I'm suffering from shyness can anyone help me?
I'm desperately in need of a remedy for social shyness.Any hints and tips would be greatly appreciated.
Answers:
You took a great first step by posting a question.
Think of it like this - we all have a creator in common so those other people can't be so bad, can they.
And if it's your self esteem, just remember, God created you. Also, no one has ever died from embarassment.
Drugs
You might have social anxiety disorder they have medication for that.
Alcohol is my only short term cure at the moment,sadly.
read some books on confidence
Take a drink - it will loosen you up. Noooo not cranberry juice, try cranberry juice + vodka =D.
tell ur self ur beautiful
open up, try and talk to people, you never know, the other person may be as shy as you, never wait for someone else to start the conversation.
only you can help yourself with it. just start talking to people. ask people how they are doing. talk about the weather. ask what they did on the weekend. converse with them and you will no longer be socially shy.
.only you can help yourself. Be confident, don't be much speculative.
try chatting. build up your confidence while typing away at the keyboard.
take a very deep breath and remember "you are not the only one on earth" stop being a baby and stand up for once, believe in yourself.YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
Get out of the house more & be around people.
that is something you have to overcome without help from anyone.sorry but i can't give you any advice.
believe that everybody is less than you. make practice each time to express yourself with that believe .
Try participating in team sports. You will focus on the task at hand more than people. You will slowly become more comfortable around people.
I used to have this problem too. What I did to overcome this is talk more and more to my best friends. I ended up becoming very talkative among my best friends and now I don't have this problem anymore. Perhaps you could try this.
You need to make more friends and be more social, just join in the fun. all the best!
yo just be yourself i know its like "oh yeah easy for you to say " but i used to be really shy and then i just started being loud and myself in front of people i really knew and then other people joined in and before i knew it people started asking for my number and email so just be yourself around people you know(but make sure you do it in public) ^_^
Go to a social event with a really talkative friend who has no trouble talking to random strangers. Do that a few times and you'll be a lot more confident!
Start small.
A small group of people is less daunting.
Chat slowly with no shouting.
Listen & speak only when UR confident of what UR saying.
Don't expect URself 2 B king of the Blah in 2 mins flat.
Relax & enjoy listening, as well as talking.
I dont know if this helps but I was really shy in high school. If a girl even talked to me I would blush like crazy. My senior year I decided to not be shy anymore. I joined the track team, stage crew, whatever I could to force me into social situations. By the end of my senior year I was "cured" The only way to do it without taking medication (which I would NOT suggest) is to put yourself into situations where you have to be social.
I sthis your problem :
"Your inability to warm up to people and your shy and retiring ways whenever you are in a new social situation. "..
Taken from :
http://www.coping.org/control/survive.ht.
* Practise becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.
* Great socialisers make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?
* Practise using fewer 'personal pronouns' when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with 'I' are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)
* Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be full of energy, or to be having a great conversation with someone.
Shyness stems directly from the fear of rejection. What you have to realize is that there is no reality, and only perception. Once you realize this, you will also realize that what one person thinks has nothing directly to do with what you think, unless you agree. And then, once you realize that, you realize that some people will love you, and a few won't, but for those that don't, it doesn't matter, because there is only perception, and for those few don't matter, since it is only in their minds that there's anything wrong with you. All that matters in this is what you think of youself, so start thinking of yourself in a more positive light. Get in shape, and feel free to change anything about you that you want to, because it's you, and you have the right, but only if you want to. I know you'll make it, if you want to enough, and don't quit.
dont be shy ,be extrovert and positive.there is no need to feel shy.
first take a good look at yourself in the mirror. if ur not ugly, no reason to be shy. look 'em straight in the eye, ur as good as anyone else!
Think of it as social skills.
The way to learn is by making mistakes.
So just keep trying.
When you start to feel shy don't freak out.
Just think: "it's ok to feel this" then let it dissolve.
Try to find nicer people.
Well, if it's a low-level case, where you're just uncomfortable in social settings, you can always try bringing a friend to kind of introduce you around a bit. It can be a little demeaning, but having someone you trust nearby to support you can ease off the pressure of getting to know new people.
You can also try just switching your attitude for a short time and being the biggest social butterfly ever. It's more risky, and you're bound to have at least one awkward moment, but living on the other extreme, even for one night, can make edging away from your own extreme easier by comparison.
If your shyness is more severe, where you're actually afraid in the social scene, I'd recommend a psychologist. In all seriousness, a private, confidential meeting with someone you can be truly honest with can help just by itself, let alone what the therapist may recommend.
Just stand in front of the looking glass and talk to yourself as long as you can. Keep changing the subject.
I can recommend a very good book to you. It is written by Tracy Cox and is called "Superflirt". It may be a really good help to you. Her techniques do not apply for flirts only but also to a common behaviour among a society. Just try it! Its price is 12.49 pounds.
One example from her book: When you are really really shy, and you want to talk to someone but you are afraid of looking into the person's eyes, then you should look at his nose. Your conversation partner will not notice your looking at her/his nose.
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Answers:
You took a great first step by posting a question.
Think of it like this - we all have a creator in common so those other people can't be so bad, can they.
And if it's your self esteem, just remember, God created you. Also, no one has ever died from embarassment.
Drugs
You might have social anxiety disorder they have medication for that.
Alcohol is my only short term cure at the moment,sadly.
read some books on confidence
Take a drink - it will loosen you up. Noooo not cranberry juice, try cranberry juice + vodka =D.
tell ur self ur beautiful
open up, try and talk to people, you never know, the other person may be as shy as you, never wait for someone else to start the conversation.
only you can help yourself with it. just start talking to people. ask people how they are doing. talk about the weather. ask what they did on the weekend. converse with them and you will no longer be socially shy.
.only you can help yourself. Be confident, don't be much speculative.
try chatting. build up your confidence while typing away at the keyboard.
take a very deep breath and remember "you are not the only one on earth" stop being a baby and stand up for once, believe in yourself.YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
Get out of the house more & be around people.
that is something you have to overcome without help from anyone.sorry but i can't give you any advice.
believe that everybody is less than you. make practice each time to express yourself with that believe .
Try participating in team sports. You will focus on the task at hand more than people. You will slowly become more comfortable around people.
I used to have this problem too. What I did to overcome this is talk more and more to my best friends. I ended up becoming very talkative among my best friends and now I don't have this problem anymore. Perhaps you could try this.
You need to make more friends and be more social, just join in the fun. all the best!
yo just be yourself i know its like "oh yeah easy for you to say " but i used to be really shy and then i just started being loud and myself in front of people i really knew and then other people joined in and before i knew it people started asking for my number and email so just be yourself around people you know(but make sure you do it in public) ^_^
Go to a social event with a really talkative friend who has no trouble talking to random strangers. Do that a few times and you'll be a lot more confident!
Start small.
A small group of people is less daunting.
Chat slowly with no shouting.
Listen & speak only when UR confident of what UR saying.
Don't expect URself 2 B king of the Blah in 2 mins flat.
Relax & enjoy listening, as well as talking.
I dont know if this helps but I was really shy in high school. If a girl even talked to me I would blush like crazy. My senior year I decided to not be shy anymore. I joined the track team, stage crew, whatever I could to force me into social situations. By the end of my senior year I was "cured" The only way to do it without taking medication (which I would NOT suggest) is to put yourself into situations where you have to be social.
I sthis your problem :
"Your inability to warm up to people and your shy and retiring ways whenever you are in a new social situation. "..
Taken from :
http://www.coping.org/control/survive.ht.
* Practise becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.
* Great socialisers make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?
* Practise using fewer 'personal pronouns' when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with 'I' are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)
* Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be full of energy, or to be having a great conversation with someone.
Shyness stems directly from the fear of rejection. What you have to realize is that there is no reality, and only perception. Once you realize this, you will also realize that what one person thinks has nothing directly to do with what you think, unless you agree. And then, once you realize that, you realize that some people will love you, and a few won't, but for those that don't, it doesn't matter, because there is only perception, and for those few don't matter, since it is only in their minds that there's anything wrong with you. All that matters in this is what you think of youself, so start thinking of yourself in a more positive light. Get in shape, and feel free to change anything about you that you want to, because it's you, and you have the right, but only if you want to. I know you'll make it, if you want to enough, and don't quit.
dont be shy ,be extrovert and positive.there is no need to feel shy.
first take a good look at yourself in the mirror. if ur not ugly, no reason to be shy. look 'em straight in the eye, ur as good as anyone else!
Think of it as social skills.
The way to learn is by making mistakes.
So just keep trying.
When you start to feel shy don't freak out.
Just think: "it's ok to feel this" then let it dissolve.
Try to find nicer people.
Well, if it's a low-level case, where you're just uncomfortable in social settings, you can always try bringing a friend to kind of introduce you around a bit. It can be a little demeaning, but having someone you trust nearby to support you can ease off the pressure of getting to know new people.
You can also try just switching your attitude for a short time and being the biggest social butterfly ever. It's more risky, and you're bound to have at least one awkward moment, but living on the other extreme, even for one night, can make edging away from your own extreme easier by comparison.
If your shyness is more severe, where you're actually afraid in the social scene, I'd recommend a psychologist. In all seriousness, a private, confidential meeting with someone you can be truly honest with can help just by itself, let alone what the therapist may recommend.
Just stand in front of the looking glass and talk to yourself as long as you can. Keep changing the subject.
I can recommend a very good book to you. It is written by Tracy Cox and is called "Superflirt". It may be a really good help to you. Her techniques do not apply for flirts only but also to a common behaviour among a society. Just try it! Its price is 12.49 pounds.
One example from her book: When you are really really shy, and you want to talk to someone but you are afraid of looking into the person's eyes, then you should look at his nose. Your conversation partner will not notice your looking at her/his nose.
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