Whats the funniest announcement you've heard made on the tube?
A few weeks ago the driver announced over the telecom 'To the man who just got on at the back of the train, causing the doors to reopen cos he got on as they were closing, therefore delaying the tube and possibly making you all late for work, dont try and be a hero mate, you just look like a tw*t!'
Anyone heard any funnier ones?
Answers:
Excellent! After the normal stand-behind-the-yellow-line one, I heard an announcer say: "Very funny mate, but I won't be the one pulling the remains of your body out of that pit" Hilarious - especially as we were at Canada Water station, which has those double doors.
There are no expected delays on this train today!! - lol.. 30 minutes later we were sat in a tunnel for 25 mins.
stand clear of the doors please & i miss that geezer who says
MIND the GAP!!
The train driver apologised for the long delay (we had been at a standstill for about 15 minutes near Wembley, and the train was packed). He said he had been talking to the signalman and suggested that if we all look out of the right hand window, we will see the signalman responsible for holding us up in his signalbox, and we can wave to him indicating what we think of him.
Sure enough, the signalman was at the window looking at us, and he was regaled with one and two fingered salutes.
On another occasion, there was an announcement saying that all lines were running a good service, and if you believe, that you'll believe anything.
I'm sorry but this wasn't on the tube but on a mainline train from Bristol to Reading. On approaching Reading station (I think) the train stopped.. after five minutes the announcement came."We are sorry for this delay which is due to an insufficiency of platforms at Reading".
"Sorry for the delay to the folks.but some dick has dropped his brief case on the track at Perivale"
When my son was in London last he was on the tube for 10 minutes when the tube stopped in the middle of a tunnel? Then a man voice announced " Sorry folk! Just checking if we're on strike or not" My son and his friends all had visions of the person confirming they were and leave passengers to walk it to the next tube station telling them to just follow the track. Fortunately for them . It didn't happen!
When we were told the train and all subsequent trains would be late as the tea urn had broken!
About 20 years ago Jules Holland and Paula Yates advised everyone to tune in after the break because the place was full of groovy fuckers.live TV eh,can't beat it.
Have a look at this site its dedicated to funny announcements on the tube
http://solo2.abac.com/themole/
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Anyone heard any funnier ones?
Answers:
Excellent! After the normal stand-behind-the-yellow-line one, I heard an announcer say: "Very funny mate, but I won't be the one pulling the remains of your body out of that pit" Hilarious - especially as we were at Canada Water station, which has those double doors.
There are no expected delays on this train today!! - lol.. 30 minutes later we were sat in a tunnel for 25 mins.
stand clear of the doors please & i miss that geezer who says
MIND the GAP!!
The train driver apologised for the long delay (we had been at a standstill for about 15 minutes near Wembley, and the train was packed). He said he had been talking to the signalman and suggested that if we all look out of the right hand window, we will see the signalman responsible for holding us up in his signalbox, and we can wave to him indicating what we think of him.
Sure enough, the signalman was at the window looking at us, and he was regaled with one and two fingered salutes.
On another occasion, there was an announcement saying that all lines were running a good service, and if you believe, that you'll believe anything.
I'm sorry but this wasn't on the tube but on a mainline train from Bristol to Reading. On approaching Reading station (I think) the train stopped.. after five minutes the announcement came."We are sorry for this delay which is due to an insufficiency of platforms at Reading".
"Sorry for the delay to the folks.but some dick has dropped his brief case on the track at Perivale"
When my son was in London last he was on the tube for 10 minutes when the tube stopped in the middle of a tunnel? Then a man voice announced " Sorry folk! Just checking if we're on strike or not" My son and his friends all had visions of the person confirming they were and leave passengers to walk it to the next tube station telling them to just follow the track. Fortunately for them . It didn't happen!
When we were told the train and all subsequent trains would be late as the tea urn had broken!
About 20 years ago Jules Holland and Paula Yates advised everyone to tune in after the break because the place was full of groovy fuckers.live TV eh,can't beat it.
Have a look at this site its dedicated to funny announcements on the tube
http://solo2.abac.com/themole/
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