How do I manage to upset people without even trying? Is it a psychological personality flaw of some kind?
Answers:
I know. I do this too. Maybe we are just more sensitive to it than others. But I hate it. I'd rather glue my ear to a smelly dustbin than upset anyone, but I seem to have a particular talent for this. I once made a joke to my pal and she didn't speak to me for 3 weeks. It was meant to be a compliment. And I always seem to be upsetting this guy who's very special to me when I'm trying to say something good.
Maybe we should take a vow of silence. I will if you will.
try cheering people up. they have other problems and need support
sometimes it just happens, im sure ur fine
because you dont think before you speak and have little concept in the theory of mind ie putting yourself in someone elses shoes.
Where I'm from we call a person who does that an @sshole. There is hope, the simple fact that you are aware of it tells me that you can change!
yep
That really makes me mad.
It could be that u r misunderstood.
The best thing to do without putting your foot in it is to listen to people. Genuine listening to people is a very difficult skill, but once learnt, you can understand the other persons point of view and from that know how to reply and forward your opinions. Don't be so hard on yourself.It comes with practise.and who knows.you may be able to find out something about the other person rather than concentrating on trying to get your point of view across.
Everybody does this. The fact is, most people either don't care that they upset people or they lack the emotional intelligence to know that they have.
You just happen to be very self aware of the effect you have on peoples lives.
I bet loads of people you know have said or done something that upset or pissed you off. And I bet you didn't say anything about it either .
You just need a bit more backbone.
It's not always your fault some people are too serious for their own good and take everything personally,others are just unsociable.
Dont worry about it just concentrate on those that do like you and i'm sure that's plenty.
we all do things we dont understand y we do them
Is this a case of not thinking before you speak, I guess it probably is! You need to stop yourself from saying things that can hurt people. Sometimes things come to mind when I see some people, rarely I say something and regret it, but I am learning to be more thoughtful!
First, I cannot say anything, honestly, that defines the question for you from my perspective other than your "alright,"; however, I can mention that there are directions which you might turn to find exactly what your after.
Look toward these sites in my sources list which have the best opportunities for a clearer understanding of your situation than anyone who might offer their "uneducated guess" on this site.
Secondly, it is not right to say specifically that a person is one way or another without long-time knowledge of them.
Hey, tell the truth (always) and bugger what anyone thinks. This is how I live and I sleep well at night.
Don't worry so much, honey. They'll get over it.
Its not something you are doing, it's a flaw in the people. The ony thing you are doing is coming into contact with sensitive people i guess. People are responsible for their own feelings, you can't make them feel anything.
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