My golf course is under attack.?
Hello my name is Carl.I work on a golf course as a caddy.At the moment we are having problems with a Gopher.Although he is cute he is becomming a pest,i would like some advice on how to get rid of him.
Answers:
HAHAHAHA, half of the people answered this question seriously!:)
a gun
AK-47 every mother*uking one of them!
Take some hoses, then put the ends of them in every varmint hole you can find and turn on the water. If that doesn't do it, use dynamite.
Try one or both of these:
1) Increase the club membership fees
2) Introduce a dress-code involving knee-high socks
well I don't know what a Gopher is but surely you could call someone from RSPCA if you have that over there.
get yourself a groundhog, that'll root it out
Ask the Green-Keepers. They know how to get rid of it.
You are just the Caddy what do you know !
Buy him a plane ticket!
Have Hollywood make a movie of the gopher.
Watch Caddyshack. It will give you plenty of ideas!
We don't have gophers here in the UK, unless they're in a zoo, but we do have moles. Theres an elecronic gizmo available to get rid of moles, you put it in one of the burrows and it emits a sound that they don't like - so they go away. Surely there must be something like that for gophers?
Just tell him that it isn't him.its me i've changed and i just don't think we've got much in common anymore..we've grown apart - he'll be gone in a day or two
A few years back, there was a really good documentary made about this exact problem. I think it is called "Caddy Shack" or something like that. I am sure it will have all the advice you need on how to rid yourself of the little varmint.
This 1 is simple. Automated machine guns is the answer. Stragetically placed in the little blighters favourite hang-outs would soon make him realise that this is truly a mans world..and not a gophers.
Ask me tomorrow.....
Whoyagonnacall, Gopherbusters!
run him over in your buggy
Try to call Rodney Dangerfield's spirit to drive them away...
Hire all your nephews to have a steakout on the field with paintball guns this evening..hook them up with big spotlights and lots of rounds of ammo.
The best way to rid the course of gophers is to eliminate the reason they are there. Usually gophers are after the grubs under the surface of the grass. At the course where I used to work we also had the same problem, we also had skunks tearing up the place to get at the grubs. A good pesticide is what will get rid of them.
carl wasn't a caddy. he was a groundskeeper
I like how half of you never got the joke.but wasn't he the greens - keeper? I haven't seen that movie in a long time.
It's not pretty but it works. I suggest not doing it around a lot of people. When you see one on into a hole look around for it's escape hole. Have a shovel ready and a hose. Take your hose stick it down the hole and flood it. Wait the guy to come out and hit in the head. Every golf course ends up with and employee that is good at this task.
Put poison down in it's hole.Get it at Tractor Supply!
just put up a sign saying GOPHERS NOT ALOWED
Kill all the gophers Karl you know it makes sense.
PS they dont like pizza.
Actually, Carl, give up on the gopher and focus on your playing skills. You might make it to Augusta one day and become a Cinderella story. As for your swing thought, a wise man once told me "Gunga Galunga." So, you got that going for you.
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Answers:
HAHAHAHA, half of the people answered this question seriously!:)
a gun
AK-47 every mother*uking one of them!
Take some hoses, then put the ends of them in every varmint hole you can find and turn on the water. If that doesn't do it, use dynamite.
Try one or both of these:
1) Increase the club membership fees
2) Introduce a dress-code involving knee-high socks
well I don't know what a Gopher is but surely you could call someone from RSPCA if you have that over there.
get yourself a groundhog, that'll root it out
Ask the Green-Keepers. They know how to get rid of it.
You are just the Caddy what do you know !
Buy him a plane ticket!
Have Hollywood make a movie of the gopher.
Watch Caddyshack. It will give you plenty of ideas!
We don't have gophers here in the UK, unless they're in a zoo, but we do have moles. Theres an elecronic gizmo available to get rid of moles, you put it in one of the burrows and it emits a sound that they don't like - so they go away. Surely there must be something like that for gophers?
Just tell him that it isn't him.its me i've changed and i just don't think we've got much in common anymore..we've grown apart - he'll be gone in a day or two
A few years back, there was a really good documentary made about this exact problem. I think it is called "Caddy Shack" or something like that. I am sure it will have all the advice you need on how to rid yourself of the little varmint.
This 1 is simple. Automated machine guns is the answer. Stragetically placed in the little blighters favourite hang-outs would soon make him realise that this is truly a mans world..and not a gophers.
Ask me tomorrow.....
Whoyagonnacall, Gopherbusters!
run him over in your buggy
Try to call Rodney Dangerfield's spirit to drive them away...
Hire all your nephews to have a steakout on the field with paintball guns this evening..hook them up with big spotlights and lots of rounds of ammo.
The best way to rid the course of gophers is to eliminate the reason they are there. Usually gophers are after the grubs under the surface of the grass. At the course where I used to work we also had the same problem, we also had skunks tearing up the place to get at the grubs. A good pesticide is what will get rid of them.
carl wasn't a caddy. he was a groundskeeper
I like how half of you never got the joke.but wasn't he the greens - keeper? I haven't seen that movie in a long time.
It's not pretty but it works. I suggest not doing it around a lot of people. When you see one on into a hole look around for it's escape hole. Have a shovel ready and a hose. Take your hose stick it down the hole and flood it. Wait the guy to come out and hit in the head. Every golf course ends up with and employee that is good at this task.
Put poison down in it's hole.Get it at Tractor Supply!
just put up a sign saying GOPHERS NOT ALOWED
Kill all the gophers Karl you know it makes sense.
PS they dont like pizza.
Actually, Carl, give up on the gopher and focus on your playing skills. You might make it to Augusta one day and become a Cinderella story. As for your swing thought, a wise man once told me "Gunga Galunga." So, you got that going for you.
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