sceens let them have a laugh with it. my kids look forward to bed wasnt like that in the begining but i realized the shouting didnt help.
Sleeping in a 'grown up' bed can be quite upsetting for some children. It may just seem like a small thing to us, but to them there are a million things to worry about!
Is there a monster under my bed? What happens if I fall out? Supposing mummy isn't there when I wake up? What if I have a bad dream?etc.
The first thing to do is to make sure your child isn't worrying about any of the above. Even at 3 years old they should be able to communicate with you to let you know.
Secondly is to have a very firm bed time routine! Children in a way are like pets, they actually behave better in a controlled environment and are happier when they know where they stand. Set a time when you feel your child will go to bed without too much fuss. Say 6pm for example. Run them a warm bath and have a little play time for 10 mins before bed. Once upstairs though that is it, no more going back down until the morning. Once out of the bath, take them into their room and sit on the bed with them as you dry them off and get them into their pjs, then allow them to choose a book for you to read. Tuck them up into bed and read to them for about 10 mins (you don't have to read them all of the book!) then tell them it is time to sleep, kiss them, cuddle them, leave the room!
If they get out of bed, just tell them no, it is time for bed and walk them back there. If they do it again don't talk to them in any way shape or form. Just take them by the hand and put them straight back to bed. DO NOT kiss or cuddle them again, just walk away.Continue doing this until they get tired of getting no response from you.
If you continue talking to them everytime they get up they are getting your attention. This is why they get up so don't give in to them.
You may find that the first night they get up nearly all the time but you have to be firm for their sakes. It will be incredibly frustrating and even heartbreaking not to talk to them but trust me, it really does work. It won't happen overnight, it took me a week of marching back up and down the stairs but each night they got out less and eventually they just didnt bother!
The following morning after they have gone to bed and not got back out of it praise them sooooooooo much they will feel so good about it. Tell them how grown up they are and how proud of them you are and maybe get them a little treat.
3 year olds aren't stupid. All they are doing is grabbing your attention and pushing boundaries, so show them you mean business by staying calm yet firm.
As for your 5 month old, they really should be in a cot but the same rule of thumb applies. Don't take them out of the cot when they cry for you, just walk in, lay them down and walk away again., not talking to them or giving them your time any longer than is necessary.
I wish you luck! and enjoy your evenings alone to relax knowing your kiddies will have a great nights sleep!
I really sympathise with you,i have 4 kids 3 were no problem but the 4th is now 4yrs and will insist on coming into our bed at 2/3 in the morning,shes done this for near 2 yrs now and we have run out of ideas.So you have my sympathy but sadly no answers.I will monitor this Q & A for maybe an answer to the prob myself.Sleep well if you get the chance...
Yes, you put them into bed and leave them there. You are the adult and they are the children. No matter how many times your 3 year old gets up, put him/her back to bed each time, don't talk to them, just close the door. In terms of the 5 month old, this should be easier than the older child, just check to see there is nothing wrong with the infant and put them not bed.
It will take time with your 3 year old, but it will be worth it.
Good luck.
A different take: why do you want them out of your bed? co-sleeping is one of the best ways to help your children feel secure, really! We want to share our beds with our partner and yet expect our children to sleep alone. Its not natural, its only our Western culture that has a problem with it, the vast majority of cultures throughout history have kept their children close by at night, keeping them safe, secure and warm. Read Deborah Jackson's book "Three in a Bed" for more info. Its a real eye-opener.
If you're not convinced, then I would suggest perhaps a children's book about moving to a big bed..make it out to be an exciting move..avoid battling over it if at all possible.
You need to set up a routine and stick to it.No matter what. It will take a few days to a week. As a mother of 4 ,I used to have bath time1 hour before bed. (For the 3 year old)This lasted about 15 to 30 minutes.Then PJ's cuddles and hugs.After I snuggled them into bed it was short story time. After this I would quietly kiss them good night ,and leave the room.Some had a soft night light some had none ,some had the door opened very little, some had it shut.Depending on each child's needs.As for the 5 moth old the bath time would last only 10 to 15 minutes.After PJ'S, cuddles ,hugs ,I would rock the child for about 15 -20 minutes while quietly singing(you don't have to have a good voice.your baby does not care),or telling a story.Then off to bed with a snuggle ,and kiss good night.
At first your children will fight this routine.Be calm.quite,and firm.Soon they will except and expect this.
Be warned story time is additive!Both for the child and the parent.My husband love participating in it..After they became older they liked his stories the best.And would ask for his stories well into their early teens.
I went through this with my son.
Put his toddler bed (or crib) in the same room as you. He'll go to sleep easier in a familiar environment. Go through with the bedtime routine every night, and let him calm down with a little assistance from you. It will take some time before he stops crawling into bed with you, but letting him adjust on his own can be less traumatic for him that putting him in a new bed and a new room all at once. After he starts sleeping through the nights without leaving his bed, then move it to his room. Continue the routine until he stops waking. Make sure you keep up the before bed routine though. Drastic changes can throw children for a loop. They need to know what to expect from one day to the next.
Get a co-sleeper for the baby. It's a bed with 3 sides the same height as your bed. It attaches to the bed for extra stability. The baby is still there and easy to access, but there is no risk of you rolling over on him. He is also slightly lower than the bed in the sleeper, so he can't roll out onto the bed. Gradually move him into a crib in the same room, then out of the room when he sleeps through the night.
http://www.armsreach.com/index.php.
This method worked well for us, and we didn't have all the stress and battles that some of our friends had with their children sleeping in the big bed.
They feel safe with you as a mum. make their rooms safe and fuun to be in. maybe teddy bears or say a big tiger soft toy to hug
what cartoon charactor do they like get them the duvet cover and curtains etc and tell the 3yr old that this is a big boys bed make him feel special. tell his grandparents etc that he in his own bed and get them to praise him as well. the more people that praise him the better.
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Answers:
Do what is right for you and your partner. Your children will in time stop coming to your bed. I had 3 sons and a dog, all of whom shared a bed with my husband and myself at some point throughout the night .Occasionally one of us would move to the children's bed.They do grow up and you will treasure the closeness you have built with them. Don't worry about other people, These are your children and so long as you and your partner agree and can find time for yourselves, enjoy your children. Childhood does not last long.......
you have to be firm..diff. with all kids...
when they get out..u have to put them back.everytime.may take a few days..no sleep for u mind!!..
the 5 month old..should be in a cot...cant get out?..if u put it there..it will stay there.no?
Sing a song.:)
Scottietiger has answered this wonderfully.
Just an add on - do your children sleep in separate rooms, or are they in together.
This may make things a little harder. If they are in together they will play off of each other to get your attention and not sleep.
If they are in separate rooms, you will be running between the two.
It is going to be tough, but bear with it and stay firm.
You will find that it will cause an upset with your partner (if you have one).
I had a few problems with my 11 month son going to sleep. Fortunately he is still in a cot, so couldn't run riot.
His father and myself have had huge rows over the way we have dealt with it, but we are finally through the other side and our little man goes down now at 730 and we don't generally hear from him until 630 the following morning.
Hard work, but worth it in the end.
The pick up put down method works every time. all the programmes show you that.. you will be standing outside the door all night, but eventually they click on. once you start no going back, you cannot confuse the child, I have 3 children 5,3 and 2 worked every time with them. and they are all different believe me !!
Put them to bed say goodnight walk out
they get up you say no its bedtime you put them back
they get up again you don't speak no eye contact you put them back
and keep repeating the process no conversation no eye contact
will work i promise
but the 5month old needs to be in a cot , until at least 18months
play " the war of pillows and cushions " with them in the hour before sleeping to the extent that they get exhausted , let them take a rest , a cup of warm milk, then 2 sleep
Make the bed look great buy them a quilt cover with their favourite
character on it that might tempt them.
i suggest you get them psyched for tomorrow. . . or you could play a game that will get them tired. . . do a treasure hunt that leads to their bed with a note that says "receive reward tomorrow" :p
Make it exciting for them. Give them a reward in the morning when they stay there all night. Buy him covers that he chooses and let him help to put the room how he feels comfy. I had trouble with my son. Been the only boy ( 4 sisters) i had to resort to using a gate so he couldnt get out of his room after a couple of nights he soon got the idea. As for the 5 month old they should be in a cot.
one way is never use bed as a punishment if they are bad.
have to make bed a fun time and have to spent time with your kids at bed time dont allow sweets or juice near bed time only milk and stay away from the tv, you kids need to wind down once in bed read them fun storys and you can play act some of the sceens let them have a laugh with it. my kids look forward to bed wasnt like that in the begining but i realized the shouting didnt help.
Sleeping in a 'grown up' bed can be quite upsetting for some children. It may just seem like a small thing to us, but to them there are a million things to worry about!
Is there a monster under my bed? What happens if I fall out? Supposing mummy isn't there when I wake up? What if I have a bad dream?etc.
The first thing to do is to make sure your child isn't worrying about any of the above. Even at 3 years old they should be able to communicate with you to let you know.
Secondly is to have a very firm bed time routine! Children in a way are like pets, they actually behave better in a controlled environment and are happier when they know where they stand. Set a time when you feel your child will go to bed without too much fuss. Say 6pm for example. Run them a warm bath and have a little play time for 10 mins before bed. Once upstairs though that is it, no more going back down until the morning. Once out of the bath, take them into their room and sit on the bed with them as you dry them off and get them into their pjs, then allow them to choose a book for you to read. Tuck them up into bed and read to them for about 10 mins (you don't have to read them all of the book!) then tell them it is time to sleep, kiss them, cuddle them, leave the room!
If they get out of bed, just tell them no, it is time for bed and walk them back there. If they do it again don't talk to them in any way shape or form. Just take them by the hand and put them straight back to bed. DO NOT kiss or cuddle them again, just walk away.Continue doing this until they get tired of getting no response from you.
If you continue talking to them everytime they get up they are getting your attention. This is why they get up so don't give in to them.
You may find that the first night they get up nearly all the time but you have to be firm for their sakes. It will be incredibly frustrating and even heartbreaking not to talk to them but trust me, it really does work. It won't happen overnight, it took me a week of marching back up and down the stairs but each night they got out less and eventually they just didnt bother!
The following morning after they have gone to bed and not got back out of it praise them sooooooooo much they will feel so good about it. Tell them how grown up they are and how proud of them you are and maybe get them a little treat.
3 year olds aren't stupid. All they are doing is grabbing your attention and pushing boundaries, so show them you mean business by staying calm yet firm.
As for your 5 month old, they really should be in a cot but the same rule of thumb applies. Don't take them out of the cot when they cry for you, just walk in, lay them down and walk away again., not talking to them or giving them your time any longer than is necessary.
I wish you luck! and enjoy your evenings alone to relax knowing your kiddies will have a great nights sleep!
I really sympathise with you,i have 4 kids 3 were no problem but the 4th is now 4yrs and will insist on coming into our bed at 2/3 in the morning,shes done this for near 2 yrs now and we have run out of ideas.So you have my sympathy but sadly no answers.I will monitor this Q & A for maybe an answer to the prob myself.Sleep well if you get the chance...
Yes, you put them into bed and leave them there. You are the adult and they are the children. No matter how many times your 3 year old gets up, put him/her back to bed each time, don't talk to them, just close the door. In terms of the 5 month old, this should be easier than the older child, just check to see there is nothing wrong with the infant and put them not bed.
It will take time with your 3 year old, but it will be worth it.
Good luck.
A different take: why do you want them out of your bed? co-sleeping is one of the best ways to help your children feel secure, really! We want to share our beds with our partner and yet expect our children to sleep alone. Its not natural, its only our Western culture that has a problem with it, the vast majority of cultures throughout history have kept their children close by at night, keeping them safe, secure and warm. Read Deborah Jackson's book "Three in a Bed" for more info. Its a real eye-opener.
If you're not convinced, then I would suggest perhaps a children's book about moving to a big bed..make it out to be an exciting move..avoid battling over it if at all possible.
You need to set up a routine and stick to it.No matter what. It will take a few days to a week. As a mother of 4 ,I used to have bath time1 hour before bed. (For the 3 year old)This lasted about 15 to 30 minutes.Then PJ's cuddles and hugs.After I snuggled them into bed it was short story time. After this I would quietly kiss them good night ,and leave the room.Some had a soft night light some had none ,some had the door opened very little, some had it shut.Depending on each child's needs.As for the 5 moth old the bath time would last only 10 to 15 minutes.After PJ'S, cuddles ,hugs ,I would rock the child for about 15 -20 minutes while quietly singing(you don't have to have a good voice.your baby does not care),or telling a story.Then off to bed with a snuggle ,and kiss good night.
At first your children will fight this routine.Be calm.quite,and firm.Soon they will except and expect this.
Be warned story time is additive!Both for the child and the parent.My husband love participating in it..After they became older they liked his stories the best.And would ask for his stories well into their early teens.
I went through this with my son.
Put his toddler bed (or crib) in the same room as you. He'll go to sleep easier in a familiar environment. Go through with the bedtime routine every night, and let him calm down with a little assistance from you. It will take some time before he stops crawling into bed with you, but letting him adjust on his own can be less traumatic for him that putting him in a new bed and a new room all at once. After he starts sleeping through the nights without leaving his bed, then move it to his room. Continue the routine until he stops waking. Make sure you keep up the before bed routine though. Drastic changes can throw children for a loop. They need to know what to expect from one day to the next.
Get a co-sleeper for the baby. It's a bed with 3 sides the same height as your bed. It attaches to the bed for extra stability. The baby is still there and easy to access, but there is no risk of you rolling over on him. He is also slightly lower than the bed in the sleeper, so he can't roll out onto the bed. Gradually move him into a crib in the same room, then out of the room when he sleeps through the night.
http://www.armsreach.com/index.php.
This method worked well for us, and we didn't have all the stress and battles that some of our friends had with their children sleeping in the big bed.
They feel safe with you as a mum. make their rooms safe and fuun to be in. maybe teddy bears or say a big tiger soft toy to hug
what cartoon charactor do they like get them the duvet cover and curtains etc and tell the 3yr old that this is a big boys bed make him feel special. tell his grandparents etc that he in his own bed and get them to praise him as well. the more people that praise him the better.
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