Anybody have difficulty forming friendships / being "emotionally close" to others?
can someone tell me more about this problem and what one can do about it?
Answers:
I do. I always have, since I was a kid, but I'm a lot better at it now. It would be irresponsible of me to make a judgement based on this little information, but there are four basic axioms from which this could stem:
A. A physical disorder, either neurological or not local to the brain, but effecting it (too many to list):
http://www.stayinginshape.com/3osfcorp/l.
B. A chemical imbalance
http://www.thehealthcenter.info/chemical.
C. A behavioral (also called social) disorder. Here's a quiz:
http://www.pdq4.com/stimtest.html.
D. Or a more superficial psychological barrier that is less complex (childhood isolation, history of rejection, etc), in which case, it's always nice to pick up some antidepressants to keep you going until you can pick yourself up and straighten it out.
Maybe you're just smarter than them (you still might want the antidepressants).
I tend to try and make friends too quickly - I have learnt it takes time to make good friends
Yes, I do. Not friendships but relationships. I put it down to being let down in the past and not trusting people enough now. I don't see it as a problem though, I am happy with my life.
it is called a trust issue and lots have it. it takes time and effort and for some if it is too one sided then they drop it as they feel they are doing too much work and it is not worth it anymore and let things go
yeah Ive got that problem but its only because I'm surrounded by idiots. the best cure is to keep away from people who irritate you. and don't blame yourself. its not your fault your not an idiot as well
here a list.
impaired ability to make friends with peers
impaired ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others
these are called solical disorders. Many people have the social disorders that started in childhood.
You need to go out amoung people, join a club, meet people for coffee. after awhile you will feel more relexed
Ask yourself; have I always been this way? If not, then there was someone, or something, that disappointed you and you may have subconsciously decided not to trust again. OR you might have concluded that friendships aren't worth the hassle. If you want to change this, you will need to find common ground with the rest of humanity, and choose your friends wisely, preferably those with similar interest as you. Otherwise, there is nothing "wrong" with you if you simply prefer your own company and want to follow your own path.
Yeah, I have no idea why, but I suck at making friends, while I excel at relationships. Goes to show that perhaps friendship and relationship aren't the same thing. I've read books like "How to Make Friends and Influence Others" by Carnegie, and I think they help. Just not brave enough to use it, though. It talks about conquering your fears (for that is the reason that holds you back) and giving your opinion to the world. Stuff like that. Good read.
First of all you seem to be addressing "intimacy issues". You may have the desire to be close to others, but instinctively hold them all at bay. It's mostly being "fearful" of being close to others for fear of being hurt. When making attempts to make friends, and associating yourself with new friends, you possibly do something subconsciously to jeopardize it from building even further.
You might want to seek professional help, or if you can't afford professional help, then seek out your local new-age librarys in the self-help section to purchase books as a means of understanding yourself more.
Yes, i know many people have said self-help doesn't work, but it does. You just have to have to have a deep desire to be well, or at least to have a better understanding of where you're coming from. Only those who keep trying to find excuses to keep on being the way they and have no desire to be well, are those who say it doesn't work. Those are the same people who probably say psychologists are fekked up. Which is possibly true, but doesn't it take a certain kind of person to be more understanding towards another? ;)) Take care, and good luck.
Yes.
A part of the problem (if in fact it is 'a problem,' and then in 'what sense' is it one!) is in actually meeting someone with whom I might think 'I'd like to feel close with this person.'
But, 'It takes two to Tango,' and if the other person isn't in the mood or on the same wavelength ..then there isn't much to be done but to leave a friendly / good / positive impression behind you ~ and it helps if it's a sincere one though.
Sash.
Yes! I don't trust anyone, been stabbed in the back too many times. Can be depressing but check out 'wrong diagnosis' it might have some answers.
I have the opposite problem.
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Answers:
I do. I always have, since I was a kid, but I'm a lot better at it now. It would be irresponsible of me to make a judgement based on this little information, but there are four basic axioms from which this could stem:
A. A physical disorder, either neurological or not local to the brain, but effecting it (too many to list):
http://www.stayinginshape.com/3osfcorp/l.
B. A chemical imbalance
http://www.thehealthcenter.info/chemical.
C. A behavioral (also called social) disorder. Here's a quiz:
http://www.pdq4.com/stimtest.html.
D. Or a more superficial psychological barrier that is less complex (childhood isolation, history of rejection, etc), in which case, it's always nice to pick up some antidepressants to keep you going until you can pick yourself up and straighten it out.
Maybe you're just smarter than them (you still might want the antidepressants).
I tend to try and make friends too quickly - I have learnt it takes time to make good friends
Yes, I do. Not friendships but relationships. I put it down to being let down in the past and not trusting people enough now. I don't see it as a problem though, I am happy with my life.
it is called a trust issue and lots have it. it takes time and effort and for some if it is too one sided then they drop it as they feel they are doing too much work and it is not worth it anymore and let things go
yeah Ive got that problem but its only because I'm surrounded by idiots. the best cure is to keep away from people who irritate you. and don't blame yourself. its not your fault your not an idiot as well
here a list.
impaired ability to make friends with peers
impaired ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others
these are called solical disorders. Many people have the social disorders that started in childhood.
You need to go out amoung people, join a club, meet people for coffee. after awhile you will feel more relexed
Ask yourself; have I always been this way? If not, then there was someone, or something, that disappointed you and you may have subconsciously decided not to trust again. OR you might have concluded that friendships aren't worth the hassle. If you want to change this, you will need to find common ground with the rest of humanity, and choose your friends wisely, preferably those with similar interest as you. Otherwise, there is nothing "wrong" with you if you simply prefer your own company and want to follow your own path.
Yeah, I have no idea why, but I suck at making friends, while I excel at relationships. Goes to show that perhaps friendship and relationship aren't the same thing. I've read books like "How to Make Friends and Influence Others" by Carnegie, and I think they help. Just not brave enough to use it, though. It talks about conquering your fears (for that is the reason that holds you back) and giving your opinion to the world. Stuff like that. Good read.
First of all you seem to be addressing "intimacy issues". You may have the desire to be close to others, but instinctively hold them all at bay. It's mostly being "fearful" of being close to others for fear of being hurt. When making attempts to make friends, and associating yourself with new friends, you possibly do something subconsciously to jeopardize it from building even further.
You might want to seek professional help, or if you can't afford professional help, then seek out your local new-age librarys in the self-help section to purchase books as a means of understanding yourself more.
Yes, i know many people have said self-help doesn't work, but it does. You just have to have to have a deep desire to be well, or at least to have a better understanding of where you're coming from. Only those who keep trying to find excuses to keep on being the way they and have no desire to be well, are those who say it doesn't work. Those are the same people who probably say psychologists are fekked up. Which is possibly true, but doesn't it take a certain kind of person to be more understanding towards another? ;)) Take care, and good luck.
Yes.
A part of the problem (if in fact it is 'a problem,' and then in 'what sense' is it one!) is in actually meeting someone with whom I might think 'I'd like to feel close with this person.'
But, 'It takes two to Tango,' and if the other person isn't in the mood or on the same wavelength ..then there isn't much to be done but to leave a friendly / good / positive impression behind you ~ and it helps if it's a sincere one though.
Sash.
Yes! I don't trust anyone, been stabbed in the back too many times. Can be depressing but check out 'wrong diagnosis' it might have some answers.
I have the opposite problem.
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